pictures

Marcus and I at the Hero Breakfast:

Pictures of the new ring:

my hero.

I have so many exciting things to report on that I barely know where to begin. I think I'll start with this morning and work backward.

This morning Marcus and 4 other firefighters were honored at a Red Cross Heroes Breakfast. He received this award for helping pull a man from a burning building in June of last year. The breakfast was really well done, and it was a great honor for those guys.

Marcus and I got back from the East Coast on Tuesday evening. We went to Baltimore, DC, and New York. We had amazing adventures there, and best of all, we got to hang out with my sister, Sarah!! There were so many awesome memories made, but the highlights include:

1. Marcus getting down on one knee and giving me a new, phenomenally beautiful ring while we were ice skating at Rockefeller Center. It was picture-perfect, and people even cheered for us. We celebrated our 5th anniversary while we were there!! :)

2. Seeing the Statue of Liberty and Ellis Island. It was big and impressive. Did you know that the face alone is 8 feet tall?

3. Getting to see Wicked on Broadway. It was really well done, and perhaps the best show I've ever seen. After that, Marcus and I went to a delicious little Italian restaurant and had a romantic dinner. The whole evening was awesome--except for when I fell out of my shoe, and faceplanted.... imagine Cinderella only much less graceful... ouch.

4. Exploring DC with Sarah & Marcus. We all feel a little more American after seeing all the sights in DC. My favorite part was taking a tour of the Capitol with Patty Murray's assistant. We learned a lot of phenomenally interesting 'America' facts. I feel like I may have upped my Trivial Pursuit game a little just by visiting. That may just be wishful thinking though.

5. Getting to see Sarah's favorite places in Baltimore. I got to meet her friends (who are super fun),

and see the places that Sarah frequents, including a really cool church that has a terrific gospel choir. We also went out to eat at amazing restaurants all over Baltimore. It was so much fun to spend time with her, and I'm so proud of her cute life there. She was a tremendously hospitable host, and the whole time was terrific!

While we were there, our friends had their baby boy. Congrats to the Finley's on the birth of Ty. :) We can't wait to meet him!

Before that, I had an impromptu birthday bash to celebrate my birthday. It was fun to see everyone, and I felt well-celebrated.

Health-wise, I remain about the same. I'm still vomiting daily, and not feeling much relief from anything. My bloodwork remains good, so I'm pleased about that. The trip was pretty good for me, health-wise, so I'm super relieved about that.

Phew. I think that's all. Hugs, love, and thanks for all the prayers!!

brelin

snow and exhaustion

On Monday night, Marcus and I returned from a really fun adventure to Holden Village. Holden is a retreat center in the middle of nowhere, kind of by Chelan. It was beautiful, and we really enjoyed ourselves. Marcus' parents invited us along, and we had a great time with them too. It being a really remote location, Marcus and I had been praying fervently that nothing would happen to me medically while we were away. Thankfully, God answered those prayers.



However, immediately upon our return.... (literally we were pulling into the driveway), I jumped out to run to the bathroom and throw up. This is pretty standard for me, so I wasn't too worried about it. This is when something went very wrong... Mid-vomit, I gasped for air, and somehow inhaled a chunk of something, which promptly made me start choking. So, I was still vomiting, and now choking. (NOT awesome.) I ran outside to get Marcus' attention so that I didn't die alone on the bathroom floor, and he asked, "Are you ok?" I shook my head "no." He asked, "Are you choking?" I nodded, "yes." He helped me into the kitchen, where I continued coughing and retching on the floor. Eventually, small amounts of blood starting coming up, because these actions were so violent... Marcus said to me, "I'm taking you to the ER." I gasped, "I don't want to go." He replied, "I don't care. I'm calling 9-1-1 if you can't make it to the car." He carried me out, and drove quickly to the ER. I arrived, still vomiting and gagging, choking, and gasping for air. They got me in promptly--I'd say it was my most dramatic entrance into the ER yet. :)

I'm still sputtering and vomiting, and they're trying to start my IV. Normally, no one can get an IV started, but this guy in the ER was a miracle worker. He got it on the second try, despite all my violent movements. They pushed vicodin and heavy anti-nausea drugs immediately, hoping to relax my system. Eventually, my coughing slowed down (this is about 30 minutes later.) My chest xray looked okay, and my lungs sounded pretty clear, so they think I must've coughed up whatever it was. The docs put me on antibiotics just in case, so that I don't develop pneumonia. ugh.

I've been feeling a bit better the last couple of days. I'm still really tired from the trip, and from my ER adventure, but I'm LOVING the sunshine that God's blessed us with the past couple of days. I'm hoping that this week will prove restful and fun!

Marcus and I are doing our best to trust that God's timing is perfect in all things.... And we're praying that healing is just around the corner. :)

Hugs, brelin

what i've been up to.

I feel like I've been really busy lately. I'm not sure what I'm doing, but I'm awfully tired from doing it. :)

Marcus and I started the month of February snowshoeing. I got snowshoes for Christmas and was excited to try them out. Marcus, naturally, led us across a creek in snowshoes, where I had to bound from rock to rock in order to avoid falling in the water. This might seem like no big deal to YOU, but I have really poor balance, and get dizzy easily--so navigating the stream in snowshoes was quite a feat. I made it through our adventure alive, and didn't fall into any bodies of water, so I consider the trip a success. We had lots of fun, and I fell down a few times laughing hysterically in the snow. It was awesome.

I've also been baking a lot lately. Cupcakes, cookies, breadstickes, cinnamon chip scones... and they're all delicious. Oh, and I also made really yummy minestrone soup. This recipe redeemed me in Marcus' eyes, as the night before I had made Spinach and Artichoke Mac and Cheese. It wasn't awful, but wasn't good either. I know this because Marcus did not have seconds. The Minestrone soup, however, was a winner. He's had seconds, and even ate the leftovers yesterday. phew. :)

I went to watch some Eastlake HS girls do gymnastics this past weekend. It was awesome, and I'm pretty amazed at flipping. I mean, it's one thing to see kids on tv busting a move on the floor and the vault, but a whole other thing to see it live. I'm completely in awe of their talent, and am certain that I would never run as fast as I can to hurl my body at a vault. I'm fairly certain it would end very poorly.

I'm about to embark on my first solo sewing project. I hope it turns out well. If it does, I promise to post pictures. If it goes poorly, it might find a place in the trash with the mac and cheese. :)

As for a health update, there is not much new to report. I'm still vomiting, but I seem to be keeping fluids down, and some food is staying in occassionally too. I think I've been eating a lot more lately, in hopes of keeping more down. I'm not sure if this new approach is working, and Im about to give up from being so tired from puking all day long. I think soon I'll return to just drinking tea all day. :)

Hugs,
brelin

it is finished.

I mean, our condo is finished...we still have a tiny bit of touch-up painting to do, which I should hopefully be able to get done today. Everything else is done. Our windows are framed, our new carpet is in, the painting is finished, and all the door molding, and floor molding has been changed out. And, I think it looks awesome. Sorry the pictures are a little dark, but it's the best I could do working in Seattle in the winter. :)

From the living room, looking into the dining room/entry:

The living room (looking at the fireplace):

The dining room:

My new sewing area (in our bedroom):

I went on a little adventure to the Tri-Cities this past week, and had a blast visiting friends and family. I spent good time with mom & dad, and got to see several friends. I also spent lots of time on the couch, resting in the cleanliness. It was delightful. It was my grandparent's 57th wedding anniversary, and I was able to join them for dinner! Here are they are (at dinner):

I think the highlight was seeing my best friend, Aubrie, and her 3 kiddos. It's fun to see friends that have known you forever, and even though you're both pretty terrible at keeping at touch, you are caught right up the minute you see each other again. We giggled, laughed, and created lots of flower arrangements for Aubrie's sister's wedding. It was fabulous. The best part was going out to breakfast and catching up while surrounded by pancakes with strawberries and whipped cream. mmmm. :) Here we are at the wedding with Aubrie's youngest, Nathan:Now that I'm home, and everything is put away, there isn't a ton to do. I'm still going to bible study, and still leading a group of young life girls in bible study too. I'm finding that I'm more tired these days, but doing pretty well overall. I'm consistently keeping fluids down, and sometimes food is staying in too!

Hugs to everyone, brelin

disarray

The last couple of weeks, we've been working on beautifying our house. While I'm extremely thankful that my husband is "handy" and can work on all these projects without having to pay someone lavish amounts of money to correct them; I am also very ready to put the furniture back it's proper location.
We're working on wood-wrapping our windows, changing all the baseboards and doorframes, and we also got new carpeting. These are all things that we were hoping to do before we sell our house in the future... and I thought we should get them done now, so that we can enjoy them for a couple of years before we move. I took some "before" pictures, and I promise to take some "after" pictures--just as soon as there is an after. :)
The good part about all of these projects going on is that I've acquired lots of new skills: spackling wood baseboards, caulking everything all over the house, using a crow bar to pry the old baseboards from the wall, and other really helpful things.
The bad part is that sometime in the midst of this chaos, I also got really sick and quit keeping down fluids for 3-4 days. I landed myself back in the hospital IV therapy for several hours getting pumped full of fluids. Apparantly, they injected magic water, because since then I am keeping down fluids AND some food. Thank you, Jesus. :)
My tummy health has gotten a bit better since the IVs. I'm still vomiting every day, just not everything anymore. I started acupuncture again, which is helping with my intestines a bit as well. I also learned that I have a hairline fracture in my sacrum (lower back), so I've been wearing patches of lydocaine to numb them and that's been helping. I'm also supposed to start physical therapy, which will help also. I think I may have fractured it a year ago snowboarding, and I just keep aggravating it. Either that, or I hurt it this summer when I was learning to pop wheelies. Regardless, it will be nice when it doesn't hurt anymore. Oh, and I got my pre-cancerous spot removed on my back, and now have another 2-3" scar. Lovely. I get those stitches out on Friday. Although my health is in total disarray, I'm holding it together reasonably well mentally. Prayers are always welcome.
All I can say is that I can't wait for my house to be clean. Seriously.

Happy 2010!

Happy New Year to everyone!! :)

Since my last post, there has been a bit of a Christmas debacle. Marcus and I did join the Weakley family briefly to celebrate Christmas with them. We arrived on Christmas Eve, went to church with the whole family, and then went to bed. I woke up the next morning feeling okay, so I did a Pilates workout in the living room and took a shower to get ready. I had just finished my hair, and was watching a DVD with Grandma, when I was blinded with horrific pain. I made it to the bathroom, and ended up doubled over on the floor. Marcus came in and took me to the ER, where we spent 5+ hours getting sub-standard care. The nurses were amazing, but the doctor was terrible. Ugh.

We made it back to my parent's house, where we quickly opened presents, and then Marcus drove us back to Sammamish.

I stayed the next day with Jim and Carol, and my pain was better that day, but I spent the majority of time in bed and parked on the couch.

Since then, my pain has lessened, although I still have a pretty rough time at nights.... but I'm hanging in there. Marcus, however, is currently on muscle relaxants, and had to call in sick to work. He woke up several days ago with horrible neck and back pain, which has progressively gotten worse each morning. I forced him into the doctor's office yesterday, and they prescribed him some meds to hopefully relax his back/neck. He lovingly chides me about how he "never had stress in his life until he married me." Thus, I have been deemed the root cause of his current predicament. :) (I think he was just tired of me being in the spotlight.)

Last night, our friend Kristin rang in the New Year with us. We had phenomenal plans about going downtown, but with my health & Marcus' health being what it was, we decided to stick close to home. We toasted with sparkling cider at midnight, and then went to bed. There is a photo of the painkillers with the sparkling cider which I did not include in this post, but thought it captured the moment beautifully.

We're hoping that 2010 will be full of fun and adventure, and that miraculous healing will take place any minute! We're so thankful that we have a God who loves us so richly, and blesses us abundantly with friends and family like you.

Hugs and love to all of you!

my new favorite thing.

This has been a busy week for us already. We've celebrated 2 Christmas' so far. We kicked off the Christmas festivities with the Rismiller Family Christmas. It was so much fun to play with everyone, and opening presents is always fabulous. I believe my favorite present that I opened was from my sister-in-law, Tammy. It was a decorative plate that is pictured above. It's not often that opening a present moves me to tears, but this one did. I LOVE this plate, and I believe it captures my life's sentiments perfectly. I hope to be dancing in the rain as long as is necessary. :)

The following day, we had the Johnson Family Christmas. We have new additions to the family, mainly Dave's fiance, Amy, and their adorable daughters, Piper and Scarlett. Above is Piper and me. The next one is Piper's sweet new kicks with her beautiful (and very fancy polkadot dress.) We had a terrific time together: laughing, telling stories, making and eating chicken enchiladas. Below is Aunt Judy & I assembling the enchiladas. And the last one is Scarlett and I together. Sorry you can't see her face, it's cute. :)

We'll be heading to the Tri-Cities in 2 days to celebrate Christmas with the Weakley family. It should be another fun adventure. Merry Christmas to all!

snow?

I'm dreaming of a White Christmas. I blame my mother for my love of this Bing Crosby movie, and actually made Marcus attempt to dance with me in the comfort of our living room to my favorite song, "The Best Things Happen While You're Dancing." I mean, if Danny Kaye and Vera-Ellen can do it, I'm sure we can too! Our dancing certainly left a little something to be desired and was less than elegant. However, it was really fun.

I digress. The point of this entry is about WHITE Christmas. It has been miserably cold here lately and it seems to be all for nothing. I love snow. I want snow. Why is this too much to ask for? I realize that I live in Western WA now, but it seems reasonable to ask for snow. Just last night, it was snowing in Puyallup, but by the time we made it home--there was nothing but rain. Lame. :(

I had a follow-up appointment with my GI doctor, and he has yet another new thing to try. I'm beginning to take a regimen of Cayenne supplements. It has something called capsacin in it, which is made from the hot part of the pepper. The idea is that the supplements will burn away the nerves that carry pain. So, I'm buring my stomach nerves with Cayenne, and then easing their woes with Aloe Vera juice. If nothing else, I am probably confusing my stomach/intestines enough that I'm shocking them into submission. I like the idea anyway. :)

Hugs and Christmas love to all.
brelin

botox shmotox and patience.

You may know already what I'm going to say about my recent botox injection, given the title of my entry today. :) Let's just say that I'm not horribly impressed with my recent botox procedure. I think that my pain is less overall, but I'm still managing to vomit like nobody's business. They injected the botox into several different sites in my stomach and small intestine, but it doesn't seem to have done much. Shoot. One piece of good news in my life is that I successfully made a pumpkin roll for Thanksgiving. This is a phenomenally delicious dessert that my grandma, Sarah, made each year for the holidays. However, she has recently become too tired to attempt this, so I'm doing my best to carry the torch--since my mom is too chicken to try. :) Above is a picture of my pumpkin roll. It was delicious, and the picture doesn't fully do it justice.

Also, we recently got our Christmas tree, and since it's arrival at our house it looks like Christmas exploded. We literally hiked for like 3 miles, stomping around the tree farm to make sure that we got the perfect tree. I think we managed to get it this year....it looks great in our house. Below is Marcus doing the heavy lifting. He's so funny!

And a ridiculous story from my life today to show how amazing God is.

This morning at church, we discussed "signs from God"--and what we can do about them. Ironically, I was not feeling good--tired, in pain, nauseated, and really wishing that I was at home, still in bed. However, I had gone to church anyway, thinking that it might be the right thing to do. I half-heartedly listened to the sermon on Luke, spending most of my time passing notes with Marcus about how I'm sick of being patient. I quote from my note at church this morning: "I hate being patient. I have to be patient about my health--and how I puke every freaking day. I have to be patient while I wait for healing. I have to be patient about our housing situation, and now I have to be patient about waiting to have kids. Hmph."

Fast forward to after church....where Marcus and I are waiting in line at Starbucks to order our drink, discussing our drink orders with one another. An adorable old lady (she was wearing a teal coat, walking with a cane, and had to have been at least 85) turned around and looked me square in the face. She said boldly, "You have to be patient today." I looked back at her, and I'm sure that my mouth dropped wide open. There was an awkward silence while she collected the rest of her thought, and she said, "You have to be patient waiting in line today."

Internally, my mind was racing 100 miles an hour. How did she know I needed to be patient?! We weren't talking about patience, or health, or anything...we were talking about the merits of peppermint hot chocolate... Once she turned back around to order her drink from the barista, I laughed out loud in amazement at God's sense of humor. Clearly, it was a sign about my need for patience, and I'm certain that this little old woman was a messenger from God to remind me.

Dear God,

I get it. Thanks for the sign; I'm not sure you could've spelled it out more clearly for me today. And I'll try harder to be patient even though I don't want to. :)

Love, Brelin

i'm thankful for...

Marcus and I decided early in our marriage that we would share the things we are thankful for early in the morning on Thanksgiving day.

Here's my list this year:
1. WELCOME BREAKS FROM THE NORM. I'm thankful for the months of July and September. JULY because it was a unexpected break from the vomiting and pain. I was able to run, jump, play, frolic and giggle with boundless amounts of energy. The time spent with Marcus was a reminder of why we married each other... it was not about sickness and pain, instead about being silly and cherishing each moment of adventure together. And I'm thankful for September because it was a fabulous month of weather in Seattle. Normally, we're heading into fall... which means a downward spiral into rain and gloom. However, this year September was filled with 8o degree weather and sunshine. It was glorious. :)

2. FAMILY. I'm thankful for Andy & Alyssa's engagement (yay!), for Sarah and her adventures of self-discovery, for Alyson & Rich that we can have fun even when we haven't hung out in a year. For my parents (all of them: Mark & Jane, Steve & Karen, Jim & Carol) that they're willing to share their advice when asked, to cheer us on in the midst of struggles and joyous times too, and for the endless amounts of love pour that they pour into our lives. I'm also thankful for all the Johnson's, Weakley's, and Rismiller's that we have so much fun together and that we all get along so well. :)

3. JOY. I'm thankful for the gift of JOY in the midst of struggle and suffering. This is a gift that comes from God alone, and He gives me the strength to get through even the most difficult days with laughter. It is amazing to be loved by a God who cares so deeply for me, and showers me with blessings of all kinds--strength, hope, and at times, healing. I know that He continues to heal my spirit each day, breathing new life into my broken body.

4. HOT FIREMAN. I'm thankful for my hot fireman, Marcus, who loves me more deeply each day, and truly embodies Christ's love to me. I love our wild adventures, our laughter, and that when I am too weak to walk on my own--Marcus lovingly picks me up and carries me. He comforts me when I am hurting, and prays for me when I need a reminder to reach out to the One who is the ultimate Healer. He is such an amazing man, and I love him sooooo much.

5. FRIENDS. I'm really thankful for my girl friends this year... for the ones who laugh with me and play with me even when I'm not feeling great. I'm thankful that I can cancel plans at the last minute, and they totally understand. I'm thankful that I don't have to "pretend" to be feeling good around them when I'm not. Thanks for loving me you guys, and I love you all too!! :)

6. MY GI DOCTOR. I'm also really thankful for my gastroenterologist, Dr. Schneier. I love that he never gives up on me, listens to me and my struggles, and always has something new to try.

This leads me to a brief medical update.... On Tuesday, I'll be going in for a botox injection in my guts. They do this during an endoscopy. The hope is that the botox injection will relax my intestines and stomach, causing the spasming to stop (and my abdominal pain to be lessened or relieved completely.) Hopefully that will decrease the amount of vomiting that is taking place as well. I've also started drinking Aloe Vera juice, which is supposed to help with my mast cells. One side note: aloe vera juice is disgusting, bitter, and generally pretty awful...(you can even taste its nasty flavor through orange juice!) but I suppose if it helps, I'll come around to the flavor.

Hugs and love to you all.
brelin

a new day...

It's Monday, and I'm hoping that this week will be filled with special reminders of God's love for those who need it.... for the tender touch of grace, and loving arms of God to be wrapped around those who need comfort.... and for a mighty healing touch to be felt in those who need it most this week.

We had a great night at Campaigners (our Young Life bible study) and the girls shared about so many people who are hurting right now, dealing with cancer, and grief. They even listened and prayed for me too. They're so awesome!! Thank you for each one of those girls. :) Lord, we ask that you surround those families we mentioned last night and give them the courage they need to get through their tough situations.

We love you, and we pray boldly for healing in the weeks ahead--especially for little Kendyl, who does have leukemia. We're trusting you for mercy and peace, a miraculous healing...

Amen.

kind of a rough week

It's been kind of a rough week this week. It started on Monday, when we got a call that Grandma Rismiller's health had taken a drastic turn for the worse... We made it to the hospital, and were able to spend the day with her. She was lucid for parts of the day, and could hear us some of the time. She was a woman of phenomenally deep faith, and it was an honor and a privelege to know her. She brought people together to hear the word of the Lord even as she was dying--at one point 8 of us were gathered around her bed to listen to the Bible and share communion together. She touched the lives of so many people with her faith and love, and I know that I am forever changed by the way that she modeled being a faithful follower of Christ.

Tuesday, I worked as a substitute teacher... which normally is very rewarding, but I found out early in the day that Grandma had passed away during the night. It was her 93rd birthday. The students were all very good, but subbing leaves me so exhausted. It exacerbates my abdominal pain and increases my symptoms, leaving me with lots of catch-up to play the rest of the week.

Wednesday I spent most of the day recovering. I was not feeling well at all, and I have been working on writing a personal letter to submit to the state for my disability claim. It has been much more emotionally draining than I would have imagined, working on this letter--I'm confronted again by all of the things that are wrong with me: with my health, and why I'm unable to work at the job that I am so passionate about-youth ministry. On a normal day, I don't dwell on all of my symptoms: vomiting and diarrhea, bloating, sleeplessness, and pain. I try not to think about all that I have lost these last two years, on the pain that I feel each day from morning 'til night. I simply accept it as my life now, and do my best to continue on...not ignoring reality, but choosing to live joyfully in the midst of this challenge.

Today has been another day working on the letter. It's wearing on me emotionally, and I believe is compounding the sadness that I feel about Grandma too. In addition, today we found out a friend's little girl is in the hospital, and may have leukemia. She's only 2. Please keep them in prayer as well.

All in all, it's safe to say that it has been an exhausting week. I feel physically, emotionally, and spiritually tired. I trust that God will provide the strength to get through this time, as He always provides the grace we need. Please remember to lift up our friend's two-year-old in prayer, that she will be healed from whatever is ailing her. Give the doctors wisdom, and give her parents peace. We thank you, Lord, for the amazing life that Grandma Rismiller lived, and the awesome example that she was for us in life and love. We rejoice that she is in your presence now, and ask that you be with the rest of our family as we remember her life with joy and also with sorrow that she's no longer with us. Please give me boldness to speak the truth in my letter about my illness and the effects that it has had on my life. Be in the midst of the appeals process, guiding me through, and give compassionate hearts to the people making the decision on my case.

In Your Name,
Amen.

salt 'n' peppa

We went bowling on Halloween with some friends. Marcus and I dressed as Salt and Pepper....We had tons of fun with them hanging out, chatting it up, and watching Oregon smear USC in football before we started bowling...when I even got a strike!!! :) Woot woot! The pics above are us bowling in the black light and disco ball. Below is the dignified shot when we first got there.Yay!! What a fun night we had!!

three cheers for Darius Rucker!

It's been another busy week with lots of wild adventures!

Early in the week, Marcus and his brother Jon made a trek to get more miracle water from Glacier Basin. They hiked in the pouring rain and other miserable conditions, so I was told to be very appreciative when they arrived home with it. :) So far, I've been drinking it--but nothing miraculous has occurred. I'm going to be sure to have the doctor test some of the water if something good happens though. I'll be sure to keep you all posted.

I worked as a sub this week in an 8th grade Math/Science class, and had a blast. I really like the teacher of that class, and enjoy his "style"... so I always have fun with his students as well. Later that night, I tried to play soccer, rather unsuccessfully this time. I learned that teaching+soccer=almost fainting on the field due to low blood pressure. Okay, we'll know that now for next time. Marcus benched me at half-time, which was okay, because it was so cold & rainy that I just wanted to sit in the car anyway. :)

I'M DRASTICALLY CHANGING THE SUBJECT TO A MUCH MORE CHEERFUL ONE. BRACE YOURSELF....

I feel like last night all of my high school dreams were realized. I went to a concert with my friend, Alicia Gelles. We have known each other forever--since 4th grade or something. We went to a Rascal Flatts concert in Tacoma, and the opening band was Darius Rucker. The name meant nothing to us. However, when HOOTIE from Hootie and the Blowfish walked on stage and started singing, it was like a dream come true. Apparently, some time in the last 10 years, he's made a switch to country music and "changed" his name to his actual name. Weird. The best part was that he not only sang a few of his famous country hits, but he busted out the famous Hootie hits from the good old days. Alicia and I held each other close, our hands clasped and raised proudly in the air, swaying rhythmically to the music, belting out "Hold My Hand" as Rascal Flatts and Darius Rucker closed down the Tacoma Dome. It was a magical night--straight out of 1996.

larch trees!

My mom came to visit, and we got to see "Joseph" at the 5th Ave. Theater--it was amazing. If you have the chance to go, you should do it! The main reason for her visit was to come fix yet another bridesmaid dress. I am too short, and not the correct size to buy things off the rack. Shoot. However, my mother, (tailor to the poor) has done another phenomenal job of taking in, hemming, and generally rearranging my dress, so that I will look fabulous for the wedding in a couple months. Thanks, Mom!

Marcus and I went on another hike, this time to the North Cascades to a place near Blue Lake/Liberty Bell/Early Winter's Spire (I think those are the correct names). It was amazing, and I got to see larch trees for the first time. Larch trees are like pine trees, only the needles turn yellow and then fall off. We took pictures to show you this amazing sight. It's been raining for a week straight, but it didn't rain a drop on our hike. (yay!) The sun came out for our photo opps. :)

Beyond that, there's not much to report. I'm doing reasonably well lately... my energy level is pretty good, and my vomiting is only insanely bad a few times a week. My pain level was off the charts the other day for some reason, but after Marcus carried me to bed, doped me up, and then prayed for me, I finally fell asleep--I've been doing great since then. I'm still not sure what caused the disaster, but I'm glad that it's over. :)

Happy Fall to All!
brelin

something stinks.

I'd like to blame Marcus for the foul odor that is in our condo. However, I think it's something far worse than a human smell that he (or I) could have produced. It seems that whenever we turn on our bathroom fan(s) that a nasty smell comes cirulating into our condo. Delightful. Since we have had the really blustery winds the last few days, the odor has been significantly less. I think I can still smell it, despited the candy corn-scented candle that has been burning non-stop to mask the stench. Being the responsible and grown-up homeowner that I am, I have contacted multiple places, only to get the run-around about what to do. Can't someone just hook up a giant vaccuum and suck the dead thing (or whatever it is that is stinking) out of the exhaust vent? Is there no such thing as a giant vaccuum? I've called HVAC people and Duct Cleaners, and no one wants to come fix our odor. Everyone is very nice, but no one seems to be able to help. Marcus is coming home with a ladder tomorrow, so hopefully we can find the problem ourselves. Ugh. i hate being an adult.

I played soccer again last night! This time, it was much more successful than the other times I've tried, and I only threw up once during the game! VICTORY. :) Oh, and I didn't fall down all over the place either. I'd like to attribute this to the vast amounts of carmel brownies that I've been consuming lately... perhaps these are good for one's soul and soccer playing abilities?! I feel like they are.

I don't think I have much else to report. I subbed in 7th grade science the other day, and those kids wore me out. The highlight of the day was when one kid called me a "nazi", and his friend didn't hear him, but I did. His friend said, "huh?!" I said to the boy, "Jimmy* just called me a Nazi. You should tell him that he should insult me more quietly next time so that he doesn't get put on the naughty list." Jimmy's eyes got very wide, and I said, "Jimmy, I've been pretty nice so far, you should hear my REALLY mean voice." And then his eyes got bigger. It was really hard not for me to laugh, I'll be honest. All in all, it was a good day.

I'm enjoying going to Bible study, we're studying Luke. I'm also enjoying leading my Young Life girls, they are hilarious, and it's almost time for homecoming! Very exciting--I can't wait to see the pictures!

hugs,
brelin
(*Jimmy is not the boy's real name. I didn't want to totally embarrass him in case he stumbled upon my blog somehow.)

lots of fun adventures!!

My life has been so full of fun activities lately!! :) I have been so blessed to be attending all kinds of events in the Seattle area lately. I saw the show, Wicked, with some friends of mine--which was AMAZING. Then a couple days later, I went to a Sounders game with some other friends, which was SUPER fun. Later, I went to see Ben Harper & Pearl Jam in concert with another friend in the Key Arena which was RAD. The best part about all of these events is that someone else was supposed to go originally, and then I was called at the last minute to "fill-in"--getting to take advantage of an extra ticket. Thank you to all of you, friends, who have been so generous this past week!! :) I almost forgot to mention that Marcus, Tad, Jim, Carol, and I had a killer "jam session" at our house playing the new "Beatles Rock Band." It was awesome to see my mother-in-law playing a plastic guitar while my father-in-law was trying to pelt out the words to "I Am the Walrus." Yes, they are LOVING being retired, and yes, I took pictures. However, I think if I posted them, I'm not sure we'd ever get them to come over again. Just know they had fun. :)

The past few days in Sammamish, the weather has been awesome, and Marcus has had several days in a row off, so we thought we'd embrace the sunshine by heading to the mountains for another hiking adventure. We threw stuff in our backpacks and headed for an overnight trip to Gem Lake. (pictured below.)

It was a pretty uneventful trip, all in all, which in my world is fantastic!! There were no insane log crossings, no rock climbing sections, and no near-fainting episodes. However, I did throw up twice, sadly breaking a 4-day puke-free streak. Below is a picture of me at the beginning of the hike.

Oh, I almost forgot the man-size bug that we saw when we were about to leave. We had just finished packing all of our stuff up, Marcus was about to close his pack, and we saw this HUGE and disgusting monster sitting on the top of Marcus' pack. We immediately grabbed the camera, to photograph the removal of the bug, hoping (and praying) that the bug would not fall inside the pack. I might have let out a girly shreik, worried that it would fly when Marcus poked it with a stick. Little did I know, it was hugely fat, and could barely hop it was so heavy. :) I'll include a photo for your viewing pleasure.

After much discussion, I've decided that I'm going to try not to keep track of days in a row that I don't throw up because I just get disappointed when I start throwing up again. Marcus suggested that I celebrate each puke-free day individually, enjoying the increased energy and day of fun for what it is; and then start over being thankful the next morning again. Hopefully I will get to keep being thankful a zillion days in a row, but I just won't be thinking about "breaking a new record". I'll let you know how my new thought process goes.

Have a wonderful week!

p.s.

Side Note from God: do not get ahead of yourself. I'm right here. I've brought you this far, why do you think I'd abandon you now?!

As I have been re-organizing my bathroom cabinets this morning, I had an overwhelming surge of thankfulness that I no longer have to use a picc line to survive. It is easy for me to get ahead of myself, caught up in the things that I want and worried about how things will get taken care of in the future... Right now, in this moment, I remember and celebrate that I am not dependant on a picc line to get my fluids--I can simply drink water or gatorade or delicious iced tea from Cheesecake Factory (my fav) and most of the time it even stays down! :)

Thanks God, for these simple gifts--that I so often take for granted.
Amen.

the heavy metal water strikes again.

Some of you may remember my miraculous healing which occurred roughly around the same time as my consumption of the "heavy metal water," which I drank after a ridiculously strenuous hike into Glacier Basin. (you can see the post on July 21 for more information)

Anyway, after seeing the GI doctor this past week for my nausea and vomiting which has returned and gotten worse again...it seems that my heavy metal water might have had some legitimate restorative effects after all. The doc ran some blood tests, and it turns out that I am low in zinc. I start my new supplements tonight. I'm also starting some more new meds that are working on restoring my mast cells... hoping to decrease the inflammation in the bowel, decreasing the pain overall, and hopefully, in turn, eliminating the vomiting. I appreciate that Dr. Schneier never runs out of ideas. :)

As for other activities, I'm beginning a new bible study tomorrow morning--the study of Luke. I'm excited to be discussing the bible in a group of women again. And a couple other women & I are leading a group of 10th grade girls in Bible study on Sunday nights too. That just started up last week, and will be a lot of fun as well. I'm doing some tutoring on the side that will start up this next week--and will get my brain going too.

Please pray for immediate healing. Pray for clarity in the road that God would have us walk down. In the midst of all this, our desire is to start a family. Please pray that my body might be restored completely, that we might be able to conceive a child, and that Gdo would protect me and that healthy child during a safe and easy pregnancy.

Thank you all for your love and support.
brelin

things that make you go hmmmmmm.

I have good news and bad news.

The bad news is that my vomiting started up again, and was pretty rough for the past several weeks. I sort of felt like a disappointment, like I was somehow a failure to my blogging community--so I didn't want to write about it right away. I've been so excited to report my good news about being a digester, and I didn't want to let you all down again.

The good news is that it seems that I may have stalled long enough for the vomiting to have worked itself out again. This is my 4th day of being puke-free in a row! Yay!! :) Hopefully, I'm back on a tremendous digesting streak. I'll have to keep you posted. I go see the doc again tomorrow.

The same old news is that still the docs have no real understanding of WHY the nausea/vomiting comes and goes. Or what makes causes my miraculous moments of health (besides a miracle of God, of course.) Unfortunately, the docs have a hard time writing a prescription for those and are not able to call those directly into Bartell's Pharmacy. :)

Anyway, I'm going to try and play soccer tomorrow... since my health has been so outstanding for half a week already. I'll make sure to let you know how it goes.

Also, for those of you keeping track--yesterday was my 2 year puking anniversary. 9/7/07 was the day that the vomiting all began. (and, I didn't throw up the whole day! Thank you, Jesus!!)

Okay, tons of hugs to you all... and more about all of my fun adventures later.
brelin

woop woop! here we go, here we go!

I just got back from a quick trip to the Tri-Cities to visit my grandma, see a couple friends, and hang out with the fam. While I was there, my mom and I went on a super fun visit to Spokane with my cousins (7th and 9th graders) Tina & Sveta. We tried on silly prom dresses at the Macy's Clearance store, took funny photos of ugly jeans, and drank fancy lemonades. It was amazing.

Since I've been home, I've enjoyed cleaning my house, and spending some time with family and friends. I'm catching up on paperwork, filing lots of papers--including wading through medical records from the last 2 years. (yuck.)

I've also decided that I'm going to clean the carpets this week. I know, it sounds like a real hoot, huh? They are so dirty, and I just want them to be sparkly clean again. So, I'm looking forward to a date with the rug doctor. :)

My tummy is doing fine. My pain has been a bit worse the last week or so, but my vomiting is still gone. I've only thrown up a few times, and I'm still down to just 5 medications. :) Yay! I'm so pumped about my little (huge) miracle.

I'm off to enjoy the sunshine.
love brelin

delicious.

Marcus and I just returned home from the annual "Rismiller Family Vacation." The past few years, this has meant a trip to Sun River--staying together in a giant house for seven days. Most people cringe at the thought at spending that much time with their in-laws. I can say that it was super fun, but I was ready for my comfortable (and quiet) bed by the end of the trip.

While we were there, we had fabulous adventures of every kind! We went on several long bike rides, we went white water rafting, we played in the pool, we went canoeing, we jumped off a rope swing into the river, we had a fun girl's day of shopping, Marcus and I played golf on a rainy day in Bend, and we went out to dinner with his brother and sister & spouses at the Pine Tree Restaurant. The place was amazing. I've always enjoyed the food there, but I don't think I've ever celebrated a scone with honey butter, or a delicious marionberry cobbler so much in my life. The whole week seemed delicious, including the activities I had energy to participate in.

I have remained almost totally puke-free. I had 2 rough evenings while in Sun River. I believe they were in large part to being over-tired and out of my normal "routine", eating foods that were much more rich than normal. (see paragraph above.) I continue to celebrate being puke free, as the 2 days seemed to have been just a little blip in the digestion train. Since I have been home, I have been feeling good again, and have gotten lots of rest. :)

I am really enjoying each moment of health, literally celebrating almost every day! It's such a relief to feel good, and I plan to relish in the goodness--feeling like I have a new lease on life, and trying not to "worry" about what might happens if it comes to an end again. I pray that my vomiting days are truly over forever.

I'm so thankful to God for each moment that I have to play with Marcus. We're enjoying having this time together to remember our love and our marriage don't always have to be centered around talk of bowel movements, or metal bowls filled with puke. It is such a blessing to be living in the "and in health" part of our vows. :) It seemed like we were sort of stuck in "in sickness" part for far too long.

It has been one year, eleven months, and 4 days since I began vomiting. There were times this past couple of years where the pain was so bad I just wanted to die and be with Jesus so that I didn't have to hurt anymore, and on the other hand, there have been moments where we have been filled with such hope, seeing God's hand of providence in it all. We continue to walk the path that God has laid before us, knowing that He is with us each step, guiding our feet, holding our hands when we stumble, and carrying us when we are too weary to continue on our own. Right now, it is a joy to report that we're able to skip down the path toward Him. I'm loving it.

this is my college dance...!

My father-in-law and I were talking about how God's plans are always so much better than our own, and how I was perhaps "tied up" in relationship for a long time so that I was "off the market" so I could meet Marcus, fall in love, and marry him--all part of God's perfect plan. I agreed, thinking that must be it.

Fast forward a few days: I was doing a little car dancing... really busting a move. Marcus turns to me and says, "I just realized why you were still around for me to marry you." I turn down the blasting music and ask, "Why?" He says, "It's your dance moves." Hmph.

The fabulous news is that I FINALLY have enough energy to do some excellent car dancing in addition to my normal daily activities. Oh, and I think I'm developing a metabolism. Not only am I digesting food, but I actually got hot the other day. (I'm famous for putting a sweatshirt on when it's 80.)

Marcus and I went to a healing prayer service this past week at a friend's church. We heard a couple speak who'd been married for 25 years, and they shared their powerful testimony. Their story was such an encouragement to both of us. After being married for just a year and one month, the husband had a massive stroke, leaving him paralyzed and mute. The doctors told him that he had no chance of ever recovering. Over the past 6 months though, God has began to heal him slowly. There are movements in his body, and their faith story was tremendous. After they shared, the wife said a prayer asking that "the power of the Holy Spirit fall down on this place." I felt something come down over me and it was amazing. Later in the evening, two women prayed for me. One of them I know well, she used to be on staff with me at Sammamish Hills. They prayed for Marcus and I, and we walked away with such peace. We're so thankful for this time, so filled with joy and gratitude for the restoration of health and life that is taking place in my body even now. I can feel myself getting stronger with each new day. It is such a blessing that can only be from above.

Please pray for continued health. Thank God for this tremendous blessing, and praise Him for the work that's going on. Celebrate with us, and join us in our joyful shouts and our exuberant car-dancing to our favorite late 90's rap hits! :)

Hugs & Love, b

still no vomiting!

It's been sixteen days! I'm convinced it's a miracle.

I'll be sure to fill you in on the details tomorrow. :)

still puke-free.

For those of you who are counting, it is 9 days now.

And I'm not sure if you want to celebrate with me the foods that I'm eating, but here's a short list of the things that I've digested so far:

1. Raspberries-picked fresh off the vines with my super cute nieces, Maya & Sophie, after a fun girls-only sleepover. During this sleepover, I discovered just how much fun 5 and 7 can be! We drove home with the top down on the Jeep and the music blasting. We giggled, we swam, we colored, we watched the movie "Enchanted", we painted our toenails, we read stories, we kicked a soccer ball, we looked at a huge moth, we tried to scare the huge moth with our stuffed owl beanie baby, we played with a puppy, we picked mini-sunflowers, we went to a farm and picked raspberries, and we ate a LOT of snacks including fruit snacks, brownies, granola bars, popcorn, & cookies--and none of us got tummy aches. :) The only bad part of the sleepover was when Maya punched Auntie Brelin in the eye in the middle of the night... twice.

2. Birthday Cake- celebrating Jim & Tammy's birthdays! This was really fun because we got to have a birthday party! Who loves parties?! I do!! I'm really fun at parties, especially when I don't have to take a bazillion drugs! I have tons of energy for playing and laughing and running and jumping!

2.5. The most delicious brownie of my life...which I just finished eating in the car. It was an Oreo Brownie with Vanilla Frosting. Note: Whoever made this, feel free to make more and deliver some to my home at any time. :)

3. Corn on the Cob-served piping hot with butter and salt. Yum!

4. BBQ Chicken- eaten on the back porch on a sunny summer day with family. Splendid.

5. Bagel with Cream Cheese- toasted, delightful, and served with love.

6. Watermelon, Carrots, Snap Peas, Cantelope- all raw. For those of you who know me well, that alone is a miracle. :)

Honestly, I am living it up. I'm bursting with energy, I'm full of optimism, and I'm praying that my future's so bright I've got to wear shades. :)Cue rockin' 80's track.

Oh, I thought of another "new thing" that I'm doing, I started taking a probiotic supplement called "Align" 14 days ago. Today is my 15th day taking it. Again, I'm chalking my healing up as a miracle, but I'm going to continue doing the things that I'm doing just to be on the safe side. God can certainly use probiotics. I believe I've tried probiotics before, but this seems to be working so we'll celebrate now. :)

Thank you for your continued prayers, for your excitement, and for the joy that you share with us as we celebrate digesting!!

Yay!

brelin

a miracle? oh, and don't drink the water.

I wanted to start off by saying that I absolutely believe in miracles. I think that one might have happened last week. :)

Marcus and I went on a fabulous backpacking/biking/hiking adventure that was a little strenuous and ridiculously exhausting. I threw up all the way there, all 4 miles on my mountain bike, and then the rest of the 3 mile hike into the camping area. Once we got there, we arrived to signage that said, "don't drink the water here. due to mining, the water contains heavy metals, and is unsafe to drink, even after boiling." Well, we were camping there for two nights and could not go without drinking water for 3 days, so we drank the boiled water anyway. We arrived back home on Sunday night. (Marcus is fine just for the record, and I didn't throw up any more than normal.)

Then, miraculously on Tuesday, I suddenly stopped vomiting. Why, you ask? A miracle. God healed me. There is nothing else that I have done differently. I have not been eating anything abnormal, nor have I changed any medications, I have simply stopped vomiting. So, either God healed me miraculously overnight, or perhaps He used the "heavy metal" water to do the trick. Regardless, I have been 7 days now without vomiting! Let me repeat myself.... SEVEN DAYS WITHOUT VOMITING SO FAR!! It is a miracle. I am feeling so good, that I have been able to stop taking my nausea medications completely except one pill in the morning, so I am not sleepy or experiencing the yucky side effects from the meds at the moment.

At the moment, I'm eating regular foods.... even some meat, dairy, grains, fruits, and veggies. I've got all kinds of energy because I'm actually digesting! :) My pain is substantially less than it has been in a couple of years, and I am honestly feeling terrific!! Please pray that this continues indefinitely!!

Thank you God for all of the healing that has taken place in the past week... and I humbly ask that it continue forever. Please Lord, let the vomiting be done forever!! Help me to trust you implicitly, and not to take even one moment of health for granted. Thank you for the joy of this day, and for the healing that has already taken place.

In Your Awesome Name,
Brelin

baseball games with big daddy

There is something special about baseball with Steve-o. I was reflecting on my childhood baseball experiences, and I can remember way back to the Tri-Cities Triplets baseball games when I was pretty little, when they used to fling gummy worms into the crowd during the 7th inning stretch. Perhaps that was the start of my digestive problems. :) While I was in the Tri-Cities this past week, I got to have another baseball "experience" with big daddy. It's not so much about who is winning--rather, it is about what kind of junk food can be consumed, who is there doing the chicken dance, and who can lament about the poor pitching the loudest. I love this good ol' American pasttime.

I had a wonderful time in the Tri-Cities, including lots of fun with my mom. We tackled a sprinkler project (nice work, mom), I pruned some bushes (sorry mom), we did some quality scrapbooking, hung out with my aunt, and we saw a really depressing but good movie (My Sister's Keeper--everyone in the theater was sniffling and crying so we didn't feel too bad).

I got to hang out with my brother and his girlfriend a few different times...which was super fun! I hadn't really gotten to see them much before, so it was nice to spend time with them. We had yummy tacos one night that I even digested!! (yay!) It was fun getting to know Alyssa better, and it's always great to see Andy.

I also got to see Grandma Sanders while I was there. We giggled on the way to the Spudnut shop in the back seat. Steve-o was lamenting about crazy drivers in the front seat when Grandma suddenly realized that she was not wearing her seatbelt. She made a hilarious face, and looked over to me like, help!! So, quickly we tried to get her seatbelt on, while mom and dad continued to discuss the drivers, while we were laughing hysterically.

Overall, I would say that the past couple of weeks my health has improved slightly. I seem to be vomiting slightly less often, but I also think I have been a little less than normal also. We're thinking of going on an overnight backpacking trip at the end of the week for fun if my health continues to hold. Thanks for your prayers!

super slacker

I can't really remember what's been happening during the month of June, but I know that until recently it has involved a LOT of ziplock baggies. In fact, I have managed to work my way through the Costco-size box again. shoot.

I digress.

I think I'm allergic to my condo. I think I'm just joking, but let me unpack that for you. Marcus and I went camping this past week to Alta Lake, which is near Lake Chelan. It was really fun, and a terrific adventure! We woke up to rain hitting our face in the tent at 6 am, because we hadn't put the rain fly on (since it never rains in e-wa.... oops!!) And, I had insisted that we didn't need the umbrella too. oops again. Most of the time that we were there was super sunny and really fun, we swam in the lake, ate s'mores, and played frisbee. The best news, is that while we were there, I started digesting, like 2 meals a day! It was madness!! :)

Then, we got back home, and the next day, I returned to my "normal" vomiting everything again. Rats.

We went to Jim's retirement party yesterday--which was wonderful! I'm so excited for him!! And to top it off, there were phenomenally delicious cupcakes there!

I rolled on over to the Tri-Cities for the week to enjoy some fabulous summer sun. I'm hoping to continue my super digestion while I'm away. I'll let you know how it goes. And a little side note, my schedule is WIDE open while I'm here in the Tri, so if you want to hang out, give me a jingle--we can catch up over a tasty starbucks beverage or a walk. :)

Hugs and continued super prayers for healing!
brelin

the rain in spain.

I try to love the weather here on the west (wet) side of the state, but it's really a struggle. I can honestly say that these past couple of weeks have been absolutely glorious here in Sammamish. It's like God picked up Sammamish, keeping all the beautiful trees, mountains, lakes, flowers, etc, and then dropped it into the middle of eastern WA, allowing us to experience the glorious 80's and 90's. I was in heaven.

I woke up this morning to clouds again, and I'm hoping that it's just a little blip the summer sun that began so early this year. Because it seriously helped me feel a little cheerier! :)

I went to a really cool fundraiser the other night about a non-profit called Krochet Kids. It was started by some guys that graduated from HS in 2004. Can you believe that?! It's crazy to me. The organization is changing lives, empowering women in Uganda, and clearly affecting people here with their amazing story too. Very cool.

People often ask what I do with my time. I'm not sure where it all goes, but I do feel "busy" most days, not "overwhelmed", but "busy". I meet with about one friend per day. I go on at least one walk a day to keep things moving in my intestines. I've been swimming and playing frisbee since it's been sunny. I volunteer with a few different non-profit groups. I rest, and I read, I pray, I journal, and I send cards. Sometimes, if I'm feeling especially terrific, I will work as a sub, but that is very rare--and usually wears me out for several days afterward.

Another thing I try to do with my time is....I try to digest. The doc continues to play around with my meds/dosages/etc. I focus mainly on fluids, and if that goes well, then I try to eat. I hate to say that I've found a combo that "works"--but it seems like when I drug myself very heavily with a particular set of drugs at a particular time, that I am able to keep down some food. The only problem beyond that, is that I'm so drugged that it leaves me really spacey, not able to carry on a conversation--much less work.

Well, I guess that's all for today. I'm out of words, and needing a nap after all this typing! :)
Thanks for continued prayers.
Love,
brelin

home again, home again jiggity jig

here's a funny little story from my life...
i was freaking out about money to Marcus a couple of weeks ago, so I told him that I was going to return to substitute teaching. I thought I would just do a "half-day"--and it would be no big deal. Please keep in mind, I'm still not consistently keeping solid food down, so my energy level isn't exactly "super." Anyway, I got a last minute phone call, and accepted a full-day job in the 4th grade. I didn't actually mean to take the job, I was honestly flustered, and took it on accident. By the time I hung up the phone, the damage was done, and I was headed to the 4th grade. :) Fortunately, I hadn't taken the meds that make me dizzy, so I gulped down some gatorade, and prayed for the best. The kids in the class were awesome, and I made it through the day with flying colors, (except for when I struggled trying to figure out the 4th grade math problem--don't worry, I got it .)

beyond that, not much is going on with us. my health is not much improved. i'm still doing well with liquids. i'm doing ok with solids sometimes. i throw up most days, several times a day--unless i don't eat anything at all. i do better when i medicate myself heavily, but i don't like to take them because i'm not able to drive, and my brain doesn't work as quickly as i'd like it to.

it's super sunny and warm in seattle--which makes everything a little more bearable. i'm in love with the verse from 1 thes. 5:16. it's 3 words long. i think i might get it tatooed somewhere on my body. ALWAYS BE JOYFUL. i'm clinging to these words this week, as i hold on to the promise of God's faithfulness while i keep up my hope for complete healing.

b

no news is good news

I'm doing a bit better. The meds that I'm on have seemed to stabilize me enough for me to keep fluids down regularly, and I'm managing to keep really bland food down pretty consistently now too. Toast is my new best friend. In fact, I'm not sure I really eat much besides that. I'm sliding in some cooked veggies on occassion, and those are a delicious treat. I'm also enjoying applesauce, and cups of tea. :)

I have a lot more energy than I did a couple of weeks ago, but still take naps almost every day. My meds make me tired, and a little dizzy when I am quick to rise, but those symptoms are manageable. I have two big goals for the summer: 1. Stay out of the hospital. 2. Remain unconnected to tubes of any kind. This includes: picc lines, J-tubes, NG-tubes, catheters, IVs, etc. I feel like these goals are really attainable.... and trust me, I've got my eye on the prize. :)

My little sis flies in from South Carolina today. I can't wait to see her! My bro is graduating from U of Idaho this weekend, and we're all in for some serious family fun!! :) It should be terrific! I'm so proud of both of them!

Please pray for peace as I wait on the Lord again (still) for healing. I'm anxious to have more energy again.

Hugs and love,
brelin

all in God's time...

I woke up this morning feeling hopeful. Not necessarily feeling better, health-wise. But, feeling hopeful. This morning, I'm again relinquishing ALL power of my body, my plans, my life--and fully submitting them all to God. It seems that He has perfect plans that He carries out in His perfect time anyway, and I ought to trust Him because things seem to run much more smoothly when I do. So, I'm officially letting God handle it all.

I will continue to seek the wisdom of doctors. I will continue to take my medicines as prescribed, eat as I am supposed to, exercise when I am able to... and love without abandon. I will share joy with others as often as I can, I will smile at strangers, I will spread kindness to others, helping my neighbors, loving my family, and most of all, I will do my best to be an example of God's love to others in all I do.

I'll try not to tailgate, I'll buy someone a cup of coffee, I'll take time for that friend who needs it. I'll encourage others to do the same.

God, I pray that you help me not to be discouraged, frustrated, or angry during this time of illness. Instead, help me an encouragement to others. Help me to be a shining light for you. Give me the energy and the strength to make it through this day, because it is YOUR day. I love you, Amen.

the hospital... again.

So, it's been a while.

Since I went to the doctor, things have been getting progressively worse. The vomiting has been increasing, with little relief. We did manage to have lots of fun in the sun with some friend in Arizona on a trip over spring break on a trip that had been planned for several months. There were just lots of puke baggies involved.

Once we returned home (Easter Sunday), I was completely exhausted, and the pain was pretty out of control. By Monday morning, my vomiting was really bad. I was up all night Monday night, and by Tuesday morning I there was blood in my vomit again.... and not even a sip of water was staying down. We called the doc to see if I could go in for some outpatient IV fluids. He said that he wanted to admit me.

I was admitted to the hospital on Tuesday morning, and they started some IV fluids, pain meds, nausea meds, and blood work. They found that my liver enzymes were elevated. I'm still not really sure what that means... I think it has something to do with one of the lobes of my liver being pressed on by a vein or something, but I'm not sure if they can do anything about it. On Friday, they did a follow-up HYDA (sp?) scan to check something else, and I will check back in with the doc tomorrow.

The good news is that I'm keeping down fluids on my own again. I was released from the hospital on Friday night and am doing okay. I'm on a lot of meds, but am feeling pretty well considering. I have even kept down some toast!! :) My blood pressure is running pretty low, which leaves me feeling a little dizzy. But mostly I'm feeling pretty good.

I'm hopeful that this was just a little flare-up, and I'll be back to feeling terrific in no time!! :)

Thanks for all your prayers... and I'll try to keep my blog better updated.
brelin

a new look

Oh, I just wanted to give credit for the new look on my blog. Here is the link to cute and free blog backgrounds!!
http://simplychicblogs.blogspot.com

the report

I had a good appointment with the doc on Wednesday; seeing him is sort of like seeing an old friend. When I walked into the office, he said, "My day is complete." Apparantly he has several women with ridiculously odd intestinal problems (me being in that category.) He had seen the other 3 in the hospital earlier in the day, so seeing me at the office just topped it off. :)

The doc suggested that I try a couple of different medications. One is a narcotic, and I'm simply not interested in going there yet. I'm hoping that I can get a little better without going down that road. He has a new theory of sorts... something relating to my mast cells, thinking that my intestines are basically allergic to food. Not tomatoes, or dairy, but ALL food. So everytime there is a stimulant, (food), it causes pain and often vomiting. To me, this completely makes sense because when I don't eat, I often feel pretty good. I know that never eating again is not a good solution, so he thought that perhaps I can lessen the problem with an antihistamine. I'll have to keep you posted.

Beyond my guts, I'm doing fine. My shoulder is almost totally better, and the pinched nerve in my foot is doing well too.

I'm enjoying substitute teaching, and am doing most of my jobs in the middle school. :) I love it!! I think my "acceptable noise level" is a little higher than most teachers, but I think that's okay. I figure if the students are working, and not hurting themselves or others, then it's all good. :)

Hugs to you all,
brelin

cry me a river........

For some unknown reason, the JT song is rolling through my head. I believe it is in large part due to the pain that I am currently experiencing in my shoulder and foot. Let me explain...

These past few weeks, there have been BUCKETS of snow dumping each day on the mountain. While my stomach/intestines have been less than stellar lately, I have still mustered up enough energy to embrace the snow in all of it's glory. Marcus and I headed up to Crystal Mountain for some glorious snowboarding conditions a little over a week ago. About 2 pm, I came crashing down the run, managing to bend my arm back a funny way and then land on it. I might have shed a few tears on the hillside while Marcus examined my arm for obvious breaks before I stuck it in my pocket, and headed down to the base. I prayed that God would not let me get carded while I purchased an adult beverage to dull the pain in my arm. Prayer answered. I imbibed, then went home, and then finally on Monday morning (last week), I went into the doc for some xrays. I separated my shoulder, but not "too" bad. He said I can head back up to the hill anytime, as long as I don't fall on my arm. I'll let you know how that goes, we're heading up tomorrow.

Oh, so while I was getting the ol' arm checked out, I mentioned that I had this weird pain in my foot. It turns out that I have a "fluke" thing that "unlucky" people get... a pinched nerve in my foot. The foot specialist gave me a cortizone shot, and I am doing a bit better now. I go in next month for one more shot.

I've been painting a rather "rose-colored" picture of my own health lately, which hasn't been entirely accurate. My vomiting has gotten increasingly worse these past few months. I'm not horrible, and am nowhere near as sick as I was--but I'm not doing nearly as well as I once was. I have an appointment to see the GI doctor on Wednesday, and am praying that he'll be able to provide some sort of treatment that will help get me back on track without drugging me up too much.

Okay, I think that's all to report today. Please pray that the appointment goes well on Wednesday, and that I get return to full health sometime soon.

Hugs,
brelin

the study of Job.

I would like to start out by saying that I LOVE LENT. I know that's a little weird, but I REALLY enjoy doing the Holden Evening Prayer worship service. This year, there is a study of the book of Job going on each Wednesday after worship. I thought I'd check it out tonight, and am so glad that I did. We studied the first 3 chapters, and there are so many things that stuck out.

1. God's power is limitless, while Satan's power is completely limited. In order for Satan to make Job's life miserable, he had to ask permission from God.

2. Job was blameless, and his faith is totally overwhelming. Tons of crap happened to him in the first chapter, and his response was to fall down on his face and worship God. (chap 1:20) I'm totally in awe of Job's response, and pray that mine can be that good. God presents us with choices in the midst of suffering: do we fall down in worship? or do we run away from God?

3. Job's friends said nothing, because "sometimes suffering is too great for words." chap 2:13. Sometimes we don't have to say anything to help others--because just being present with them is enough. Thank you to all of you who have been present with me over the years that I've struggled with my health.

When we're confronted with suffering, we're asked to choose. Do we choose to follow a loving God in the midst of it all, or do we run away from Him in our times of strife?

keep on truckin'

Hi All,
I just started substitute teaching today. It was my first day, and I taught 6th-8th grade health. Ironically, we were talking about medications, and their effects on the body. I had a good laugh to myself. It was certainly an adventure, I was really nervous before I got there, but then it all started going smoothly by the end of the day. Tomorrow, I'll be in a 5th grade class all day at one of the elementary schools. I can't wait.

I had a terrific 30th birthday. We had a rollerskating birthday party which 40 or so people attendend. It was fabulous. On my actual birthday, Marcus took me out for dinner and then we went to the Broadway production of the Lion King. It was magnificent, and really beautiful. Everyone should go see it.

I'm still plugging along with Bible study on Wed morning, and mentoring another student on Wed. afternoons. All are going well, and I'm thrilled with how terrific my 9th grader seems to be doing this semester. If you happen to be reading, you're awesome! :)

Health-wise, I am doing okay. I would say that I vomit most days, but not everything, and not everyday. On the days that I do get sick, it is typically more than once a day... but again, it is not everyday, and certainly not 20 million times a day--so I continue to feel good about my progress. My baseline level is still much lower than before 2007, but I'm adjusting.

Tonight I'm looking forward to a ballet recital for Maya, and then tomorrow is a basketball game for Garrett. Both should be a lot of fun~ :)

Hugs and love to all,
brelin

my latest news.

Hi All,
Thank you to all of you dedicated blog readers out there. I apologize for it being several weeks since my last post. I feel like somehow since my life is more stable medically, it's somehow not as interesting for the general public. Regardless, here is an update.

I just finished my paperwork for getting certified as an Emergency Substitute teacher for Snoq. Valley School District. I'm looking forward to getting started as soon as the state issues me my certificate.

Marcus and I just got back from another vacation. This time we went to sunny southern California. It was 80, sunny and wonderful! We went to the happiest place on earth, Disneyland, as well as Magic Mountain. We also met up with some friends from Sammamish, and watched a friend play basketball for Cal Lutheran. We learned that it's hip to say "T.O." when you're talking about Thousand Oaks.... and T.O. is like a Sammamish that's not in Sammamish.

Healthwise, I have been doing okay. I still vomit several times a week, and these past 3 weeks have been worse than "normal"--or the new normal, anyway. I'm not discouraged, and haven't really noticed a reason why... I'm just reporting so you know. :)

My little sis stayed with us for about a month before she moved out for a new job in South Carolina. She's enjoying it so far, and reports that her internal dialogue is starting to be in a southern drawl. I told her that she's not really one of us anymore.

I'm approaching another birthday, and am sooooooooooooooooo thankful for my much improved health this year. I am so glad that God's healed me, and given me new life and improved energy!! Thank you, God. Woo hoo!!

Hugs,
brelin

still doing awesome

So, I was just talking to a friend on the phone, trying to update them on all the fun in my life... and at the end of the conversation, I figured I had probably update my blog, so that you ALL can be aware of the great things happening!! :)

I continue to be fabulous health-wise. I have been able to stay off all of my meds since sometime in Oct/Nov, and am still feeling wonderful! I have a couple of bouts of vomiting per week, but it's nothing major, and certainly nothing that I can't deal with!

Marcus and I have season passes to Crystal Mountain, and I'm enjoying snowboarding and learning to ski. We've been there 7 times already this season, and are having an absolute blast. Yesterday, while Sammamish was in an angry cloud of darkness and gloom, we were enjoying the summit at Crystal, which was perfectly clear, sunny, and had glorious views of Mt. Rainier. Oh, and did I mention it was warm too? THANK YOU, God. seriously. It rocked.

I continue to wait for God's clear vision about what to do with my life. I enjoyed following the chaplain at Children's Hospital at the beginning of Jan. She was wonderful and her job sounded very rewarding, but I am simply not feeling a huge push from God to head that direction. One reason is that I don't really want to go to school forever (about 4 years full time). I figure that if God REALLY wants me to do it, He'll shove me in that direction, and I will just know that it's the right time and the right place for me.

Until I have a clear vision, I am beginning the process to get my emergency substitute certificate so that I can sub in some of the local school districts. I'm excited about the flexibility that will provide my schedule, and I'm also looking forward to being back with students again.

I continue volunteering with my Young Life group of girls on Wednesdays, and I am enjoying my weekly meetings with a cute girl on Weds after school. It is fun to be walking alongside students in the midst of the joys and struggles they experience.

Hugs, love, and THANK you for your prayers.
brelin

fun adventures in mexico and the snow!

Marcus and I went to Puerto Vallarta at the beginning of this month! We had a wonderful time playing in the ocean, snorkeling at Las Caletas, and riding zip lines that were over a 1/4 of a mile long. It was 87 degrees, and sunny the whole time that we were there!! We soaked up the sun, drank lots of "miami vices" (a delightful mix of pina colada & strawberry daiquiri) and made some wonderful memories. :) Marcus' parents, Jim & Carol, came along with us, and we enjoyed spending lots of time together on the beautiful beaches.

Since then, we have been enjoying the winter wonderland that we call home. It seems like it has been snowing non-stop since we arrived home, and we are loving it!! I drove over to see my sister, Sarah, graduate from WSU on Dec. 13th! We are super proud of her for being a supergenius, and are looking forward to her coming to live with us while she starts a new job in the Seattle area. She'll be joining us sometime at the beginning of January for a couple of months until she finds a place to settle down.

Marcus and I have season passes to Crystal Mountain and have already gone snowboarding & skiing twice. I have decided to pick up skiing after a 15 year respite, and am pretty impressed with myself so far. I only fell 4 times the whole day! :) I have almost fully retired from my job at American Eagle, so that it doesn't get in the way of our snowboarding schedule!! :) I'm down to working just one or two Saturdays a month.

At the beginning of January, I'm hoping to get started doing some substitute teaching. I'll be throwing my name into the pool at Issaquah, Renton, and Snoqualmie Valley school districts. I figure I'll get back to working with kids, and enjoy the flexibility that subbing provides...I think it will be a good fit for right now.

I am still in the midst of discerning God's call on the possibility of chaplaincy and attending seminary. I will be doing a job shadow of a chaplain at Children's Hospital on January 6th--and am looking forward to the clarity that may come after that.

Our Christmas has been wonderful!! So far, we have celebrated with the Rismiller's and the Weakley's. We're looking forward to a spring thaw and then celebrating the Johnson family Christmas too. :)

Lots of love and hugs to you all! We are so thankful for all of you! Merry Christmas!!
brelin

more fun adventures!

Hi All,
It's been a while since my last post, but nothing really has changed. I am still feeling good most days, and enjoying all kinds of adventures again!!

I was able to celebrate Thanksgiving in the Tri-Cities with Marcus, my parents, siblings, and other super fun relatives. We had a great, but short, visit with them, and made it back to Seattle in time for me to leave for a wedding, and Marcus to get to work on Friday am.

The wedding that I was in was for a college friend, Ellen. A couple of us were her bridesmaids, and made the trek to Bremerton for a fun & busy wedding weekend. I made it home exhausted from the adventures on Sunday night. The wedding was beautiful, and it was fun to celebrate God's love in the context of marriage with them... Marcus joined me for the wedding, and we were rocking out on the dance floor. It was reallllllllly fun.

I'm home for Mon & Tues, and then on Wednesday we fly out to Puerto Vallarta for the week. We are VERY excited to lay on the beach, soak up the sunshine, and have fun with Marcus' parents who are joining us for their first time in Mexico. We are pumped to share this experience with them!! And I am so thankful that I'll be allowed to frolic on the beach and in the waves...SO thankful for healing.

I think that's all for me. Love, hugs, and happy belated thanksgiving!!
brelin