longer than first lutheran.

I realized yesterday, that I have been vomiting for a longer period of time than the amount of time that I held my first job out of college. Immediately after graduation, I got a job working as a youth director at First Lutheran Church in Kennewick. It was an amazing job, rather, a calling--where I believe I helped to shape the faith lives of many young people there. I was also young myself, and learned a great deal from that whole experience. In my first month alone, we worked through September 11--and what that meant to us as a nation, as well as young people in a Christian community. I was reflecting back on all the kids and fun that we had just the other day, as I was home visiting with one of the old youth group kids. :) I worked at the church in Kennewick from 9/01-6/04. And, I've been vomiting now 9/07-07/10. Longer. More puking than my first job.

This has caused me to reflect a great deal over the past 24 hours about how I am living now. For a long time, I have been thinking only: "As soon as I get better, I'll be able to affect people this way..." or "When I'm well, I'll be able to return to ministry..." or "When I'm digesting better, I will be sure to do _____." However, I seem to be in this holding pattern of puke. And, while wellness is obviously a good and worthwhile goal, it is important for me to live my life faithfully now. I can't keep waiting for wellness before I allow God to use me. I have to be ready for Him to use me now.

As a society, I believe that we get so caught up in getting ready for what's next. When you're single, you're always looking forward to getting married. Once you're married, people are always asking about when you're going to have kids. I'm not sure what happens after you have kids, because we haven't had any yet, but I'm sure there's something else that you're worrying about... We never really stop to take time and enjoy the phase of life that we're in. We need to rest comfortably in God's love, content in knowing that He has us right where He wants us... and that He'll move us along when He's good and ready.

I'm confident that God will use me and my vomit today. I'm not sure what He's doing in me or through me, but I trust that He's got me right where He wants me to be right now. He's holding me close and reminding me to keep my eyes right on Him.

This past week, I had the opportunity to spend time with my Grandma Sarah in the Tri-Cities. We had a terrific time laughing together and looking through old photos. We also worked hard to re-decorate my mom's backyard while she was away! I think we did a great job!! :)

When I got home, Marcus and I attempted to do an overnight hike to Lake Ann (near Mt. Baker), but ended up coming home after a few hours of hiking around and playing in the snow because I was a little too unsteady on my feet. We did have a terrific time getting down the mountain--Marcus glissading, and me sledding on my bottom with my backpack on. It was a sight to behold. :) We're learning to adjust to life with illness, and sometimes that means coming home even when you really don't want to.

Overall, I'd say I'm doing pretty well. I think the meds are helping me. I am keeping liquids down everyday, and some food down most days. There have even been one or two days when I didn't throw up at all. Awesome. Here's a picture from the hike: