the age of bionic brelin

I'm doing well overall since surgery. I've thrown up about 10-12 times total (which is a vast improvement), and I'm keeping down liquids regularly. The only "problem" comes when I progress past a full liquid diet. For those of you not well-versed in hospital lingo, "full liquid" means, low-fat, runny stuff that you can eat with a spoon. Like, things you could feed your 6 month old. I can tolerate cream of rice cereal sometimes, and frozen yogurt, but not ice cream. I haven't had a full glass of milk, but I've sipped a nonfat latte over a day, and that's stayed down. I don't really like Jell0, but I did have some yesterday and that worked out again. I also keep down some crackers, and once a low-fat string cheese. No success with any types of fruit so far.

The doctor has encouraged me to "be brave" and keep branching out, because I never know when something might work. And just because I throw up one time does not mean that I'm going to spiral out of control into vomit-palooza, where I've been residing for the past several years. The doctor has shared with me that it takes several months to feel the full benefit of the device, and so I should try to not be frustrated. So, I'm doing my best not to be afraid or frustrated.

Here are the answers to the most asked questions:
1. Can you see it?
Yes, you can see it. It's about 2"x 2"x.7" and sits in my lower right abdomen. (near my belly button.) Even if I gain weight, it will probably stick out more on this side.)
2. Can you feel it?
Up until yesterday, I would have answered "no"--but I think I can feel it now. I hope that I can get used it. It's hurting a little, but maybe it's just something else causing the pain.
3. How long is your scar?
They ended up not going laproscopically (making 4 small incisions) because of my extensive surgical history, so I have a now longer scar on my belly--they cut about 3-4" higher. It's healing well. I go see the doctor on Monday to make sure that everything is going okay, and that my labs look good.

Please pray for Marcus, as he is climbing Mt. Rainier this weekend. Pray for his safety, and the safety of those in his group. I'm over with my mom, soaking up the sun while he's away.

Thank you for your continued prayers, I have certainly gained my strength from them this past week and a half. It has been a long and arduous journey, and will remain so for a while, it seems. Please pray that the transition to solid food will be a smooth and easy one. And that I will know when and how to do that. Please give me boldness to try new foods and help me to know when to progress, and when to hold back.

this morning

I am headed off to surgery this morning, but wanted to post quickly before I list to say thank you for praying.

I had an interesting journey getting to "the table" this morning, which I'll have to catch you up on later, which included fainting on a main street in Seattle while shopping with my sister, an ER visit, and then fouled up numbers with my bloodwork leaving the surgery in the balance--but I'm thankful to be having surgery--and I'll be praying with you that this is the answer we've been waiting for.

Thank you for your love, support, and encouragement--and hopefully I'll be posting that I'm feeling great in a couple of days.

Much love.
b

home, and reasonably healthy

PICTURES FROM OUR TRAVELS,

and then a brief overview from our trip...

Gavin found a tiny Hermit Crab


Sophie & Auntie Brelin

Marcus & Brelin at the Kwajalein Yacht Club
(a building with a fridge of beer)

Sunset from Kim & Jon's Patio
(we ran outside from the dinner table one night to take the pic)

Brelin.
photo cred: Marcus
scenery cred: God

Sorry for that lame post the other day, I didn't mean to post it. But, I guess it's good that you knew we were alive. It was honestly all I could muster anyway.

Since we've been home, all I've really done is go to the hospital, get fluids, and then do laundry. I did see a friend for a couple of hours on one afternoon--and that was really fun!! But, I haven't even been down the street to catch up with my family. I've just been sleeping on the couch.

Our vacation was amazingly wonderful. It was paradise. Seriously paradise.

We feel so blessed to have had the opportunity to get away together for such a long time, to rekindle our love for one another; to remember that our life is about more than just shiny silver bowls filled with puke. We were reminded that we can be about more than just surviving until the next IV therapy appointment; about more than just the monotony of each stormy day in Seattle, and even more we can thrive through the stormy moments that seems to compound in our lives.

We were separately so worried about my ability to "survive" the trip, but I made it, and had a really wonderful time. I only had to go to the ER once while on Kwajalein, and the trip only cost us $220 (which is normally about $1200-2550 here), so that was a real blessing. We think that our insurance company will reimburse us for this too.

While we were in Kwaj, we had the chance to snorkel, lay on the beach, Marcus surfed & scuba dived, we ate dinner on the beach several nights, we had a couple of bonfires on the beach, we had worship in the chapel, we traveled to different islands (one by boat- Bigi and one by plane, Roi). We stayed overnight on Roi. I was able to keep up with most of the activity, and even worked out most days with Kim! I had a lot of fun snorkeling, and we even got to see a sea turtle! We got to go golfing, and we rode our bikes everywhere. There are no cars on the island, so you either ride your bike, walk, or run to wherever you're going. It's an amazing place. I'd move there in a heartbeat...except there are no GI docs there, so they won't have me. :) We stayed with Kim and Jon, Sophie and Gavin the whole time we were there, and they were wonderful hosts. I'll tell you about some of our adventures in more detail next post.

We are so thankful for our time together, so blessed that we could be together, to enjoy our time with each other, with family, and be in the sunshine!! We loved it--and it's nice to know that even if I'm not healed completely by this surgery, I can still be fun. God has given me life, and He has given me grace. And I'm so thankful.

Blessings to you all.

Hugs and love,

brelin

We're back!!

a quick post to say goodbye

These past few weeks have been tough...but I've been hanging in there. I've been getting more fluids than normal in preparation for our big trip. I've been going in about once a week to the Infusion Therapy Clinic (I get 2 Liters of fluids over 2-4 hours), and then this past week I went in twice! My period had stopped again, and my weight had dropped a lot again; my pain levels had been worse off than normal, but in spite of all of this, we are sooooooooooo excited to go on vacation!! To say that we are giddy to fly to a tropical island is the understatement of the year.

Just to give you an idea of how miserable the weather has been here, I will present example one: it snowed at our house just 3 days ago. Yeah, actual snow. In the middle of the day. And it stuck, on my freshly potted flowers. I was less than thrilled.

Tomorrow at this time, we will be in Oahu. And then the day after that, we will be in Kwajalein--where the air temp is 90 and the water temp is 85. I'm not sure if I'm ever coming home. Except that the doctors have promised surgery when I get back. So, I guess I'll be home in time for the hospital :) When is that again? June 13? Done. So I guess I promise to be home by June 13. :) Haha!!

Really, we'll be back around the end of May. Please pray for safe travels for Marcus and I, and that our vacation is without incident!! Please pray that I am able to keep fluids down on my own, and that I won't need to go to the hospital there at all. Amen.

Thank you for your love and hugs.
brelin

they said yes, and.... here's the rest of the story.

Sorry for the radio silence, race fans. I've posted a couple of facebook messages, and sent out a couple of text messages. But if you haven't called me, I probably haven't called you either. Sorry. I do appreciate your prayers, warm wishes, and certainly your congratulations. We couldn't have fought this battle without you--and it's not over yet. :) Fortunately, the ugly part with the insurance company part is though. phew. So, here is the deal. About a week ago, I received a phone call from a nice lady from the insurance company and she asked me a bunch of questions. She was not making the actual decision, but she was summarizing my case, and then reporting to the MD at the insurance co who would be making the decision on the second appeal. At the end of her questions, she said, "Is there anything else that you'd like to add?" I said, "Yes." I told her about how difficult my past couple of weeks had been, how I'd almost crashed the cars, how I was not able to stay at home alone because I was having trouble with fainting again, my pain was too much to bear, I was crying all the time, and I felt like I burden to my friends and family...blah,blah,blah..." Anyway, I told her how I've been really feeling. And in the middle of the conversation I burst into tears. I talked about how we've tried every medication, and how I'd been through every procedure known to man: feeding tubes, picc lines, tp, ppn, alternative drug therapies, naturopaths, and how it was so frustrating because nothing ever works. And that despite my good lab results, my quality of life should be taken into account when they are considering my appeal. I also asked that the insurance MD speak directly to Dr. Patterson (my GI doctor.) He's been wanting to do this from the beginning....so I'm not sure why this didn't happen until now...? Anyway, it was Dr. Patterson's speech that pushed them over the edge. The insurance company approved the 2nd appeal, and I have 6 months to have the surgery done. Since our trip to the South Pacfic is already booked, we decided to go through with it, and I'll be having surgery when I get back sometime the first week of June. We'll be gone most of May. The doctor has cleared me for the trip, and has told me to have a great time!! I'm going to be getting fluids before I go just to be on the safe side, and then I think we're going to try and mail some there just in case I need them once I'm there. My sister-in-law is a nurse, and there is also a hospital on-site in case I do have a problem...so, here I come amazing, sunny beach!! Love and hugs, and thanks for the prayers!! Keep 'em coming, this time for COMPLETE HEALING BY MID JUNE-- brelin

they said...

YES!!

please be praying.

The decision is being made regarding my appeal sometime in the next 72 hours. Please pray that they will say "yes." And that we won't have to move onto standing in front of the City of Renton board, because it won't even come to that. The MD from the Insurance Company will simply realize that my quality of life is poor enough that it's worth it to try the surgery. And that I can get surgery when I get back from the South Pacific. And that we will have an amazing time without incident while we are there, and that we won't have any medical complications whatsoever. And when we arrive back in Seattle, the surgery will be flawlessly executed, and I will be feeling a million times better. And I won't need medications any longer, and I won't be in pain any more. And I won't struggle like I do now. And we'll be able to have beautiful, healthy babies. Amen.

another day, another dollar?

Well, the main reason for no posting, I guess, is that there has not been anything really interesting happening. The past month has been full of good snow, so we've been doing lots of snowboarding and skiing at Crystal. We took a quick trip to the Tri-Cities, but were so busy the whole time we were there that we only saw family members. And then we got back, and I was so exhausted from the trip that I literally slept on the couch to recover for three days straight.

I have been having a hard time with depression lately. My mood is a difficult thing to conquer when I feel "stuck"--which is mostly what I've been feeling a lot of lately. We've had to completely back off of having kids, as we have learned that it's going to be IVF (in vitro fertilization), miraculous birth, or no baby for us. And, as far as the surgery for the gastric pacemaker goes, I'm sick, but just not quite sick enough. Let me explain...
The insurance company basically has 5 categories that you have to "fit" in, in order to qualify for the surgery. I am now sick enough in 4 of the 5 categories, but my heart is still doing quite well. Normally, I would think we could just celebrate that my heart is healthy and move on. However, the insurance company seems to think that my heart should begin to have problems before I warrant the surgery. Are you annoyed? Because we are.

Anyway, the latest and greatest news about the board meeting on the 24th of March was actually a false alarm, because we can't submit our case to them before we have exhausted all of our appeals with the insurance company. And we still have one more appeal for them to deny before we can approach the city board. So, again, we wait. And, wait. Ugh.

I did go in to see the GI doctor on Monday morning (two days ago), and had a nice chat with him. My bloodwork is off again. This time my liver enzymes are elevated and my potassium is low. Also, my kidneys have been hurting. I had a follow-up ultrasound yesterday to see what was going on with my liver and kidneys, and my exam was normal....so the elevated liver enzymes remain a mystery.

I did receive 2 liters of IV fluids with potassium and didn't have to pee at the end, so apparently I was a little dehydrated. I didn't even notice it...I guess that could have been causing the kidney pain for sure. *sigh* I'm feeling a bit better today after my fluids. Oh, and it's sunny and warm in Seattle today. YAY for vitamin d!! The best part of the trip to Seattle and the hospital yesterday was that I got to see my step-sister, Alyson. It'd been forever since we'd seen each other--so it was really nice to catch up. She's almost done with her dissertation and then she'll be DR. ALYSON. Crazy.

In other news, Marcus and I are going to the South Pacific! I can hardly wait!! We are going to visit Marcus' sister, Kim and her husband, Jon, and our niece & nephew in the Marshall Islands. We are SOOOOOOOOO excited. It's 85 degrees everyday and the water temp is about 75. There is surfing and snorkeling to do, and to get there you have to fly in and out of Oahu--so we thought we'd see the sights there, since we'd be there anyway. Marcus is beginning a scuba class next week just to prepare for the visit. We're so excited to see them, and to find the sun for so many days. We'll be on the island for almost 3 weeks, and then on Oahu for another 4-5 days... So. Excited. Woot woot!!

I think that's all we've got to report. We're thinking about getting a puppy when we get home. We're sort of becoming that stereotypical thirty-something couple who really want a child but might just get a dog instead to tide us over until the time is right.

Please pray that the insurance company does not deny this final appeal. Or that if they do, the city board will approve it. And if all else fails, we can find a nice attorney who will cover the case and be nice to us and figure out how to help us that way. Oh, and that after all that, the surgery will actually work. And that I'll be healed completely. Forever. Amen.

Thank you for your virtual (and real) hugs, for your cards, phone calls, facebook messages, emails, and all the ways that you remind me that you care. It really does help me remember that life is worth living, and that I'm not alone in this journey. I'm so blessed to call you my friends. (PS I'm crying in Starbucks as I write this. So embarrassing.) Anyway, I love you. And, thanks.

no surgery (again)

We just found out yesterday (for sure) that the insurance company has denied the appeal that we filed. They are going to do a medical peer review (where my doctor talks to the insurance company), but no one is really sure that it'll do any good.

The only silver lining in the cloud is that the City of Renton is actually the one who controls the pot of money that is managed by HMA (the insurance company). So there is some way for Marcus to work directly with the people from HR, and then theoretically they can override the decision made by the insurance company. We are also planning to contact a lawyer, and see if there is something they can do. We are definitely treading on new ground here, and I'm feeling a little backed into the corner.

I know that God has a plan, and that His plans are perfect. I totally get that He is fighting in the trenches with me, but I'm just tired of fighting. Why can't everyone just do the 'right thing' in this situation? Ugh.

Anyway, please pray for my bad attitude, and pray that my frustration subsides. I have been going back and forth between bursting into tears, and laughing about the dumb people that make decisions in our world. :)

On a cheerier note, Marcus and I are celebrating our 6th anniversary tomorrow. Time sure flies when you're having fun! It's also been more than 1/2 our marriage that we've been battling this stupid pukemonster. The good news is that we are more in love than ever.

Thanks for your prayers, love, and words of encouragement in cards and messages. We're thinking and praying for all of you too!

Love, b

no surgery.

We have no new information.
The insurance company has still not approved or denied the appeal. We are irritated, to say the least, but have not sought out any outside help (from attornies, etc) We're hoping that the insurance will make a decision soon, and my GI doctor though the best bet would be for us to somehow get the doctor at the insurance company to speak directly with my physician. He was hopeful that they'd hear him out, and then approve it. I'm not quite sure how to make that happen, but I'll sure do my best to figure it out. Beyond that, there is no real news with us.

My application has been deep sixed at the surgeon's office, but I was reassured that the minute we hear from insurance, the surgeon's office would get the surgery scheduled within a week or two.

The only positive news coming from all this waiting is that it's FINALLY snowing in the mountains!! Hopefully, I can go skiing and snowboarding when I'm not too tired/in too much pain/puking too much.
YAY!! :)

Marcus has been sick this last week with a low-grade fever, aches, super tired, and congestion. Please pray that I don't get it, as it would really wipe me out, and probably dump me into the hospital.

We're hoping to go on a trip to see some family in the South Pacific in May. We couldn't be more excited to see them and lay on the beach in the 80 degree weather. Awesome.

My book/devotional has 30 entries now. Be looking for it in your inbox before March 9 (which is Ash Wednesday) this year, and the beginning of Lent. :)

Hugs and love to all.
b

waiting...and waiting...and waiting.

So, I'm sure that many of you are aware of my quickly approaching surgery date of 02/23. That being said, I think it's almost time to give up on that date, and pray that the next surgical date might be a bit more meaningful. I spoke with the doctor again today, and the insurance company has still not made a decision on my case. They've come back to the doctor twice since last Thursday, asking for more lab work. I'd had it done, so they were able to send that information on to the insurance company again. The ball is back in their court, as we WAIT for them to make another ruling.

People often ask what I fill my days with. It's hard to explain, usually. I feel busy. Even when I'm too exhausted to get off the couch, my days are full and emotionally, physically, and mentally consuming. What am I doing, you ask?

Waiting.

I'm waiting for healing to happen. I'm waiting for that medicine I just took to kick in, hoping that it will bring some relief. I'm waiting to see how long it will take that glass of milk, or the hot tea that I drank, or the peas I tried, or the cereal I just ate to come back up. I'm waiting to see if it will be hours from now, or just a couple of minutes. I'm waiting to hear from the doctors about what to do next. I'm waiting for the nurses to call me back and answer my questions about swollen fingers and protein imbalances, about constipation, abdominal pain, and vomiting. I'm waiting to hear if I should go to the ER of if the infusion therapy clinic will do the trick this time. I'm waiting for the insurance company to finally figure out that I'm sick enough to have surgery. I'm waiting to finally be healed. I'm waiting for a child. I'm waiting to see if the housing market will improve. I'm waiting to see if I'll ever be healthy enough to return to work. I'm waiting to plan trips, and think about going back to school, and thinking about even one week from now, because I'm just not sure how I'll be feeling, or if I'll have enough energy to do the thing that I planned. Mostly, I'm waiting to feel better. Any kind of better. I'm waiting for the day that I can wake up and not hurt anymore. Or at least, waiting for the day when I don't vomit all day long.

I guess that's what I'm doing.

I'm sorry this entry is a little depressing. I'm not feeling depressed. I'm feeling optimistic about the future and all that it holds. I just wish we could get on with it.

I also think that it's absurd that an insurance company has the right and/or ability to decide ANYTHING about patient care. Since when does some bureaucrat have the authority to make decisions about MY HEALTH?!? Don't get me started... Ugh.

no news, really

I wanted to write to let you know that there is nothing really new with us.

I went in last week for another blood draw, and have not heard any results from that yet. My phosphorous and BUN was checked with this blood draw. BUN tests the amount of nitrogen in your blood, and your urea can either filter it well or not. If the BUN is high or low, it's indicative of a problem in your kidneys, in my case, most likely due to dehydration. They also checked my phosphorous. Low levels mean dehydration. High levels mean kidney failure. I'm assuming they think that mine will be low on both accounts. I'm not sure what they found, nor have I heard any more news about the appeal with the insurance company. And, so we continue to wait.

I'm not feeling like I need to be rushed to the hospital regularly, so that is good. We've been trying to get up to go skiing/snowboarding once a week or so. Marcus and I are doing our best to start eating more healthy foods too. I'm trying to quit having "candy" as my main food group, and have gone back to yoga class after a two month break. Marcus is back to lifting weights, and I think it's safe to say that we're feeling a little better. I'm still puking all day, but now more nutrient dense foods. Hopefully that is good overall. :)

We're off to Whistler for the weekend with some friends. It should be lots of fun.

Thank you for all your prayers, love, emails, and cards. It's nice to know that so many are still praying 3 1/2 years later.

We treasure your words of encouragement, and pray along with you that this nightmarish journey will be over soon.

I'm loving Psalm 5:1-2 the last couple of days:
Listen to my words, Lord, consider my lament.
Hear my cry for help, my King, and my God,
for to you I pray.
In the morning, Lord, you hear my voice;
in the morning, I lay my requests before you and wait expectantly.

I know He hears them all, and pray along with you that His answer comes quickly.
brelin

hanging in there.

I'm feeling a lot better emotionally about everything today. We had put so much hope into this surgery quickly ending the physical pain that I've been enduring, but apparantly God had a different time table that He's working on.

Yesterday I was able to go skiing with our family (& friends, Jon & Tammy). I made it about 4 hours, which was awesome. It was super sunny, clear skies, and we got to see Mt. Rainier, Baker, Adams, & Stuart. It was gorgeous and lots of fun to get off the couch.

The other day I couldn't stay awake at all. I only managed to stay awake for about an hour at a time, so it was nice to be able to get out and feel okay for a couple of hours. I'm still not really sure if I'm fighting some kind of virus, or if I'm just worn out from life.

I'm going in for more bloodwork today, and my GI doctor is working with the medtronic staff (who make the gastric pacemaker device) to get going on my appeal process to the insurance company.

They have re-scheduled me for surgery on 2/23, pending insurance approval. And so we wait again, hoping that this is the door God is opening, and that THIS is the time that He has ordained for healing.

I'm holding on to these verses in James 1:2-5, 12. I hope they'll be a blessing to you as well...
Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing.
If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given to him.
Blessed is the man who remains steadfast under trial, for when he has stood the test he will receive the crown of life, which God has promised to those who love him.

another bump in the road

I just got off the phone with the insurance company.
They have denied my claim.
"It is not medically necessary for you to receive gastric stimulator because you are not showing enough signs of malnutrition. It has been reviewed by the nurse and the doctor at the insurance company."

The next step is for us to write a letter of appeal, and for my GI doctor to also write a letter of appeal, stating why it is important for me to receive this surgery.

To say that I am feeling frustrated and discouraged would be the understatement of the year.

And my cries go up...

...How long, O Lord, how long?

02/07/11

That is the date that is currently set for surgery. The insurance company has still not approved the procedure, but the doctors are hopeful that there is a light at the end of the tunnel, and that we will be able to proceed with the surgery on that day.

On that date, the team of doctors will be placing a gastric neurostimulator, also called a gastric pacemaker. It seems that all things are coming together well for this to happen, and I am definitely looking forward to the surgery taking place.

The team of doctors will attempt to enter my belly laproscopically (with small incisions and a camera), but the surgeon doesn't think that he'll probably be able to complete the surgery that way, due to all of the scar tissue in my body. Scar tissue is often a bit like a spider's web, making it difficult to navigate through. It helps me to think of it like those scenes in Mission Impossible where they have those laser beam security systems and the bad guys are trying to steal the diamond. Just one wrong move, and the whole room erupts with noise as the alarm goes off. It's pretty similar to my guts--if they nick the scar tissue at all, things would be much worse--and infection could erupt throughout my abdomen. If they are not able to proceed laproscopically, the doctor will enter through the scar that I already have, and perhaps make it a little higher up, so that he can see my stomach really well to place the stimulator wires.

While they have me open, the surgeon is hoping to "take down" (aka: remove) scar tissue that might be causing problems throughout the belly. They are not going to make any incisions larger than they need to, but they also want to make sure that while I'm opened up that they don't miss anything important. There is also a chance that they will place another J-tube (like the one that I had in 07/08) so that I could do some tube feedings at night while I recover from surgery, and just as back-up in case I don't respond to the gastric pacemaker right away.

My pre-albumin levels are borderline low (normal is 20-40, and mine is 19). Pre-albumin measures your overall nutrition. They are planning to repeat my blood work closer to surgery, and then make the decision about whether or not I need the feeding tube placed again. If it is decided that I do need one, they will be able to place that at the same time as they are doing the other stuff. I'm praying that I don't need it, as it is very uncomfortable, and increases my risk of infection.

Please pray along with us:
1. That the surgery goes well, and that the surgeons will be wise, and their hands will be steady. We are praying that God will guide them directly to the things in my body that need to be fixed, and that He will use them in order to restore my body to full health.

2. That I will recover from surgery quickly and without incident--that there will be no complications, that I will get adequate rest in the hospital, that I will have a terrific care team with caring nurses and doctors, and tender-hearted, compassionate staff. We also pray that my pain will be managed effectively throughout my stay, and when I return home as well.

3. That this is the answer. On 02/07/11, it will have been 3 years and 5 months to the day since this horrific battle of daily puking has been raging on. But it has been 13 years since my story of abdominal pain, nausea, and vomiting has been going on. Please pray that we can rejoice, and that my story might be one of miraculous healing and health restored completely.

4. Above all else, we pray that God's voice might be heard through my voice and that God's story might be seen in my story. We ask that God's faithfulness might be known throughout the world, and that many lives will be changed forever by the goodness of His love, and by the power of His mercy and grace.

We love you all, and covet your prayers. I'll be at Swedish Hospital for surgery, and my docs are Dr. Louie and Dr. Patterson if you'd like to pray for them specifically. I will be staying inpatient anywhere from 1-7 days depending on how quickly I recover from surgery, and what kind of things they end up doing while I'm in there. We welcome hugs, prayers, and visitors. We'll try to keep the blog updated as well.

Hugs,
b

poop- no longer taboo

In the land of gastrointestinal problems, lots of things are no longer disgusting to talk about during dinner--and daily, it just seems natural to update one's spouse and immediate family on the bowel movement of the day--or month.

Without further ado-do (ha!), I am pleased to report that I finally went to the bathroom. I finally went #2 for the third time in a month. My body is very crampy, and still feels incredibly full (I've had weight gain this month, but the docs have attributed it to not going.) To finally go, even a little, is so refreshing. Thank you all for praying when you received my slightly disparaging text message.

It seems that the insurance company has still not managed to get their act together and approve my surgery--so, we wait. I had my pre-op appointment last Wed, and the surgeon seems very nice. He's done this surgery before, so while it is new to Swedish Hospital, all parties in the operating room have had some experience. And so we wait. The docs are now hoping surgery can take place either 2/2 or 2/7, depending on the insurance company and when they make their decision.

I've had a little more energy the last couple of days, and got to go up skiing yesterday. This morning it's sunny, and so I went for a jog with Marcus. It's nice to not be curled up on the couch all day long. I've also been working on writing my devotional, and hope to have it ready to test drive for family members & close friends at Lent. I've gotten to see lots of friends lately, and have appreciated the grace that everyone extends to me as far as being flexible when I'm just not feeling good and have to bail at the last second.

I think that's all for today. Please continue to pray that the insurance company moves quickly on their "yes" decision, and that the surgeons will have great wisdom, and work with no complications during surgery. Please pray that my recovery will be complete, and my health totally restored. I'm pretty sure God can handle all that. :)

Sending hugs your way--
b

the update

Well, it seems that your prayers may be working. (FINALLY!!)

The doctors have gotten all their ducks in a row, and are currently working on bugging the insurance company until they say "yes" to the surgery. The hospital board approved the surgery, and I have a pre-op appointment on this coming Wednesday, and will hopefully go in for surgery on Jan. 24 or 25. (YAY!!)

Please pray that this surgery is the answer. Lately, I've been feeling a little anxiety about this procedure. Marcus and I are not worried that the surgery will go wrong, or that something might get worse, we're just concerned that I might not improve--leaving nothing to hope for. Please pray that we can trust God implicitly that THIS is the answer.

Pray for immediate healing, and the opportunity to see God's hand in and through this entire process.

I've been doing a bit better the last week...I've been able to get off the couch, and even went skiing one day with my nephew, Marcus, and his dad. We had a great time!!

Thank you for your love and support, and hold us tightly in prayer.
brelin

mini health update, and a little good news

Hi All,
This past week has been a good one for me in the grand scheme of things. THANK YOU for your faithfulness in prayer, as I have totally felt God's presence much greater, which has, in turn, given me the strength and hope that I needed to get out of my medical (& emotional) funk.

The past couple of days, I have had much better energy, and I even went SKIING yesterday with my nephew,Garrett; hot fireman husband, Marcus; and my father-in-law, Jim. We had so much fun, and my little nephew was kickin' butt on the mountain, doing an amazing job skiing. :)

I don't have much to report health-wise. My dizzy spells seem to be less frequent at the moment, which has been a welcome relief for me (and my family too. :)) I am not feeling like I need to have someone with me at all times for safety (phew). The vomiting continues, and my fluids are running a little low, but I feel like I've made it through the really "rough" patch for now.

The good news for the day: My surgery was approved by the hospital board! (praise God!), so now I'm just waiting on my insurance company to approve, and then we can get the gastric stimulator hooked up in my guts.

Please pray with me:
1. I'm going to be praying long and hard about getting another J-tube (feeding tube to my intestines) placed at the same time as the stimulator is put in. I absolutely HATED that tube, as it was painful to receive the tube feedings, and it was just uncomfortable to have sticking out of my body...mine ended up ripping out multiple times, but didn't come all the way out--just enough to hurt really bad. Please pray that God will make it completely clear to me about what I should do in this situation. Let Him know that I'd prefer to learn by someone just telling me, as opposed to making me sicker to help me figure it out. :)

2. That the insurance company says "yes" to the surgrey soon.

3. That I can continue to feel good enough to keep doing fun things (like shopping, skiing, yoga, and working on my devotional.)

4. That we can find a home church out here in Enumclaw to get connected and find some fun friends. (we are still loving living out here, but would also love to meet some friends that live close)

5. Also, please pray for our friends, Nancy and Kendyl. Both have cancer (kendyl-in the last phases of chemo, nancy-just beginning the process). Please pray for peace, rest, energy, minimal side effects and miraculous healing. :)

Thank you all for keeping up with me and my life. We covet your prayers, and I adore the encouraging notes that you send!! They really do perk me up. :)

Love.
brelin

specific prayers

Hi All,
It's been a rough 48 hours to say the least. I'm doing my best to manage my pain at home, as I REALLY don't want to be admitted to the hospital. I know my limits, and I'm currently teetering on the edge of needing to go.

My spirit is weak, my body is exhausted, but I'm doing my best to keep a rosy outlook on a situation that seems a bit hopeless at the moment. I told Marcus we should book a trip somewhere warm, so that I have something positive (and sunny) to look forward to. My mom has encouraged me to get back into my writing, as that will give me something to focus on instead of feeling like garbage all day.

I go see the doctor again this afternoon, and hopefully my lab work will show exactly what is amiss in my little body.

Here are the things that we are praying for specifically:
1. The hospital board at Swedish approves the gastric stimulator (pacemaker) surgery asap.
2. That my insurance company agrees to the surgery asap.
3. That my pain gets under control asap, and that I am able to maintain (or improve) my current level of health, so that I can avoid being admitted.

Thanks all,
b