The past couple of weeks have been trying, to say the least. Immediately upon returning from California, I came down with the stomach flu. If you can imagine, it was awful. My normal days include puking and sometimes crying from cramping and pain. With the flu, I got dehydrated twice as fast, and went back to just puking my own stomach juices--without eating or drinking a thing. I was forced to pop pain pills one night, which I really don't like to do, and didn't really venture off the couch for a week.
Also, I am still in need of a port. A port is permanent access to your veins. Its a long, thin tube that goes in the lining of the vein, keeping it open, and then a small plastic part (about an inch long) gives access to the tube. The funny part of this story is that last week or maybe two weeks ago, I was sent to a Dr. F in the Vascular Surgery Dept of the hospital. After having a venous ultrasound, and a long consult visit, I was placed on his surgical schedule for 10-27--until yesterday afternoon when I received a phone call from him.

The gist of the conversation was that he thought I ultimately needed to get a port put in. He just didn't want to do it. His reasons varied from, "I don't think you really need one, even though it seems like it's medically indicated," to several alternative abdominal ideas--most of which included surgery or naso-gastric feeding. All of these things the GI docs have already tried, and I haven't tolerated--except for the one surgical procedure that he recalled being done "about 30 years ago"--which they have since stopped doing because it didn't work. I was irritated by his suggestions to say the least. Why does he think he's such a genius--able to solve my 14-year-old intestinal problems after talking with me for an hour?!? Sheesh.

So, I have an appointment with a new vascular surgeon. Although Dr F works in the vascular surgery department, he was only a general surgeon. Ugh. The silver lining of this story is that Dr F will not be touching my subclavian veins. Ever.

So, my next consult is on 10/24-with hopefully a surgery on 11/1. I'll be sure to keep you posted.:)

One of my great friends shared this lesson with me the other day...
"Try to stop yourself when your thoughts get too far into the future. When that happens, you are no longer thinking of the strength that God will give you to get through that difficult situation--and you don't factor in the provisions that He will make for you between now and then."

The lesson was amazing, and I'm doin' my best to stay in the moment, to live in the present with the grace, strength, and wisdom that God provides now.

Hugs and love,
B