i think i'm on the upswing!

These past few days have been filled with moments that fill me with great hope... like, I have been keeping clear liquids down on a more consistent basis. Not everyday... and not necessarily consecutive days in a row... but more consistently. YAY for God! And, I have also been keeping some food down sometimes! My biggest victories have included keeping down half of a toasted cheese sandwich and a piece of garlic bread. Those were on two separate days several days apart. Both were very tasty and fabulous!!

My pain levels are over all better, and I'm looking forward to heading to the doctor sometime soon and asking if I can get the picc line out. Maybe not this week, but maybe in a few weeks. And then I'm hoping to get on a sunny vacation somewhere with my really fun husband! Yay!!

This morning I have to go to the dentist. I'm really not looking forward to it. I haven't been to the dentist since this whole debaucle began... I'm sort of concerned about throwing up on the dentist while they are cleaning my teeth and I'm also worried that they might find that I have ruined all of my teeth from throwing up 90 billion times since September. Hopefully, they'll just tell me that I should keep brushing and not worry about coming to see them.
I will keep you posted. :)

My friends, Josh and Amy, had their baby in Florida yesterday... and so I wanted to do a long distance shout out of CONGRATS and WE LOVE YOU and are praying for you!! Congrats on your beautiful baby boy named Bryce Kayden. He & his mommy are both doing great. Good job to everyone and yay for God for keeping everyone safe!

I think that's all for today!
Much love!!

fabulous

I'm not really feeling fabulous, sorry for giving anyone a sense of false hope. :) I just got back from the Tri-Cities last night. My parents did the "great Brelin swap" with Marcus in Ellensburg last night at 1900 hours at Starbucks. I told them that next time I want to come visit, I am planning on driving myself over, they replied with, "We'll see." I thought that once you turned 29 you didn't ever have to hear anyone say that anymore. Oh well. :)

I had a fabulous Easter with my family. I got to see my whole family (except my brother who is a dork and didn't come home), I got to worship with my family (except my brother---please see note above), and we all had a fun time. AND everyone lived happily ever after.

I had a great good Friday. Since then, I have not been doing so well. I'm not keeping down much anymore... I think that some clear liquids are staying in, more than before--but not enough to have my picc line removed, I don't think. I will be seeing the doc sometime the end of this week or the beginning of next week, and we'll see what he says.

My going away party at Sammamish Hills is April 13, so be sure to mark your calendars. :)

Oh, and please continue to pray for clear liquids to stay down so that I can get my picc line out really soon!! :) You can also pray that God opens the doors that He's like us to walk through.

Yay Jesus!
brelin

really Good Friday

It is a rather somber day, this being the day that when we remember Jesus dying on the cross for the forgiveness of our sins... It is also a time that we celebrate because we are free from the sins of death that once had power over us. Thank you, Jesus!!

I am also celebrating today because I kept down some of a tall, nonfat latte from Starbucks this morning. It is my first "not clear" liquid that has stayed down...and I am thrilled. Thank you, Jesus!!

That's all for today!
Keep those prayers coming!
Brelin

more new meds!!

Once upon a time, there was a beautiful girl named Brelin. She was born on February 25, approximately 29 years ago and was baptized shortly after in a fabulous, fiery red dress. Her good Lutheran grandmother was horrified that a child could be baptized in such a color. Her mother smiled, and said, "it's the fire of the Holy Spirit shining through her." After the baptism, as the baby girl was presented to the congregation, Brelin puked on the pastor. Was this a foreshadowing of future events? One may never know...

(That was a true story)

And, now onto more recent events...
This past week has been rather interesting. I am personally filled with more hope than I have been in the past. I am hopeful that there will be an end to this ridiculous amount of vomiting.

Here are the good things that have happened this week.
1. I kept down a handful of Sun Chips, an 8 oz Shirly Temple, 1 piece of toast, 1-8 oz glass of water, 32 oz of clear liquids, and some jelly beans. Those have all happened on different days.

2. I got to spend the whole week with Marcus because he didn't have to work. We got our house really clean and organized, and I'm happy about it.

3. I'm getting less tired and less confused on the medicines than I was before. (praise God!)

Here are the things that are kinda good and kinda just interesting...
1. If I only drink clear liquids, I'm not really throwing up, so I'm getting hydrated, but I'm not really getting any calories either.

2. If I'm eating food, I'm throwing up, but a small amount of the food is getting digested, so I'm getting the calories...but I'm not getting hydrated.

3. So.......... I'm not really sure what to do.

I just started on two more medicines today.

Carafate and Xanax. One is to coat the lining of the stomach, the other is an anti-anxiety that is absorbed in the intestines. Hopefully it will continue to calm down the gut. I like it when everything is calm in there. I will continue on Glycolax (a laxative-to keep things moving in my slow large intestine), Topamax, and Nortriptyline.

I started cleaning out my office at the church today. It was super sad to start packing up all those memories. I would have been there 4 years in June... I'm so thankful for all of the people at Sammamish Hills... for their prayers, support and love.

Hugs,
brelin

the new nerve meds

I started on some new meds on saturday evening, a fabulous treat of topamax and nortriptyline. Topamax is used to treat migraine headaches, seizures, & chronic pain. Nortriptyline is used to treat depression & chronic pain. My docs are using them to treat chronic pain, and they're hoping that it will help my nausea, help me sleep, and calm my nerve pain. As I filled them, the pharmacist warned that I would wake up feeling like I was "in a fog".... Little did I know, this "fog" would last almost all day. :) I just start to wake up about 4 in the afternoon, just in time for my afternoon pain session to set in, and then I spiral downward into my evening slump. Shoot. Hopefully, I will get used to these new drugs soon. :)

I have set a little goal for myself. It is to start keeping down clear liquids by myself. I REALLY want to get rid of my picc line before Marcus' birthday (at the end of April). In order for me to get my picc line out, I have to be able to keep down liquids on my own. So, that's my plan. I'm not sure how to go about it quite yet, but I'm going to do it. I'll keep you updated on my progress. :)

I guess that's all the updates for now. Much love to you all, and thanks for the prayers! Happy birthday to Carol & Sophie today!
Love, brelin

energizer bunny

I'm not sure how many of you remember those ridiculous Energizer bunny commercials from the late 80's and early 90's. There was this slightly annoying bunny that was banging on a drum, while rolling on wheels into some ridiculous situations. The announcer guy in the would cut in to say, "nothing outlasts the energizer, they keep going and going and going." That's sort of how I feel about my vomiting this past week. I might just be the energizer bunny, and instead of playing the drum--my talent is throwing up. I hope I can find a new talent soon. :)

Marcus and I had our 3 year anniversary on Wednesday! We had a super fun & very full day! We went down to Westlake Center and did some shopping, and then walked around downtown--contemplated eating some delicious donuts from Pike Place--but then decided against it. We went to Thai Tom for lunch--which may be the most delicious food I've ever tasted!! It's located in the U District and it's totally worth the drive to enjoy it. After lunch, I was pretty tired, so I had a little nap, and then we went and played mini golf in the sunshine at the Newcastle Golf Course. The views from there are totally gorgeous, and it was the perfect end to a wonderful day!

As for the medical news, there is no real update. I go to see the GI doc today and talk about getting on the drugs that target my nerves and perhaps anti-depressants. The combination of the two may help relieve the pain even better, so we'll discuss with the doc today.

God has blessed me with lots of fun adventures this week, and also terrific friends that have surrounded me and poured their love into my life. I'm hanging on to the verses in Romans right now...
In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express. And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints in accordance with God's will. -Romans 8:26-27

home again... :)

Hi All,
Just wanted to let you know that we have made it home safely from Minnesota. I go to see the Seattle GI doc on Friday, and will hopefully be able to start the new medications that day. The Mayo clinic docs have written up a "care plan" for the docs here, and the hope is that they will stay in touch with each other until we get the disease to a more manageable place.

Thank you for your continued prayers for peace and patience, as we continue through this journey--trusting that God is with us each step of the way.

We love you all, and truly appreciate your love, support and encouragement!
brelin

a diagnosis from Mayo

Hi All,
Thank you for the prayers and love that you have shared with Marcus and I these past (rather challenging) months.
On Friday afternoon, I was able to consult with the GI doc at Mayo again, and review the test results. The news was good, but certainly not ideal.

1. I have a condition called "visceral hypersensitivity". This falls under the spectrum of Irritable Bowel Syndrome, and the doc says that I "carry a heavy burden of the disease". There are nerves in the gut (stomach, sm. intestine, lg. intestine) that help the digestion process, and mine are totally revved up, making my body freak out and vomit everytime there is a stimulus (food, water, etc.)

2. It is good news that I don't have gastroparesis or something else along those lines, as the prognosis for folks with that type of disease is much more difficult. I will not die from visceral hypersensitivity (clearly good news :))--I just might not feel that great right now.

3. The hope is that I will respond to medication which will target the nerve endings in my gut, calm them down, and I can return to a new "normal" life. The drugs they use for this include lyrica, remeron, and topomax. (I will not be taking lyrica, since I am allergic, but the new prayer is that I respond to one of the other drugs.) The doctor shared that she can not promise I will be asymptomatic, but the hope is that I can at least manage the disease better than I am now. The doc shared that it is sometimes difficult to manage the disease, but that there is a lot of research going on in this area, and the hope is that they will have better drugs in the next couple of years.

4. She also told me that it's not going to be an instant recovery. It's a lot of guesswork, while we try out different medications, doses, etc... and this is all going to take time. I'm not a huge fan of waiting to stop vomiting, but I trust that God's hand is in and through this. He clearly has said, "keep trusting me with it all"... and I'm doing my best.

5. In all honesty, I'm a little angry, a little frustrated, and mostly exhausted--but I know God can take all of that, and keep holding me in His hand. It was our prayer that God would use the trip to Mayo to heal me completely, and that I would return whole and healthy. It doesn't look like that was His plan, or at least not in His time. And so we wait, continuing to know that He can heal at any moment, but for some reason allowing me to go through this. We trust in His love, holding tight to His promises, and are doing our best to have hope in what is to come.

Hugs,
brelin