somtimes i get mad...

Lately I've been talking about how God gives me enough strength to last through each day. It's true, mostly He does... but sometimes it seems like He forgets... I know in my brain and my heart that God never leaves me alone, and that He is constantly surrounding me with people who love me, and others who care for me.

But sometimes, I just get frustrated and angry that things aren't better yet. I want to go back to playing outside, and goofing off with middle school kids at church, and playing soccer, and drinking water without having to run to the bathroom to throw up. I had a little break-down yesterday. Most of the day was a lot of fun, we had some friends over, we got out to go for a walk, and then in the evening I was trying to make an Italian Soda for Marcus and the club soda bottle exploded all over me, the floor, the wall, and the kitchen counter. Normally, I would have just laughed.

I don't feel normal these days, so instead, I burst into tears and questioned what God wants us to learn from this... or if somehow He's checking to make sure we really believe. I don't think God really wants those things from me & Marcus at all. I think that God wants us to count on Him for everything... even the things that seem insignificant--like opening the club soda.

I can't imagine being sick without God. God can handle my anger, my frustrations, my tears, my laughter, my joy... and whatever other emotions I want to feel. God will remain loving, patient, and compassionate, surrounding me with His loving arms, and with as much grace that I need.

and more than anything else, I need God who can handle me just as I am.
brelin