wave after wave

When things are tough in Pukeville, it's easy to get discouraged. When I find myself rinsing my metal puke bowl out more times than I care to in a day, it's easy to get frustrated. Sometimes I can't even sit still long enough to make it through church. Yesterday was one of those days.

We made it up until the passing of the peace, and by then I had thrown up three times already. I didn't want to sit still anymore, and I certainly didn't want to talk to anyone. So Marcus and I slipped out the back. We did get to hear the sermon before we left, and it was good. It was a helpful reminder that "faith is what happens when ______." It's not necessarily when things are hunky dory, it's about how we respond when things are tough.
The sermon also stressed the important role that the church plays in supporting one another when we're too puny to walk on our own. Pr. John reminded us that we say the creed, (our statement of faith), together, aloud--and sometimes "for" eachother. I'm thankful for the times when I was able to say it for others, and I'm thankful for the times that people are supporting me with their faithfulness now.

When in the land of Pukeville, it seems like endless waves of destruction, fear, and they never seem to end. Marcus and I went to Los Cabos with some friends before I got super sick in 2007. While we were there, I was stuck in the surf, close to shore, but unable to get out; getting pelted with wave after wave. I couldn't get out of the water with my own strength. I was beaten, tossed about, thrown underwater, lost my bearings, and couldn't tell which way was up. I feel like that sometimes after I've been puking all day too. I lay there on the bathroom floor wondering if I've done something wrong, or I have not been trusting God enough with ____. I feel disoriented, discouraged, and not really knowing which way to turn.

Then, God always gives a little hope. Enough joy. A whisper of cheer. A gentle reminder to keep going...to keep trusting...that healing will come.

He calls to me, as He calls to you. Walk with me, this way, He says.