no surgery.

We have no new information.
The insurance company has still not approved or denied the appeal. We are irritated, to say the least, but have not sought out any outside help (from attornies, etc) We're hoping that the insurance will make a decision soon, and my GI doctor though the best bet would be for us to somehow get the doctor at the insurance company to speak directly with my physician. He was hopeful that they'd hear him out, and then approve it. I'm not quite sure how to make that happen, but I'll sure do my best to figure it out. Beyond that, there is no real news with us.

My application has been deep sixed at the surgeon's office, but I was reassured that the minute we hear from insurance, the surgeon's office would get the surgery scheduled within a week or two.

The only positive news coming from all this waiting is that it's FINALLY snowing in the mountains!! Hopefully, I can go skiing and snowboarding when I'm not too tired/in too much pain/puking too much.
YAY!! :)

Marcus has been sick this last week with a low-grade fever, aches, super tired, and congestion. Please pray that I don't get it, as it would really wipe me out, and probably dump me into the hospital.

We're hoping to go on a trip to see some family in the South Pacific in May. We couldn't be more excited to see them and lay on the beach in the 80 degree weather. Awesome.

My book/devotional has 30 entries now. Be looking for it in your inbox before March 9 (which is Ash Wednesday) this year, and the beginning of Lent. :)

Hugs and love to all.
b

waiting...and waiting...and waiting.

So, I'm sure that many of you are aware of my quickly approaching surgery date of 02/23. That being said, I think it's almost time to give up on that date, and pray that the next surgical date might be a bit more meaningful. I spoke with the doctor again today, and the insurance company has still not made a decision on my case. They've come back to the doctor twice since last Thursday, asking for more lab work. I'd had it done, so they were able to send that information on to the insurance company again. The ball is back in their court, as we WAIT for them to make another ruling.

People often ask what I fill my days with. It's hard to explain, usually. I feel busy. Even when I'm too exhausted to get off the couch, my days are full and emotionally, physically, and mentally consuming. What am I doing, you ask?

Waiting.

I'm waiting for healing to happen. I'm waiting for that medicine I just took to kick in, hoping that it will bring some relief. I'm waiting to see how long it will take that glass of milk, or the hot tea that I drank, or the peas I tried, or the cereal I just ate to come back up. I'm waiting to see if it will be hours from now, or just a couple of minutes. I'm waiting to hear from the doctors about what to do next. I'm waiting for the nurses to call me back and answer my questions about swollen fingers and protein imbalances, about constipation, abdominal pain, and vomiting. I'm waiting to hear if I should go to the ER of if the infusion therapy clinic will do the trick this time. I'm waiting for the insurance company to finally figure out that I'm sick enough to have surgery. I'm waiting to finally be healed. I'm waiting for a child. I'm waiting to see if the housing market will improve. I'm waiting to see if I'll ever be healthy enough to return to work. I'm waiting to plan trips, and think about going back to school, and thinking about even one week from now, because I'm just not sure how I'll be feeling, or if I'll have enough energy to do the thing that I planned. Mostly, I'm waiting to feel better. Any kind of better. I'm waiting for the day that I can wake up and not hurt anymore. Or at least, waiting for the day when I don't vomit all day long.

I guess that's what I'm doing.

I'm sorry this entry is a little depressing. I'm not feeling depressed. I'm feeling optimistic about the future and all that it holds. I just wish we could get on with it.

I also think that it's absurd that an insurance company has the right and/or ability to decide ANYTHING about patient care. Since when does some bureaucrat have the authority to make decisions about MY HEALTH?!? Don't get me started... Ugh.

no news, really

I wanted to write to let you know that there is nothing really new with us.

I went in last week for another blood draw, and have not heard any results from that yet. My phosphorous and BUN was checked with this blood draw. BUN tests the amount of nitrogen in your blood, and your urea can either filter it well or not. If the BUN is high or low, it's indicative of a problem in your kidneys, in my case, most likely due to dehydration. They also checked my phosphorous. Low levels mean dehydration. High levels mean kidney failure. I'm assuming they think that mine will be low on both accounts. I'm not sure what they found, nor have I heard any more news about the appeal with the insurance company. And, so we continue to wait.

I'm not feeling like I need to be rushed to the hospital regularly, so that is good. We've been trying to get up to go skiing/snowboarding once a week or so. Marcus and I are doing our best to start eating more healthy foods too. I'm trying to quit having "candy" as my main food group, and have gone back to yoga class after a two month break. Marcus is back to lifting weights, and I think it's safe to say that we're feeling a little better. I'm still puking all day, but now more nutrient dense foods. Hopefully that is good overall. :)

We're off to Whistler for the weekend with some friends. It should be lots of fun.

Thank you for all your prayers, love, emails, and cards. It's nice to know that so many are still praying 3 1/2 years later.

We treasure your words of encouragement, and pray along with you that this nightmarish journey will be over soon.

I'm loving Psalm 5:1-2 the last couple of days:
Listen to my words, Lord, consider my lament.
Hear my cry for help, my King, and my God,
for to you I pray.
In the morning, Lord, you hear my voice;
in the morning, I lay my requests before you and wait expectantly.

I know He hears them all, and pray along with you that His answer comes quickly.
brelin

hanging in there.

I'm feeling a lot better emotionally about everything today. We had put so much hope into this surgery quickly ending the physical pain that I've been enduring, but apparantly God had a different time table that He's working on.

Yesterday I was able to go skiing with our family (& friends, Jon & Tammy). I made it about 4 hours, which was awesome. It was super sunny, clear skies, and we got to see Mt. Rainier, Baker, Adams, & Stuart. It was gorgeous and lots of fun to get off the couch.

The other day I couldn't stay awake at all. I only managed to stay awake for about an hour at a time, so it was nice to be able to get out and feel okay for a couple of hours. I'm still not really sure if I'm fighting some kind of virus, or if I'm just worn out from life.

I'm going in for more bloodwork today, and my GI doctor is working with the medtronic staff (who make the gastric pacemaker device) to get going on my appeal process to the insurance company.

They have re-scheduled me for surgery on 2/23, pending insurance approval. And so we wait again, hoping that this is the door God is opening, and that THIS is the time that He has ordained for healing.

I'm holding on to these verses in James 1:2-5, 12. I hope they'll be a blessing to you as well...
Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing.
If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given to him.
Blessed is the man who remains steadfast under trial, for when he has stood the test he will receive the crown of life, which God has promised to those who love him.