today

I've been hanging in there lately, not feeling so hot for the most part. I'm perhaps heading into the "winter slump"--which is a bit disconcerting to us. I've got a couple of phone calls in to two different GI docs, so hopefully we can get my spiraling out of control back under control before too much damage is done. My pain levels have been through the roof, and I'm just tired of fighting. It's frustrating and exhausting knowing that anything you eat might come back up in a second, and so I've been mostly just having liquids. That's a struggle too, because it's really hard to get enough calories in when you're just having liquids. Ugh.

Yesterday I got to go sledding with Garrett, Maya, & Caleb--it was super fun! I love living out here in Enumclaw, it's been such a great time so far. We're enjoying not living on a huge hill too, it's making our transportation situation much easier. We've gotten about a foot of snow here, the most in the area, and it is gorgeous everywhere you look.

I keep telling God that I'm pretty sure I've gotten the memo about ANY lesson that He might want me to learn...I understand that I cannot do anything on my own strength. I totally get that I rely on you for all things. I know that your promises are true and that you never give me more than I can handle...but I'm tired now, God. I don't want to fight anymore. I'm tired of struggling to maintain minimal health. I want the pain to be over.

He has his arms wrapped tightly around me, and walks through each difficult moment with me. But at the moment, that doesn't feel like enough. I just want healing. I'm tired of messing around. Can you please hear our prayers?