zumba, and other horrific tales.

I'll start the post with some more pictures from Kwajalein, our tiny island in the South Pacific that we visited in May.

Sophie & Uncle Marcus

Marcus & I on the empty beach
(we were the only ones there almost every day)

An amazing sunset.

Sea Glass collected from Glass Beach.
(this was just one bag we came home with. you can collect this same amount everyday.)
I found yellow, but Marcus found a large piece of red. Both are rare.

And now from our current life:
We've continued to have a lot of fun lately. I guess it's good that even though I'm not feeling any better, it's not impacting my ability to have a really good time--or at least try really hard at it. :)

I've been having to go in for weekly or bi-weekly IV therapy treatments lately. The nice part about this is that hospital in Issaquah is open now, so I can just drive there instead of having to go to downtown Seattle. The IV therapy has been staving off the fainting, kind of-- I haven't actually fainted again, but I do end up having to lay down in a lot of weird places...fitting rooms, in the locker room at the gym, walking to the park, etc. It's a little humbling (read: embarrassing), but something I can get over. The bizarre part is that I'm doing well on my electrolytes (better than ever, actually), and my weight is up a marginal amount, most likely from the twice a week fluids.

One other lesson that I'm learning is one of keeping my mouth shut. There is an interesting phenomenon that happens at public bathrooms after I've just puked. Normally I'm pretty quiet, but sometimes it's too painful and hard to muffle the noise, so I just vomit. There is nothing delicate or dainty about vomiting, and certainly in that moment, it's clear to everyone what just took place in my stall. When I emerge from my stall being the size 00 that I am, I get some pretty ugly looks from other women. It is in these moments where I want to scream, "Don't judge me! You don't know what horror I'm going through. I have a digestive disease!" Ugh. So, instead of yelling at these women, I'm doing my best not to judge others. I figure I'd like people to give me a break, and I'm sure others need one too. Lesson #359 learned. Thanks, God.

My gastric pacemaker seems to be causing problems, yet does seem to be helping on occasion. If I only drink liquids, I can sometimes keep them down now that I've got my device turned up to 2.6. Although now that it's at 2.6, it's been shocking me almost every day all day long. Just in the last day or two, I haven't been noticing it as much. Hopefully this means that I've gotten used to it. :) I'm thinking of having them turn it up again soon, so that I might feel incrementally better? I'm not sure if this is reasonable thinking, but if I'm getting shocked already, it might as well be for a good cause. :)

Marcus and I have decided to stay in Enumclaw for another year. We've been going around and around, dragging our feet about making a decision about whether we should continue to rent out our condo in Sammamish for another year, or if we should move back into it. We ended up deciding to stay out in the boonies for one more year. We're hoping that in a year we'll have a more clear vision of where we'd like to "settle down"--whether that's back in our condo in Sammamish, or somewhere else entirely, I've got no idea. It's nice to have that decision made though, and now we don't have to think about it for another year.

He and I are going to head out on a backpacking trip on Wednesday. We'll just be gone on one overnight, and mostly Marcus will be carrying all of the heavy things. I'm so excited to be going on a hike again, and I've been "training" so that I'm strong enough to go. I've been doing some light weight lifting and Zumba classes, and a little running. For those of you who have seen me dance, you can imagine me doing Zumba and laugh. It's hilarious. But, I break a sweat each time, and it's so much fun to do a cardio class that doesn't leave you bored. I've also been enjoying a "body pump" class, which is weight lifting in an hour. Super fun. Anyway, Marcus worked out with me the other day, and deemed me ready for the hike. I'm so excited.

I think that's all for us. We've been enjoying going out on the boat with friends, and it seems that summer has finally arrived in the Seattle area. It's not crazy hot, but sunny enough that we've been able to take the boat out with friends several times.

Marcus and I are doing really well. We seem to be falling in love more and more with each new day. This trial (my health) has been such a long, arduous battle--but Marcus encourages me to fight with such grace and tenacity. We have been having so much fun together lately, staying up late laughing, chasing each other around the house just being silly... it's so refreshing to be so much in love, even in the middle of our 6th year of marriage. I'm so blessed to have a hot fireman husband who loves me so much.

I am so thankful for all of your prayers, love, cards, and words of encouragement. Lately, I've been feeling God's peace so strongly in the midst of this battle, and I feel such strength to "keep going" even though things are disheartening and seemingly a little hopeless at the moment. I trust that God's got this part of my struggle in His story for my life too, and I continue to rely on the love and knowledge that, "He's gotten me this far, He's certainly not going to leave me now." And, isn't that so true?! He never does leave us. He will never forsake us. He's always right there, explaining away our pain, drying our tears, dusting us off, setting us on our feet again when we've fallen down...and when we turn to Him for comfort, He says, "I am with you always, to the end of the age. You are mine, and I love you."

I'm praying that YOU will feel that powerful love today and always.

b

better than last year! (phew.)

2010 Rismiller Family Vacation will forever remain etched in my memory, and in the memory of all the Rismiller's who watched me tumble down at the tennis courts. It was especially difficult for the nieces and nephews because they didn't understand what was going on. They simply thought that I was dying, as I went from cheering, "Go, Kids, Go!" during their tennis lesson to passed out on the ground at the park.

This year's family vacation went so much better. There were no medical malfunctions to speak about, except a minor hiccup at a Nike Outlet on the way home where I had to lay down in the fitting room. (but Marcus was there, and caught me in time.) I got fluids in the new Issaquah Highlands hospital the next day. :) I managed to enjoy biking, swimming, running, and even throwing a frisbee while at Sun River with the rest of the family. Marcus and I even rode a bicycle built for two, checking one of the items off my list of 33 things before I'm 33. We took a chairlift up to the top of Mt. Bachelor on a sunny day and hiked around, throwing snow balls, and playing on the big rocks. We even took a tour of a candy & ice cream factory in Bend (enjoying free samples, and then went on a white water rafting trip for a few hours!! I got to participate in all the activities without limitations! And I'm not feeling too terribly now, either. I just had to take a couple of naps along the way.

I didn't end up having the doc turn up the pacemaker before we left. There was a fiasco in communication, so I couldn't get there easily--and in the end, we thought it best to deal with what we know while we were away. I know that I can handle a week of puking. I don't know if I can deal with a week of rate 2.6 and puking. So, we thought it best to wait and have it turned up when we'd be around Seattle in case I can't handle the increased rate. So, I'm getting it turned up today at noon.

I think that's it for news. My puking seems to be a little better than before surgery. I think I keep food down longer, and so more is staying in (at least seemingly.) I haven't noticed an increase in weight, necessarily, but hopefully that will come in time. I still feel like I'm puking everything and all the time, so it's still just as frustrating as ever, but when I stop and reflect (like right now) I think things are staying down a bit longer then they were before. That's something, at least.

Please pray that I can not grow too frustrated with this thing. So far, I want to rip it out of my body on a daily basis. Mostly when it's shocking me. That's been more regularly recently (I think because I've been dehydrated. I'm still having to go in for weekly hydration, and if I miss even a couple days, I almost faint.) Anyway, I know that I can endure it for the 6 months of "trial" that I'm supposed to have. And then, beyond that... help me to know what God has for me in the future. I covet your prayers. All of them. :)

LOVE to All.
b