Well, actually today is the 1116th day of puking. In a row. That is a lot of vomit. People who have the flu or food poisoning more than 3 days feel like they're going to die. And I've been throwing up now for one thousand one hundred and sixteen days.
wow.
Someone asked me to share my faith story for the confirmation students this year. I'm not really sure why that caught me off guard--but it did. I'm never really sure what to say. In many ways, my faith story remains the same. I am flaky, God is constant. I am trusting, God remains faithful and constant. I start to waiver and lose hope, God pulls me closer to His heart, lovingly guides me and remains constant.
Ultimately, that's the beauty of the Lord...His love is unchanged, unwavering, and completely unaffected by our stupid human-ness.
My little grandma Sarah died last Thursday, and I can't help but think of her sitting at God's side, chatting right into His ear, "Now Jesus, since I've got your full attention, let me talk to you about my Brelin..."
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
Saturday, September 25, 2010
1.11.19-09.23.10
Grandma always had time to play. She used to take care of me when I was little, and no matter what she might have been in the middle of--she could always make time for a visit. I remember being at her house when I was 4 or so, and I would push my little yellow shopping cart up and down her hallways purchasing the "goodies" that she'd saved for me...empty milk cartons, cans of soup, and containers of oatmeal.
In that same hallway, we'd do our morning exercises. This mostly consisted of jumping jacks, touching our toes, and lots of laughter. We'd throw some dance moves in too, and I'd try to impress her while I somersaulted my toddler chubbiness down the hall. She'd tell me how I was so talented, and smother me with hugs and kisses.
She was also famous for her baking...I've been standing on a chair by her side for as long as I can remember "helping" her and learning from her. Mind you, I use the term "helping" very loosely. Just in the last year, I was finally able to master Grandma's infamous pumpkin roll (on my second try.) She coached me over the phone as I was trying to make the dish at my house in Seattle. I finally finished it with her help. I brought it over for Christmas dinner, and she pronounced it excellent. It was the biggest and best compliment I could receive.
Her faith was remarkable. It was real, and deep--unwavering, and she held Jesus close to her heart. During WWII, all in one week her family received notice that three of her brothers were MIA in Europe. Even then, in the midst of fear and faced with a profound sense of loss, she clung tightly to her faith. She worshipped regularly, was always praying for her family, and studied her bible in church and at the hall. I used to come to Bible study with her, and this would result in great conversations after. We'd talk and laugh about just how much God loves us.
Grandma had an adventurous spirit, and went after life with spunk and zest. She loved to play games with her friends, sharing in their lives with laughter and joy. She always had a kind word for others, and was a tremendously hard-worker. She was quiet about her wild stories though, and we didn't realize just how much fun she'd had until we were going through her photos with her. :)
She was a fantastic seamstress, making me beautiful homecoming and prom dresses. She hemmed my wedding dress for me, and would always dote on me through each project, making sure each seam was perfect regardless of how much sleep she lost or how many times she had to re-do it.
She was a devoted wife, a loving mother, and the best grandmother anyone could ever hope for. I love you, Grandma. Say hi to Jesus for me, and put in a good word for us up there.
In that same hallway, we'd do our morning exercises. This mostly consisted of jumping jacks, touching our toes, and lots of laughter. We'd throw some dance moves in too, and I'd try to impress her while I somersaulted my toddler chubbiness down the hall. She'd tell me how I was so talented, and smother me with hugs and kisses.
She was also famous for her baking...I've been standing on a chair by her side for as long as I can remember "helping" her and learning from her. Mind you, I use the term "helping" very loosely. Just in the last year, I was finally able to master Grandma's infamous pumpkin roll (on my second try.) She coached me over the phone as I was trying to make the dish at my house in Seattle. I finally finished it with her help. I brought it over for Christmas dinner, and she pronounced it excellent. It was the biggest and best compliment I could receive.
Her faith was remarkable. It was real, and deep--unwavering, and she held Jesus close to her heart. During WWII, all in one week her family received notice that three of her brothers were MIA in Europe. Even then, in the midst of fear and faced with a profound sense of loss, she clung tightly to her faith. She worshipped regularly, was always praying for her family, and studied her bible in church and at the hall. I used to come to Bible study with her, and this would result in great conversations after. We'd talk and laugh about just how much God loves us.
Grandma had an adventurous spirit, and went after life with spunk and zest. She loved to play games with her friends, sharing in their lives with laughter and joy. She always had a kind word for others, and was a tremendously hard-worker. She was quiet about her wild stories though, and we didn't realize just how much fun she'd had until we were going through her photos with her. :)
She was a fantastic seamstress, making me beautiful homecoming and prom dresses. She hemmed my wedding dress for me, and would always dote on me through each project, making sure each seam was perfect regardless of how much sleep she lost or how many times she had to re-do it.
She was a devoted wife, a loving mother, and the best grandmother anyone could ever hope for. I love you, Grandma. Say hi to Jesus for me, and put in a good word for us up there.
Friday, September 10, 2010
slippery elm
When someone says the word, "gruel" I conjure images in my mind of a slightly emaciated green-tinged woman with a wart on her nose, hovering over large black cauldron simmering on an open flame. She is stirring her concoction with a dilapidated broom handle. Obviously, this word, "gruel" does not send me running to the kitchen to enjoy a second batch associated with that word.
I went to the naturopath this past week. He had some interesting things to say and try. This is my third naturopath, and this one seems much more scientifically rooted, especially compared to the last one who made me wear green glasses, and listen to his assistant play the tone of 'G' on a tuning fork while we discussed my deeply-rooted issues with my mother. (Clearly a story for another day, and side note: I love my mother and have no issues with her. I insisted this was true, and the doctor kept asking--"well, what is causing your vomiting then?" I said, "that's why I'm here." ugh.)
Anyway, this new naturopath seems much more medically valid, and prescribed several different vitamins and supplements to try. One of these includes one cup of a "gruel of slippery elm." First imagine something the texture of mucus and/or slug slime, then imagine an entire cup full of this hideous substance served cold. Finally, imagine that it tastes like you hacked off a chunk of tree bark from your front yard, ground it up, started gnawing on it, and then it became the texture of snot. Sound delicious? Yah, it wasn't really.
I do enjoy a few cups of ginger tea a day. They don't seem to be helping my nausea, but I don't mind the flavor. Everything is better than slippery elm. :)
I go back for a follow-up appointment next week, and then also have an appointment with Dr. Patterson to learn more about the gastric pacemaker. My weight is up, and I seem to doing well. I'm back to exercising--still puking all day long, but holding weight okay.
We're looking forward to Andy & Alyssa's wedding this coming weekend. (I can't believe my little brother is old enough to get married!!)
Hugs to all,
brelin
I went to the naturopath this past week. He had some interesting things to say and try. This is my third naturopath, and this one seems much more scientifically rooted, especially compared to the last one who made me wear green glasses, and listen to his assistant play the tone of 'G' on a tuning fork while we discussed my deeply-rooted issues with my mother. (Clearly a story for another day, and side note: I love my mother and have no issues with her. I insisted this was true, and the doctor kept asking--"well, what is causing your vomiting then?" I said, "that's why I'm here." ugh.)
Anyway, this new naturopath seems much more medically valid, and prescribed several different vitamins and supplements to try. One of these includes one cup of a "gruel of slippery elm." First imagine something the texture of mucus and/or slug slime, then imagine an entire cup full of this hideous substance served cold. Finally, imagine that it tastes like you hacked off a chunk of tree bark from your front yard, ground it up, started gnawing on it, and then it became the texture of snot. Sound delicious? Yah, it wasn't really.
I do enjoy a few cups of ginger tea a day. They don't seem to be helping my nausea, but I don't mind the flavor. Everything is better than slippery elm. :)
I go back for a follow-up appointment next week, and then also have an appointment with Dr. Patterson to learn more about the gastric pacemaker. My weight is up, and I seem to doing well. I'm back to exercising--still puking all day long, but holding weight okay.
We're looking forward to Andy & Alyssa's wedding this coming weekend. (I can't believe my little brother is old enough to get married!!)
Hugs to all,
brelin
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
my current musings
There are a lot of things that I'd never really considered before I was sick. Either it was because I didn't have time, or perhaps because they weren't really worth considering. Regardless, I have already wasted my time thinking about them, so I thought I'd throw them onto the blog. Here are a sampling of the things I've learned (in no particularly useful order.)
Here goes nothing.
1. Jamba Juice. They have a secret menu that includes flavors like pink starburst, and white gummy bear. You can order them just by asking, and they are delicious.
2. You can substitute 1 cup of milk with 1 tsp. lemon juice for 1 c. of buttermilk in recipes. I'm not sure why I didn't know this before, but now I do.
3. Something to think on: why don't more rich people smoke?
4. How did the corn dog get its name?
I think that's enough things for you to ponder for today.
This past week was full of fun. We went to the Evergreen State Fair in Monroe, hence the corn dog and smoking questions. We also went to watch the Seattle Sounders play soccer. It was super fun!!
I got to see my friend, Tami, and her daughter, Evan. We made baby food.
Marcus and I picked blueberries in North Bend with Jim & Carol, and then went out to lunch with them.
We also played tennis, and took naps.
Coming up this week, we've got some wild adventures ahead...
Tomorrow morning I go see a new doctor, a different naturopath who also specializes in gastroenterology and botany. Sounds interesting, eh?
And, then in the afternoon, we're off to an ob/gyn for an annual appointment. I won't delve into the details of the "annual appointment", but let's just say I'm not really looking forward to it.
On Friday, Sarah(my sister) and Sarah (her friend) arrive and we'll be playing all weekend in Seattle. Then we'll enjoy a Dave Matthews concert in the Gorge, before they fly back to the east coast. It should be wild time.
Here goes nothing.
1. Jamba Juice. They have a secret menu that includes flavors like pink starburst, and white gummy bear. You can order them just by asking, and they are delicious.
2. You can substitute 1 cup of milk with 1 tsp. lemon juice for 1 c. of buttermilk in recipes. I'm not sure why I didn't know this before, but now I do.
3. Something to think on: why don't more rich people smoke?
4. How did the corn dog get its name?
I think that's enough things for you to ponder for today.
This past week was full of fun. We went to the Evergreen State Fair in Monroe, hence the corn dog and smoking questions. We also went to watch the Seattle Sounders play soccer. It was super fun!!
I got to see my friend, Tami, and her daughter, Evan. We made baby food.
Marcus and I picked blueberries in North Bend with Jim & Carol, and then went out to lunch with them.
We also played tennis, and took naps.
Coming up this week, we've got some wild adventures ahead...
Tomorrow morning I go see a new doctor, a different naturopath who also specializes in gastroenterology and botany. Sounds interesting, eh?
And, then in the afternoon, we're off to an ob/gyn for an annual appointment. I won't delve into the details of the "annual appointment", but let's just say I'm not really looking forward to it.
On Friday, Sarah(my sister) and Sarah (her friend) arrive and we'll be playing all weekend in Seattle. Then we'll enjoy a Dave Matthews concert in the Gorge, before they fly back to the east coast. It should be wild time.
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