mentally--awesome. physically-meh.

I've been enjoying lots of fun times with friends lately. I've been making it a point to get out of the house to see people each day, and trying to branch out into new fields of self-discovery. The pictures above are from the tulip festival this year, which I went to with my friend, Alicia. It was beautiful.

This past weekend, I ran a 5 K with Marcus!! That is 3.1 miles. I was able to run the whole way, and didn't even puke until the bushes at the end of the race. It was tons of fun, and it was the "Top Pot Doughnut Dash", so they served donuts at the finish line. Epic.

Over the past month or so, I've been really struggling with depression. I've been frustrated about my health, discouraged by the lack of progress that I've been making, and that ultimately I have no control over how I feel physically. Instead of dwelling on the negatives, and getting annoyed that I'm still vomiting, I've been trying hard to work on finding joy in each day. Lots of people have been praying for me, and I'm really feeling much more optimistic about life as it's going now. I'm doing my best to laugh more, read more uplifting books, and tackle new activities with a spirit of tenacity.

Here are the things that I'm excited about this spring/summer:

1. Ballet. I signed up for a beginning adult ballet class. For those of you that remember when I was 5, I had a brief stint with ballet then. I attended class as a childhood chub, and every time I curtsied, I would tip over. It was hilarious, and makes a great story now. Anyway, that led to my soccer career... which clearly worked out better through high school and college. :)

2. Tennis. I'm taking some tennis lessons. I've been learning with Marcus, and my brother-in-law, Jon, but I thought I'd get some more instruction as well. Hopefully, I'll enjoy it more when I can hit it a little bit better.

3. Volunteering more. I'm looking into "wish granting" for the Make A Wish Foundation, which is a lot of behind-the-scenes emailing, calling, and coordinating. All of these things can be done from my house, with my puke bowl next to the computer screen. Perfect. I'm also checking into volunteering at the Children's Hospital once a week or so. I'm a little nervous about making a weekly commitment to something, but I think it'll be a good experience.

4. Dog? Despite my fiercest efforts, I have not yet convinced Marcus of our need for a dog. He believes that we have a need for a house with a backyard, and then a dog. I think we should just go for it. The only thing that's holding us back is that we just put in new carpeting. Ugh. Not necessarily a good idea when trying to potty train a pooch. I'll keep you posted on this one.

5. Golf!! I've decided to embrace this new sport...despite my best attempts to avoid it in years past. I think this is something I can do, and learn to enjoy together with Marcus. I'll keep you posted on this new hobby...now all I need is some more Seattle sun!! :)

6. Sewing. I made my first baby quilt for a good friend. Here's how it turned out:

7. GOD. I'm going to do my best to be patient with His timing, especially when it's not really coinciding with mine. :) He knows what He's doing, clearly, so I need to just trust that all things will happen in due time. I'm still planning to contribute my 2 cents in my prayer life, but ultimately I'll try to submit fully to His perfect plan and His perfect timing. Phew.

hugs, brelin

one month later

I feel like a sinner for not writing more often... I'm so sorry that it's been almost a month since my last entry. I'm not busy dying or anything, although I have been to the ER a couple of times.

Here are the quick highlights from the past month:
1. Marcus and I just got back from a road trip to Palm Desert, CA. We stayed at a cheap hotel, using our friend's discount, while our friends stayed at a swanky resort in the town of La Quinta. We hung out with them the whole time, and enjoyed the use of the fancy facilities at their resort. It was genious. While we were there, I soaked up the sun, Marcus played golf, we had to view a LOT of birds (Marcus being a bird nerd), we picked gigantic lemons and grapefruits from the trees, and we went to Joshua Tree National Park. It was really fun. :) The funniest part of the trip, however, was on the way home. We started the day in Palm Desert in our shorts and flip flops, since it was 80 in the morning. We drove to LA to visit a friend, and then headed out on the trek home. Our GPS told us it may be faster to drive through Reno, NV, since we were headed to the Tri-Cities for Easter. We foolishly obeyed. In the midst of the SNOWSTORM between Sacramento and Reno, Marcus and I were still wearing our shorts and flip flops while people were frantically pulling their cars to the shoulder to put chains on their vehicles. It was ridiculous, but pretty awesome. We made it safely to Reno in our shorts, just much later than we'd hoped. :)

2. We had a great time in the Tri-Cities at Easter. We got to see the whole family, and it was fun.

3. I continue to vomit. It seems like my intestines have slowed down, and my pain is worse lately. I took a trip to the ER the other day because my feet were turning purple and I was really dizzy. The fixed me up with some fluids, some pain meds, and anti-emetics and I felt much better. That was the night before we left for Cali, and I really had to rally to make myself go. I'm glad that we went!! :)

I think that is pretty much all.
brelin