fun adventures in mexico and the snow!

Marcus and I went to Puerto Vallarta at the beginning of this month! We had a wonderful time playing in the ocean, snorkeling at Las Caletas, and riding zip lines that were over a 1/4 of a mile long. It was 87 degrees, and sunny the whole time that we were there!! We soaked up the sun, drank lots of "miami vices" (a delightful mix of pina colada & strawberry daiquiri) and made some wonderful memories. :) Marcus' parents, Jim & Carol, came along with us, and we enjoyed spending lots of time together on the beautiful beaches.

Since then, we have been enjoying the winter wonderland that we call home. It seems like it has been snowing non-stop since we arrived home, and we are loving it!! I drove over to see my sister, Sarah, graduate from WSU on Dec. 13th! We are super proud of her for being a supergenius, and are looking forward to her coming to live with us while she starts a new job in the Seattle area. She'll be joining us sometime at the beginning of January for a couple of months until she finds a place to settle down.

Marcus and I have season passes to Crystal Mountain and have already gone snowboarding & skiing twice. I have decided to pick up skiing after a 15 year respite, and am pretty impressed with myself so far. I only fell 4 times the whole day! :) I have almost fully retired from my job at American Eagle, so that it doesn't get in the way of our snowboarding schedule!! :) I'm down to working just one or two Saturdays a month.

At the beginning of January, I'm hoping to get started doing some substitute teaching. I'll be throwing my name into the pool at Issaquah, Renton, and Snoqualmie Valley school districts. I figure I'll get back to working with kids, and enjoy the flexibility that subbing provides...I think it will be a good fit for right now.

I am still in the midst of discerning God's call on the possibility of chaplaincy and attending seminary. I will be doing a job shadow of a chaplain at Children's Hospital on January 6th--and am looking forward to the clarity that may come after that.

Our Christmas has been wonderful!! So far, we have celebrated with the Rismiller's and the Weakley's. We're looking forward to a spring thaw and then celebrating the Johnson family Christmas too. :)

Lots of love and hugs to you all! We are so thankful for all of you! Merry Christmas!!
brelin

more fun adventures!

Hi All,
It's been a while since my last post, but nothing really has changed. I am still feeling good most days, and enjoying all kinds of adventures again!!

I was able to celebrate Thanksgiving in the Tri-Cities with Marcus, my parents, siblings, and other super fun relatives. We had a great, but short, visit with them, and made it back to Seattle in time for me to leave for a wedding, and Marcus to get to work on Friday am.

The wedding that I was in was for a college friend, Ellen. A couple of us were her bridesmaids, and made the trek to Bremerton for a fun & busy wedding weekend. I made it home exhausted from the adventures on Sunday night. The wedding was beautiful, and it was fun to celebrate God's love in the context of marriage with them... Marcus joined me for the wedding, and we were rocking out on the dance floor. It was reallllllllly fun.

I'm home for Mon & Tues, and then on Wednesday we fly out to Puerto Vallarta for the week. We are VERY excited to lay on the beach, soak up the sunshine, and have fun with Marcus' parents who are joining us for their first time in Mexico. We are pumped to share this experience with them!! And I am so thankful that I'll be allowed to frolic on the beach and in the waves...SO thankful for healing.

I think that's all for me. Love, hugs, and happy belated thanksgiving!!
brelin

sweet! and not so sweet...

Hi All,

So, I've got good news and bad news. Which would you like first? I always like to get the bad news out of the way first, and then be pleasantly suprised at the end... so here it goes.

The bad news.
I am not going to be able to go back to work at Sammamish Hills Church after all. It seems that there is no money to add a new staff position, and some nasty black mold that had to get removed from the building has drained the budget more than they'd hoped it would... Thus, no "bring brelin back" campaign, because they have to get their budget fixed first. While I am extremely bummed about this, I continue to trust that God has a plan. It seems that I currently have no idea what that plan is, but am eager and happily waiting to find out what it might be.

The good news.
I am feeling called to Chaplaincy at a Children's Hospital, and am learning more and more what that entails. At this moment, I believe it means that I, Brelin Rismiller, will be headed to seminary sometime soon. I am continuing to grapple with what that really means, as I would be Pastor Brelin at the end of it all. It freaks me out a little bit, but I am both eager and excited to discern more about what God's call really is. So, the reason that I'm writing is so that you all can be praying for me to know what God's will is in all this. Please pray specifically that I follow His call above all else, and that He'll make it painstakingly obvious if this is not the direction that I am called to go.

The other good news.
I am healthy! I was able to run 5 miles today in the beautiful fall sunshine. I am enjoying this fall with new insight and appreciation for the beauty that is all around me. I am so thankful for each breath that I take, for each beat of my heart, and that I'm no longer attached to life-sustaining tubes of any kind. I have no picc lines, no blood clots, no feeding tubes, no shots, and just one medicine (and a lot of vitamins!) I got my tube out exactly 14 months from the first day I started vomiting... and I am thrilled for the drastic progress that has taken place since surgery on July 23rd--I am also completely thankful for all of your prayers.

The best good news.
I am currently in LOVE with this passage from Psalm 37.
"Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord; trust in Him and He will do this: He will make your righteousness shine like the dawn, and the justice of your cause like the noonday sun. Be still before the Lord, and wait patiently for Him."

Waiting patiently, (as best I can.)
brelin

pure joy.

I cannot begin to express the feelings of JOY/excitement/relief/freedom/THANKFULNESS that are bursting from me this day. I just got home from my doctor's appointment, during which my feeding tube was removed!!! It feels sort of like getting your braces off--only WAY better. Like something is missing from your body... but you're not really sad to see it go. :) The doctor was thrilled with the progress that I've made... impressed with my determination to get well, and off the meds that I wanted to.

Here are some of the things that I'm thanking God for this day:
1. I am completely off of medications, except one... which the doctor says I can safely stay on forever.
2. I have my feeding tube out.
3. I can swim and lay on the beach in Mexico at the beginning of December.
4. I can return to a full workout! (i've been having to modify since surgery, but he says I'm good to go now. :))
5. I have an amazing loving family, church family, and awesome community that has been so supportive of Marcus and I all along. We are so blessed to have so much prayer support, encouraging hugs, and well wishes from you all.

Thanks to all who have stuck with us on this wild adventure. :) Yay!!

In Christ's awesome love,
brelin

still going strong...

Hi Everyone,
I just wanted to share that everything is continuing to go well health-wise. I have been able to stay off the pain meds, and I am now on day 3 of no topamax. The transition has been a bit rocky... with a little nausea and one bout of vomiting, but I'm going to try and hang in there, hoping that my body will adjust all the way to life without chemicals.

I'm still working at American Eagle in Redmond. It's a nice change of scenery for me each day I head to work, and the people that I work with there are great. I'm enjoying my part-time adventures, and the employee discount is nice too. :)

I'm continuing a study of Genesis with a group of women in Mercer Island, through CBS. The study is wonderful, and God's love is revealed more fully in each text. I just finished reading about Abram and his crazy adventures. It seems that the message running throughout is God telling His people over and over again to, "trust me, and I'll get you through." It's so great to know that He never abandons us, especially in our times of sorrow and doubt. awesome.

Marcus is still fine, and still loves his job firefighting. He'll be taking his "year 3" exam in April, and then he's a full-fledged firefighter. Very fun. He is such a rock of support to me, and I'm so thankful that God blessed me with his love.

Well, I guess that's all for me. Have a blessed week, and happy Halloween!
brelin

more fun news

Hi all!
For the first time in as many months as I can remember, I am completely off of pain medication. I have been working on getting off of them since I saw the doctor in September, and I ripped off the last pain patch last week, finally able to manage the pain on my own terms. Don't get me wrong, it still hurts each day--but not so much that I can't take it. And I think it will be even better once they take the feeding tube out too. :) YAY!!

Next piece of good news, I am also weening off of topamax as well. I am down to just 100 mg, from 150 mg, and still feeling good. This is a nerve-dulling medication, and I'm not especially fond of the "stupid" effect on my brain... so I'm trying to get off it. So far, so good. My weight is staying stable, and I am feeling good most days.

Final, and most fun piece of news is... Church council at Sammamish Hills voted last week that I can return part-time to work with Kaitlin, our new youth ministry director, once funds are raised. I am sooooooooooo excited about the possibility of mentoring her, working with the students & parents at SHLC again, and getting to use my gifts again. The church budget is in the red, however, so people are going to have to step up their giving before I can come back. Perhaps they can do a "bring Brelin back" drive. :)

Anyway, hugs and love to all you faithful readers... is anyone even reading still? :) If so, catch my mom up, she says she doesn't read anymore. :)

brelin

show and tell

FIRST OF ALL, I wanted to share that I have been working out since I got my feeding tube put in, and I was able to run 5K in the Salmon Days race on Sunday! I ran the whole way, and I'm super proud of myself for finishing!! :)

Secondly, I was invited to share my faith story with a fabulous group of 9th graders tonight at Sammamish Hills, the kids who will be confirmed this fall. It was such a treat to get to see all the kids again... and I loved getting to share my faith story too!

Here's what I came up with. This is the one that I decided not to go with.
You can pray for something a million times-and it may not seem like God is listening...or that He is not answering in the way that seems "right".

This last year has been like that for me. Sometimes it seemed like everything in the whole world was wrong. I didn't feel like myself anymore. I didn't have the energy to smile and laugh, or run or jump or play... My body was shrinking slowly, until I didn't recognize it as my own. My clothes were too baggy, my hair was falling out in clumps from malnutrition, and I'd already been in and out of the hospital multiple times. This had all been going on for months already, and I didn't know when it was going to be over. I kept crying out to God--wondering when He'd heal me, questioning myself--thinking that perhaps I'd lost my mind. I'd run into folks I knew, and it was such a relief to know that so many people were praying-but so difficult for me to not know what to say them when they asked, "how are you doing?". It was so discouraging to have to repeat, time after time, month after month-----for almost a year-----that nothing was different, that nothing had changed. That I was still vomiting 20 times a day. That I struggled daily with dehydration. That the doctors still couldn't find a treatment that worked. That in the later months, my heart was starting to show signs of damage, and my liver was having problems. And that despite all of the prayers, God still hadn't done anything.

Yet, God was doing something mighty in me. I sort of feel like a half-finished work of art. I imagine that is sort of what those 9th graders feel like too... That God is transforming us into this totally beautiful, super talented, amazingly brilliant, totally strong person--but I'm not quite there yet. I'm starting to feel fabulous, but sort of waiting on the edges for God to finish the project. He's starting to reveal His plan slowly to me, but He's cautiously giving me details, and asking me to wait on Him for the rest of the plan.

I trust that He will continue to work in me, and that all things will be done and completed in His perfect time. I pray that I will be able to be an example to others, that I a masterpiece crafted by the Creator's hand, displayed for all to see.

Amen.

no news is good news :)

here's my life story...

i started working at american eagle at redmond town center part-time about 2 weeks ago, and i am totally loving it!! i am enjoying the fun aspects of working with the public in retail again, and i have enjoyed the employee discount as all of my fall and winter clothes from last year were too big... :)

marcus and i have been having lots of fun together and have been goofing off as much as usual. we purchased season passes for crystal mountain and are looking forward to an awesome snowboarding season. don't worry, the doctor approved. :)

i'm also doing a community bible study with my friend, abby on wednesday mornings. we meet in the middle on mercer island, and we are studying genesis. it's terrific so far, and we've got about 10 other terrific women of all ages in our group. yay!

i'm also leading a group of fabulous 9th grade girls from inglewood jr high on wednesday afternoons. we're studying the one minute bible, and we've got prayer partners too. i'm working with my friends, alaina and breanne on this, and am super excited for the year. :) our first meeting was super fun, and i can't wait for the rest of the year.

i think that's all to report. i'm sorry that it's been so long... our computer is broken at home, we're perhaps getting a new one sometime soon. i'll have to keep you posted.

much love and hugs to you all.
brelin

good news from the doc!

I just got home from the doctor, and I have excellent news!!
He said that I am doing great, and that I can continue to wean off many of my meds. The goal is to be off all but two of them by the end of December!! :) My incision from surgery is healing fabulously, and it looks just like it is supposed to at this stage. He was very pleased that I hadn't used my feeding tube in over a month. I was very pleased to report that as well. :)

And now for the best news..............
He said that he will consider taking out my feeding tube at the next appointment!! The next appointment is November 1, which is really no time at all, when I think about how quickly the time since surgery has flown by! :) YAY!!

I'm so thankful for all of the excitement and joy and fun and love that the Lord has lavished upon me this past year. It's so nice to be out of the season of "darkness"--finally able to look ahead to the future with hope, and a fresh sense of joy and energy for each new day. Many blessings to all of you... and thank you all so much for your prayers. Honestly, I mean that from the bottom of my heart.

Brelin

hiking adventures

I am still unemployed. I enjoy this much more now that I am not vomiting 20 times per day. Marcus seems to work very little at his job as well... so we go on lots of adventures together. This last trip took us to the North Cascades, which I had never been to. We camped one night on some really pretty lake that I can't remember the name of, and then the next day we packed up our things and did a backpacking trip.

The doctor approved all of this, for those of you who are worried that I can't carry a backpack yet. :) We even brought our scale to make sure my backpack wasn't too heavy. We hiked the Thornton Lakes Trail which was a little too much of an adventure--we had to balance and walk on a log bridge (not easy on meds that make you dizzy when you have already low blood pressure), and then at the end, there was a short rock climb to get into the camp ground. I lowered my pack down to Marcus and it all worked out... but it was definitely an adventure. We did take some fabulous photos, and we had a lot of fun!! And the weather was totally gorgeous!! yay!!

Beyond all that, not much is going on. I am still feeling great!! I am keeping food down almost always!! When I do vomit, it is just once in a while... not a million times a day--totally do-able. I am able to get enough calories to keep my weight stable, even on all my adventures. :)

And we sold our car! Yay!
Hugs and love,
brelin

tuesday morning

So, I threw up my dinner on Sunday night also. I'm not really enjoying this trend. But last night, I got really nauseated--and then didn't throw up, so I take that as being a good sign.

Still no job news to report. But I will be sure to keep you all posted. I am expecting to hear something in the next couple of days.... so keep reading, you faithful bloggers. :)

We had the entire Rismiller family over for a festive gathering the other day... we were supposed to go swimming but it was a winter wonderland instead, so we mostly stayed inside. We were a little squished in our humble abode, but overall, it was really fun to see everyone. We decided that it was a "celebrate Brelin eating party". Yay!! Our friends, Abby, Aaron, & Kenzi came over too--and they always add super fun adventures to every shindig. :)

Marcus and I have slowed down on our crazy adventures the last couple of days. I attribute this to the freezing cold temperatures, pouring rain, and ridiculous cloud cover that seem to have taken over outside. I really love Marcus, and I'm glad that he really loves his job, but I really miss living where there is no sunshine. I'm sure many of my other fellow eastern WA friends will appreciate the lack of sunshine piece. I think I'm going to invest in a "happy light." This is some light that you can buy from the store that gives you the proper amount of natural light, so that you don't shrivel up and get prune fingers like when you sit in the bath tub too long when you're little. (just kidding, I made that part up.) Seriously though, I was reading in a medical journal at the doctor's office that people from the Seattle area actually suffer from a vitamin D deficiency from not getting enough sunlight. I'm sure my happy light will get plenty of use over the next 30 years until Marcus retires and we can move somewhere sunny. Tee hee!! :)

Okay, that's all for me.
Hugs and love.
brelin

shoot

Last night I threw up my dinner. That's the bad news. The good news is that I didn't keep going. I'm pretty sure what happened is that I let my pain get out of control, and my body just decided that it didn't want to cooperate any longer. So I just threw up.

I'm feeling my better this morning, and praying for NO repeat performances from yesterday evening.

I'll admit, I was a little frightened that throwing up once was going to spiral me into this horrible cycle of vomiting out of control for another year...but that is NOT going to happen again. I just need to remain calm, trusting that God's got me in his loving arms, holding me tightly, and gently speaking to my intestines, encouraging them to work properly. :) That's what I like to think anyway. He's God, He can do what He wants, right?!

Anyway, I'm feeling good, and loving life.... and I've gotten to re-connect with oodles of friends lately, and I'm really feeling alive again. Yes!! :) Thank you, Lord. Amen.

Hugs to all--
brelin

anybody wanna buy a car?

We're selling our beloved 2001 Toyota Corolla... it gets excellent gas mileage, and would be a great car for a first-time driver, or for someone who has a long commute, or who just wants to save the world. Marcus didn't fit in it, that's why we're selling it. Interested? Let me know.
Moving on...

I'm still eating like a PRO! I even spoke to the GI doc yesterday, and he said that I can get a part-time job, so I am in the midst of applications now. I will keep it a big surprise as to where until I actually get a job. :)

I'm really enjoying being able to live again... :) It's marvelous. I'm still thanking God daily (hourly) for the gift of food, and yesterday, I even ate more than I needed to--just to see if I could. :) Marcus wanted me to "go over" my necessary amount to make sure that I can. And I did it. (yes!!)

All in all, I'm a super happy camper! Please continue to pray for me and for discernment as I figure out God's call for me now.
Love and hugs.
brelin

ripped out stitches again.

i managed to rip out my stitches holding my tube in again. this time i didn't even do anything fun, and i can't blame it on my cute nephew either. i'm not sure how it happened, but it hurts.

i will call the surgeon again on Monday morning and see if they can squeeze me into the schedule and sew me up again really quick in the office. It's mostly just annoying. The tube could fall out, potentially, but I have it taped down really well, and I am not doing anything active or fun until I see the doctor just in case so it doesn't come out. (boring)

on a more fun note, marcus and i drove down to olympia yesterday and got to see lots of relatives. it was a super fun day, and we spent a good chunk of it on a lake--which made it even more fun! yay!! :)

i'm still eating like a CHAMPION!! i haven't had to do my tube feeding for about a little over a week now, since i've been able to eat enough calories by mouth! yay!! thank you, God~!!! Woo hoo!! :)

that's all.
love brelin

me and my feeding tube went hiking

My new photo, which shows off my tongue--which is helpful in digesting my food now. It also shows my feeding tube, which, for the last two nights, I have not even had to hook up--because I have had sooooooooooo many calories during the day!!!!!! Hooray!! MEANING--I ate the whole amount of calories that I needed all by mouth--and it all stayed down! YES!! Praise God!! Woot!! Woot!! My photo also shows off the really fun (not super strenuous, but still pretty tiring) hike that Marcus and I went on Saturday. We hiked to the Second Buroughs on Mount Rainier. I think that all might be spelled wrong, but you get the idea. Round trip it was about 6 miles, and I felt fabulous afterward!!

Yesterday, which was Sunday, we went up to Marysville and worshipped at Bethlehem Lutheran, where our friend Abby is the worship leader. The church was rockin'!! We had a great time, and then went out to lunch with them. While we were way up north, we went to the outlet mall, and I scored some board shorts at Pac Sun for $10 each (sweet)--and then we came home. Last night we went and played some tennis, I was doing really bad, and then we ran around the track at Eastlake. I ran for 1.5 miles!! Yay!! :) I even kinda pathetically sprinted at the end. :)

I LOVE feeling good. Thank you Jesus. My hope is that I can stay on this path of wellness, and get my feeding tube out soon... returning to work, eventually. Please pray for clarity and direction for me... knowing where God would have me go know next. This has been such a long year, it would be so wonderful if it was all coming to an end soon. :)

Hugs,
brelin

"take it easy"

For those of you who know me well, the words "take it easy" and "Brelin" don't often get put together in a sentence... especially when I am feeling good. And I am feeling FABULOUS!! Back before my 11 month bout of vomiting, I was known for running, jumping, and playing with middle school students, and sometimes doing cartwheels on the top floor of the church office.

I have missed doing all of these things since I have been sick. Now that I am beginning to digest, and since I am getting food through my feeding tube--I have so much energy--it's wonderful!! I have started playing a little tennis. (not hard-core tennis, just hitting the ball around), and yesterday I even went running!! The doctor did tell me that I need to stop playing ultimate frisbee, because I could get a hernia that may require additional surgery. Although my flying grab in the end zone was almost perfect--my ultimate days are over for 3 more weeks until I am not at risk for a hernia, thus "taking it easy."

I am eating like a champion!! I have been eating about 800 calories by mouth consistently each day for the last couple of days! Yay!! The rest of the calories that I need, I get from my tube feedings each night. The goal is to get all of my calories by mouth soon, so that I can get my feeding tube out. The soonest I could get it out is 3 weeks... but that is probably a bit unrealistic. It will probably be a bit longer.

The only ridiculous thing to report is that the stitch that was holding my feeding tube into my body came out yesterday, so the surgeon had to re-sew it back in yesterday. Ouch. I was really in a lot of pain at the site yesterday, but seem to be feeling better this morning.

Praise God for the healing that is FINALLY taking place in my body!! Yay!! Thank you for all your prayers, love, and words of encouragement. Hopefully we're nearing the end of this battle.

Marcus and I were talking the other day, and we shared just how much this past year has brought us closer to God and closer to one another. We feel like we can tackle anything together, with God right there with us. :) Yay. Amen.

happy days are here again...!

I cannot begin to express how fabulous I am doing! :)

I wake up in the morning with just a little pain..., I disconnect my feeding tube around 10 am, and then enjoy the day--munching on whatever my little heart desires! In general, my heart is desiring mostly low-fat foods in small portions. For example, I have 1/2 a turkey sandwich with some applesauce. I also really like cottage cheese, I just had that yesterday. I ate 10 cherries the other day!! :) I am keeping a food log, monitoring each thing that goes into my body, counting each calorie, hoping that sometime I can lower the tube feed--eventually decreasing it to NOTHING. :)

For right now though, we can celebrate that I finally have energy!! I have been running and jumping and playing!! Marcus and I joined his family in Sun River for biking & hiking. I even played some frisbee!! :) It is so nice to feel alive again!!

I am still having some surgical pain, but it is fairly minimal. I go see the surgeon one more time on Thursday, and she'll check to make sure that everything looks good, and is healing well.

That's all for now. Thank you for your continued prayers! :) Praise God that I can finally share this good news with you! I am so glad to finally have something to celebrate with you all!! (11 months later..... sheesh!!)

Hugs and love!
brelin

like night and day...

today is a new day... and i have renewed hope again.

The docs changed my formula again last yesterday... they have put me on a lower calorie formula, similar to the one that I was on in the hospital, with different components. This one seems to be doing MUCH better. Previously, I was either asleep, or feeling like I was going to throw up. Now, I am doing a lot better... in fact, I think I can I say I am doing great--drinking water (finally!!) and I even had some crackers and half a piece of toast today!!

And I'm starting to feel hungry! What a wonderful feeling!! :)

Keep those prayers coming!
brelin

out of the hospital...

I made it out of the hospital, and am doing really well, all things considered. I am getting nutrition in my body for the first time since September through my new J-tube!! (yay!)

The feeding tube seems to be doing okay. The nausea is pretty bad, and doesn't really lend itself to eating a lot in addition to the constant feedings. Right now, I am on a 24 hour feeding schedule, trying to get my body used to digesting again. It's on day 7 of digesting, and I think it's starting to revolt. I have encouraged it to "hang in there" as it were.

This morning I dry heaved into a bowl...not a good sign. Nothing came out, and I was super thankful... I managed to "hang in there" for 6 hours longer until my body let loose and threw up a lot of stomach acid. We're taking a break, now, from the feeding, so that my body does not revolt again.
This was my first bout of vomiting since I have come out of sugery--which I am totally thankful for. I am confident that this was just a small hiccup in my progress, and I am on the road to full health again.

Please pray for patience... especially mine. I want to be well... and it's going to be a long road.
Please pray for encouragement for Marcus... that he can stay positive even when it's tough.
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, according to His will...

And so we keep trusting in God's precious love, and resting in His comfort,
brelin

not for the weak of heart.

i was talking to my sister sarah last night. she told me that i needed to put some kind of warning on that link to what's actually happening to me in surgery tomorrow. So, HERE IS YOUR WARNING. Read the article if you are a doctor, if you are tough, or if you really want to know what's going to happen. If not, you might want to skip it... it goes into some hefty detail.

Okay, that's enough about that. Consider yourself warned. :)

Yesterday was a superfun day for me. I played and barfed all day long. We got a couple of our closets cleaned out in the house--one of my favorite projects when I am a little freaked out about something... organizing. When I was done with the closets, we stretched out by the pool, reading a good book--and soaked up the sun. Ahhhh, fabulous. Then we got cleaned up, and went to a movie and out for dinner. We cuddled on the couch and then went to sleep. Oh yeah, and we prayed about a million times. The perfect day... except for all the puking. But hopefully that will all be over really soon. That is what we're praying for anyway. Love and hugs. Amen.

last few days

The last few days have been better!! I haven't been throwing up straight stomach acid anymore!! YAY!! Thank you, Lord. Seriously.
I'm not really consuming a lot of food or beverages. I'm not doing it on purpose. I'm just not really into it. I'm not really hungry. I'm not really thirsty. I just kind of feel blah.

The good news is that I was able to gain some weight while I was on the TPN recently. The bad news is that it wrecked havoc on my liver again, and I had mega-elevated liver enzymes again. The doctor switched the type of TPN that I was on to a nonfat, low-calorie version. I've already lost a couple of pounds since I switched, but that's okay. He thinks that ought to do the trick for the liver. If it doesn't do the trick, then we may have to delay the surgery. I hope (and pray) that it does the trick.

If anyone would like to do some more reading about the J-tube (the type of feeding tube) they're putting in, here's a good website that you can check out. It explains it all very nicely. http://www.dukehealth.org/HealthLibrary/CareGuides/Cancer/TreatmentInstructions/jejunostomy

I think that's all for now.
Love and hugs to all!
brelin

my surgery info

My surgery to have the feeding tube placed in my sm. intestine will be on Wednesday, July 23 at 7:30 am. (I have to be there at 5:45 am!) The surgeon will be Dr. Cornejo. She will also be cutting out adhesions/scar tissue that she sees. She will start out laproscopically, and will move to a larger incision if she needs to.

Please pray that my body will not reject the TPN until the surgery (that is the IV nutrition that gets absorbed in the blood), that my liver will stay healthy(I sort of had a problem with that in the hospital)... and that I will not have any problems with clotting(from my previous bad arm clotting experience).

Please pray for peace, for wisdom for the surgeon and the docs, and for quick and complete HEALING for me.

the surgeon's office

so, for a while now, I have been "against" getting surgery. I was especially opposed to getting a feeding tube placed in my abdomen. As I look back, I think it is mostly a pride issue... and I think it's a little gross too. Pride... in that, I didn't want to be "crippled" or "dependent" on something else to help me live. For some reason the picc line wasn't quite as bad, or quite as permanent in my mind. A feeding tube in the intestine was over some line in my mind. However, I know that many of you have been praying for CLARITY for me. Yesterday morning, I woke up and knew that I needed to have the surgery. I knew with a certainty that I cannot explain or describe--but I have such peace about the decision--so I know that it is in line with God's will.

so, we called the surgeon that we met with in the hospital, and had a surgical consult today. we signed lots of paperwork and discussed the surgery with her this afternoon. the surgery will take place sometime next week... wednesday at the earliest. I will put the date in when I know it. She will be starting out laproscopically (with small incisions), and doing her best to cut out the scar tissue that way, but if it's too overwhelmingly filled with scar tissue from all the abdominal surgeries from the past, she will make another larger incision (over top of the current one) and cut out the adhesions that way. Then she will place the feeding tube and sew me back up once I am all cleaned out. The hope is that surgery will completely heal me and I won't need to use the feeding tube. But I will have it there just in case the surgery doesn't solve the vomiting problem.

Please pray specifically that the surgery will stop the vomiting completely and there will be no complications from surgery. Please pray for the surgeon, Dr. Cornejo. Please pray for peace for my family, especially Marcus. Please pray that we can all continue to keep our eyes focused on Christ--as this has been a long journey.

thank you all so much for your love and support!
brelin

home again, but still puking

I was released from the hospital on Wednesday night, as the doctor was headed out of town for the weekend. He sent me home with TPN and a home care nurse. My home care nurse comes once a week to change my picc line dressing, like before. This time I am on total nutrition, meaning that I get all the vitamins that I need from a lovely bag of creamy looking goo that I attach to my arm. I learned how to inject two viles of other vitamins into the goo so that it is even more nutrient dense. The goo has to infuse over 18 hours, so I am on a schedule from 5 pm to 11 am each day. Delish. :)

I am still barfing like crazy. Stomach acid, water, popsicles, or anything else I might try. I wake up in the middle of the night to vomit. It is not all that much fun... I wouldn't really recommend it. I am exhausted, and my pain is a little worse than normal today, but I am getting some more good drugs today.

My mom and dad (steve-o) are in town, taking care of me when Marcus goes to work. Sarah is coming to visit today, she should arrive sometime in the afternoon. I think that's all to report. :) We're having lots of fun!!

Keep those prayers coming!! brelin

hospital day ten

I had an MRI of my head last night to see if there is anything going on in my brain stem (which is the part that deals with nausea, I think.) I will have those results from the doctor around 12 or 1 this afternoon.
The doctor also checked my common bile duct with another blood test. I should have those results today also.
The doc started me on another new medicine on Monday night. I was able to keep a little food down (a couple of bites of mashed potatoes, and a bite of chicken.) Since that worked on Monday night, he prescribed the same medicine for last night dinner. I had about 1/2 cup of canned peaches, and those stayed down also. I took the same drug this morning, waited a bit, and then tried to eat a few bites of breakfast. Unfortunately, that came right back up after I ate it. Shoot.
Oh, and I am back on the TPN, they started it last night.

I am still thinking positive, and hoping to get out of the hospital sometime soon. The surgeon said that she could do surgery right away if we wanted to, but she also encouraged us to wait and discuss it together for at least a couple of days. We are praying that God will continue to guide the doctors, and that if He wants to miraculously heal me, He can go ahead and do that also. :)

Hugs, brelin

sunshine in my window

I am still at the hospital, and doing my best to keep fluids down so that I can go home. Over the past couple of days, my liver enzymes have gone down a bit so that they are able to restart TPN this morning. They are thinking that an allergic reaction to one of the many new meds that they've tried over the past week is causing the elevation in the enzymes.

Two days ago I had low cortisol levels, so they were checking to make sure that I didn't have adrenal insuffiicency. They did a cortisol test yesterday that came back normal, so that was good news.

The docs are still wondering what to do with me. I have 3 options at this point. One is to go home on TPN, one is to have exploratory surgery (they would do it laproscopically) and try to cut out some adhesions and see what else may be going on in there. And the doctor suggested that while they were in there, they ought to put a feeding tube into my jejunum (the first part of the small intestine).

I really don't want to have a feeding tube at this point, I am still hoping to get better on my own. The surgery itself could change the body chemistry enough that I may quit vomiting. We have a surgical consult today sometime, so we will discuss it and pray about it together. Please pray that we have clarity in our decision-making.

My spirits remain good for the most part. I am trusting that God knows right where I am, and is holding me tightly in his hand. I've had lots of visitors and lots of fun conversations with folks. Thank you for all of the cards, flowers, prayers, and love that you have been sending my way.

God has been sending me these awesome verses to keep me focusing on Him in the midst of all of these frightening times... This is the one from yesterday. "Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need." -Hebrews 4:16.

Love, brelin

liver enzymes

I've been on TPN since Monday, right after I got my picc line. The doctor said that some people "don't tolerate it" for some unknown reason. I happen to be in that minority. :) I always have been special, I guess. tee hee!!

So, they have removed my nutrition bag, my magnesium and zantac, my triglycerides, and all the other goodies. I'm down to one bag of normal saline and a pain patch on my arm. The doctor told me that I can "go ahead and try to eat whatever I want." So, again, we're back to eating and barfing--this time hooked up to an IV in the hospital.

I am enjoying a good book, and I have had lots of company--so the hospital hasn't been bad. My mom and I have gotten to spend lots of quality time together, which has been nice. She has even re-started cross-stitching.... an activity reserved only for sitting bored in the hospital.

Marcus' cold is getting better. He has been really busy on his shifts at work lately, not sleeping much at nights while he is on shift--so he's been able to go home and sleep after work, since my mom is here.

That is all that I have to report for now.
Love,
brelin

adventures in the hospital...

"Mom! Look at my face, there's something different!!" -me, excitedly.
"Bree, I don't see anything different about your face. You have a nice face."-my mom
"Mom! How can you not notice ANYTHING different?!?"-me.

That was the beginning of our day where I was trying to get my mom to notice that I got my NG tube removed in the middle of the night last night. Clearly, she didn't notice.

Just a few short hours later, beautiful sounds abounded in my room. A glorious cacophony rang throughout, down the hall, and into the fabulous nursing stations all around. This cacophony came from the RIDICULOUS beeping noises coming from the 5 IV pumps that I am currently hooked up to. I hope God was glorified with this "beautiful chorus."

On a more serious note, yesterday was pretty rough... I began vomiting the fluids that were being pumped into my stomach through the NG tube. They also found some blood in my puke as well. Since they pulled the NG tube out, I have been doing a bit better.

Today has been full of visitors and more tests (a pelvic ultrasound & a stomach ultrasound). Thank you for all of your prayers, kind words, and love that you've been sending our way.

I should find out all of the outcomes tomorrow morning. Please pray for direction for the doctors and wisdom for the nurses as well.

Hugs and love to you all.
brelin

in da hospital

...rollin' wit' my homies. :)

DISCLAIMER: let me start off in advance with a side note that i am on a narcotic drip medication in the hospital for abdominal pain, and a whole host of other abdominal systems. so what you are about to read may not make sense to you. if you start to trip up... do your best to begin thinking like a 5 year old and try again.

i got my picc line placed in my upper left arm yesterday, and am doing okay with that. i also got an NG tube placed last nigh. up my nose, down the back of my throat, and into my stomach. Yumm! Through my picc line, i'm getting TPN (total replacement nutrtion) during the day, and fluids at night.

more later... hugs and love!!!!!!!!!!!
bree

much more exciting than usual

my week has been full of adventure... and not the fun kind.

on tuesday night at 2 am, i woke up to horrible pain and vomiting. like rolling around on the bathroom floor bad. marcus had i had some good discussion about it, and then decided to head to the ER. we figured i was probably at least a little dehydrated, and they could help manage the pain. unfortunately, marcus had to work the next day, and they kept me at the ER until 7 am. He dropped me off at his parent's house, and headed to the station to start his shift.

wednesday, i spent the day vomiting bile. (stomach acid) i was sipping water and pretty drugged from my ER experience the day before. i did manage to sleep through the night on wednesday night.

thursday, i spent the day vomiting bile again. i went to see the GI doctor in Edmonds and he sent me to the hospital for 2 more liters of saline and some more nausea and pain meds. he gave me a prescription for some tylenol 2 to see if that helped slow my small intestine down enough to keep some food down at breakfast. i'm supposed to call him on monday. he said that he might just "put me in the hospital to try and figure things out" i think i'm ready for that now.

friday, i spent the day trying little bits of things... saltines, juice, thinking that perhaps if i soaked up some of the bile, i wouldn't throw up. but to no avail. i threw up just as much--maybe more. and then didn't sleep through the night last night.

which brings us to today. i kept my tylenol 2 down for the first time, and am sipping on some G2--hoping that i can keep it down. :)

nothing new to report

sometimes i think that i might be going crazy.... like seriously losing my mind. here's why: i ate some dinner last night that stayed down. i thought it was the beginning of beautiful things. then i ate some breakfast this morning. then this morning i threw up my breakfast and some of my dinner. shoot. then all day today, i've just been throwing up everything. even water. that's not fun. so, it's been sort of rough today.

tomorrow i'm going to go see a new naturopath/md. he's the doctor that my brother-in-law, jon, has been encouraging me to go see... jon warned me that the doc is a little weird. i began to get concerned about the appointment, and marcus reminded me that ALL of my docs are a little weird. good one. so here i go.

oh, for those of you wondering, i'm back in sammamish again. and i did enjoy the sunshine today. :) the trip to spokane was fun. it is nice to be home, and resting comfortably in my own bed though. :)

i think that's all i have to report for this day.
hugs and love to all.
brelin

spoke-vegas

Marcus and I are on yet another adventure... this time in Spokane, WA. We are here for a brief trip to visit his aunt's new home with his mom and dad.

Good medical news: I believe my bladder infection is finally gone.
Somewhat good medical news: With the new combination of meds, I am able to sneak some food down in the evenings right before I go to bed, thus getting in some calories...
Other good medical news: I have been able to stay out of the hospital so far :)

We are enjoying the sunshine and 75-80 degree weather. Marcus and his dad played golf today while his mom and I drove them around in golf carts--all of soaking up the sunshine!! It was fabulous!!

Hugs!
brelin

pizza?!?!

i had to end the song titles... sorry, Sarah.
Last night I kept down one piece of pepperoni pizza. It does not fit into the "low fat" category. But it does fit into the "delicious" category. I'm not sure why it stayed down, since literally NOTHING has been staying down this past week... but Praise God for it... and then move on, I suppose. :)
My bladder infection has still not gone away, so I am on round two on anti-biotics. And the GI doc put me on another combination of medications this weekend and told me to call on Monday. I started them last night, and slept well through the night, and did keep the pizza down, so maybe things are looking up. :)
Not much else to report. We cancelled the last part of our trip due to my pathetic self, and we are hoping to visit my aunt, Mary, in South Carolina later this summer. It should be super fun!! :)
I know that God hears all of our prayers, and I know that He is listening, and so I think that He must be doing something big in me--since He is waiting so long to heal me--He must be working on some kind of mighty transformation within. Sometimes I just wish He would hurry up, though. :)

Hugs for the day! brelin

Don't Worry, Be Happy

3 happy pieces of news for this day.
1. I got to see my sister, Alyson and her husband, Rich, that I haven't seen FOREVER... we've had two meals together in the last 24 hours and caught up on life.... it's been super fun!
2. It's 3:27 pm right now, and I have not thrown up the ENTIRE day so far. YAY!!! And I have even kept down like 5 bites of solid food, and a couple of glasses of water too!
3. My grandpa's 80th birthday party was really fun, we got to see the whole Weakley family, we've enjoyed lots of fabulous family fun time, and I got to see my Grandma Sanders too!

We're headed back to Seattle tomorrow. Thanks for the prayers, they must be working, so PLEASE keep them coming!

hangin' tough

Marcus and I are in the Tri-Cities now, we arrived on Monday. Tomorrow is my grandfather's 80th birthday celebration, so we are here to be a part of the festivities. We came early to soak up the sunshine, however, we brought the nasty rain clouds with us over the mountains--so there was little to enjoy on Tuesday. Today the weather redeemed itself, so I spent as much time as possible reading my book out in the sunshine. Tomorrow, Marcus is hoping to get some golf in before the party... and then the party is in the early evening.

My health continues to be slightly ridiculous. When I say slightly, I mean totally. I have been having more and more trouble keeping fluids down lately--and it seems that I can't keep much of anything down at all. For a while it seemed like some crackers were staying down--for the last couple of days, nothing is staying down. I seem to be staying somewhat hydrated somehow though, as I am not cramping, or experiencing the other really horrible side effects of dehydration yet... so I will keep you posted on that.

Marcus and I were supposed to be leaving for a sweet road trip directly after our trip to the Tri-Cities, but I believe that is no longer looking very promising. I think a trip to the hospital, or at the very least, the doctor's office is looking good after we get done here in Richland.

Please pray specifically that this combination of medication begins working immediately, that I can begin keeping down clear liquids--especially enough to stay hydrated, and that, ideally, I can stay out of the hospital. :)

Hugs,
brelin

straight up now tell me?

I'm not sure how many of you remember that cultural reference from Paula Abdul, but it was one of my favorite tapes during my formative musical years. "Straight up now tell me, are you really gonna love me forever... oh, oh, oh? Or am I caught in a hit and run?" Marcus and I were driving in the car yesterday when this song came on the radio--on our new favorite radio station, movin' 92.5-- and we were discussing that we should've thrown something like this into our wedding vows just to "mix it up" a little bit. shoot. S-if you're reading this, it's not too late for you and code name=beautiful. :) Oh yah, just for the record, Marcus and I did decide at that moment in the car, that we were "really gonna love each other forever" and in fact, we were NOT "caught in a hit and run" PHEW.

Okay, now onto my medical issues. I am still basically the same. I continue to vomit. Often. Sometimes I keep crackers down. Sometimes I don't. Sometimes I keep baby food down. Sometimes I don't. I have been eating regular people food when it looks good or sounds good. Occassionally it will stay down... or a portion of it will stay down. Mostly it won't. I am still doing well with water, propel, G2, and sometimes juice. Juice does not always work, however... I keep trying though, because I can get a whole serving of fruits and veggies in one 8 oz glass with the new V8 Fusion and it tastes good. I recommed the Pomegranate Blueberry for all of you who are bad at eating fruits and veggies. :)

We were at the doctor yesterday for Marcus because he played in a softball tournament with the Renton Fire Dept. team and strained his hamstring badly over memorial day weekend. Normally, that wouldn't be a big deal. However, when your job description includes running into burning buildings to save large people, your hamstring is pretty important. So, we went to the doc to see if there was anything that we could do to speed up the healing process. He said don't go to work for at least 3 shifts. Then we have vacation from June 2-18. Nice...

While we were at the doc, I asked him a couple of quick questions, which resulted in some lab work-ups, and some antibiotics because in addition to all of my other issues, I have managed to get a bladder infection too. I know, I'm awesome. :)

My little sister came to visit this weekend, and it was a lot of fun. We cruised around all over Seattle, we checked out the Folk Life festival, we were there when the people got shot, but we didn't get shot, don't worry. We played and laughed, and had lots of fun. She is silly and I love her. My brother is cool too. I love him also. He just didn't come.

I've been pretty discouraged this week, and pretty angry at God. I've been sick for almost a whole school year. That's a long time... I just popped open my bible this morning, and seriously it fell open to this page.

Always be full of joy in the Lord. I say it again--rejoice! Let everyone see that you are considerate in all you do. Remember the Lord is coming soon. Don't worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God's peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus. -Philippians 4:6-7

And so I will keep trusting and keep praying that God's got this all under control... that He will give me just what I need, and I will thank Him for all that He has done. I can't wait to experience His peace over and over again.

Blessings to you all this day.
brelin

welcome Nina! and and the doc report

I forgot to welcome Nina Elise to the world... our friends, the Roddick's had a beautiful and healthy baby girl last Thursday, and she & mommy are doing great!! Congrats to them and to her big sister Betsy!

The GI doc appointment went well yesterday... He listened and laughed with me about my "progress" and then switched around some of my meds. He took me off nortriptyline (which is lowering my already low blood pressure) and put me on Levsin (which is another anti-spasmodic for the intestine). He also increased my dose of Topamax from 100 mg to 150 mg. This is the one that dulls my nerve sensations and also makes me feel a little "dumb". So, please hold on tight for the next couple of weeks while I adjust to the new meds.... and while I stare blankly at you trying to think of your name, or what I'm trying to say. (tee hee!!)

He also said that I need to do whatever I can to try and not lose any more weight. He said that if I get much lower I will probably need to get my picc line put back in and have IV nutrition. I voted no, especially since it's almost summer and a picc line does not go with tank tops. I told him I would do my best to bulk up. He said that I could try and introduce more foods (like lactose-free milk)... and basically to try and eat low-fat foods that sound good. Low-fat is important because they break down more easily in the gut... for those of you that were wondering why I was eating low fat stuff. :)

Hugs,
brelin

nothing new

I'm still on the baby food diet. I would say that there's no real improvements since the last time I wrote. I'm vomiting a few times a day... which is a little more frustrating than vomiting after eating real food, since I'm eating pureed peas from Gerber... but, I'm almost done with this adventure. :)

I go to see my GI doc tomorrow to discuss increasing/changing doses and/or medications, so I will let you know about that. I went to try and do a little work out yesterday, with fairly little success. I mostly just got exhausted, had to leave early, and then felt terrible the rest of the evening. Shoot.

The past week has been full of sunshine in the Seattle area, and I have been LOVING it!! I have been doing my best to spend as much time as possible outside, soaking up the glorious rays, and praising God for the lovely sun!!
It has returned to the normal springtime rain of May this morning... bummer. I will do my best to praise God for the rain too..., I guess. :)

I think that's all... and so we continue to pray and praise. Praise God for the pureed sweet potatoes and the Gerber dutch apple dessert (which if you warm up in the microwave, close your eyes, and imagine really well... sort of tastes like apple pie!!). And we praise God that I continue to thrive WITHOUT the picc line!! I am still doing well with clear liquids!! YAY!! :)

Thank you JESUS!!
brelin

it's may 15th

Hi All,
I am doing okay. Sunday went alright last week... I had a great time at Sammamish Hills in worship and then lots of fun with Carol & Jim, Aunt Ingrid, & Grandma Rismiller for Mother's Day. I got to see my friend, Aaron, in the musical, AIDA, at the Village Theater in Issaquah--it was AWESOME. If you get a chance, you should all totally go!!

Digesting has been going alright. Sunday and Monday were mostly good-- just vomiting a couple of times each. (Remember, my diet is consisting of juices, water, saltine crackers, and baby food, so I'm not really taxing my system... the goal now is for NO vomiting each day..., so that I can stop malabsorbing nutrients.)

Monday night, Marcus and I got to spend the evening with some really good friends--and it was spent with LOTS of laughter and tons of fun playing Rock Band. I think we got pretty good by the end of the evening. :)

Tuesday and Wednesday went well until the evenings. Then, I got sick both nights.

I have not had any more trouble with fainting--so that's good. :) And, I'm really looking forward to the sunny weather that's been forecast for this weekend!!

Yesterday, I got to spend the afternoon with my Campaigner group. This is the group of girls that I took to Young Life camp last summer. We did a bible study yesterday and it was so much fun!! :) You guys are hilarious!! It was fun to get caught up on all the junior high "stuff" of life.

Hugs to you all,
brelin

happy birthday andy & sarah!

It's my brother and sister's birthday today! They are 21 today!! Happy Birthday, you guys!!

The past 8 days has been full of adventure. Here is a quick summary of what has taken place.

May 3-5: Marcus and I went to Portland and had fun with our friend, Tad. We got to see his new place, and meet his cool friends there. It was super duper fun.

May 6: My dad, Mark's, birthday. We had a smashing birthday party at the Outback for him. This was also Day One of my new "Re-Feeding Plan Diet." On Day One of this diet, I got to have water and juice with a few crackers, so I watched whie everyone enjoyed their yummy steaks. (argh)

May 7: I can't really remember what happened on this day. Maybe nothing exciting. More juice, water, and crackers. Delish.

May 8: This was the morning of real adventure. Marcus had gotten up early and left for work--his shift begins at 8 am. I got up to go to the bathroom. I remember feeling a little dizzy, so I grabbed onto the doorframe of the bathroom--and then somehow ended up on the bathroom floor shaking, thinking "I should try not to hit my head on the cabinets". I managed to crawl to the phone and called Marcus because I thought he would know what to do, and I was pretty sure that I didn't need an ambulance. Anyway, I went to the doctor later, with the help of Marcus' mom, Carol--and it turns out that I just fainted--no seizures or anything. (good news.)

May 9: I'm on Day 4 of the refeeding diet. I didn't faint today... I got to have some cream of wheat, crackers, some juices, water, and a little applesauce.

May 10: Today, I'm going for some big time baby food. I know... HOLD ME BACK, world. The idea of the diet is to introduce the foods slowly, as to decrease the vomiting. I've only thrown up twice since May 6th, so I think things are going pretty well. Clearly, fainting isn't ideal, but hopefully we have that under control now. :)

Anyway, I guess that's all for now. Sorry for being such a delinquent blogger. I will do my best to do better this next week. :)

Hugs and love to all. And, keep those prayers coming.... I'm trusting that God is in and through each adventure that we have... I know that He is with us... and that this week He kept my head from hitting the ground (and the cabinet) when I fainted. To Him be the glory...

brelin

i'm back

let me begin by saying that i had a fabulous time in arizona. marcus and i spent 10 days there, soaking up the sunshine, enjoying each other, and playing with our friends andy & heather for part of the time. we got to see God's beautiful creation in trips to the Grand Canyon, Zion National Park, the red rocky hills of Sedona, & the slot canyons of Lake Powell. I also especially enjoyed the 90+ degree weather by laying in and around the pools in the Scottsdale area.

Many of you are wondering how the digesting is going. It continues to baffle me. Somedays are fabulous... other days are ridiculously awful. I learned on our trip that I now get really, really car & boat sick. This (perhaps) would have been good to know before our trip, but, we adjusted some of our plans accordingly. :)

I am keeping down fluids pretty consistently... and clear liquids are staying down almost always (unless I'm in a car, a boat, or I try and eat something along with the clear liquid). So, I'm not getting dehydrated too badly, and I'm feeling pretty good most of the time. I'm still having some pretty miserable days and times, but overall I'm doing alright and my spirits are good.

I'm reading a terrific book, which is challenging my views about what it means to be waiting and resting in God, and I'm really enjoying it... I'll tell you more about some other time. :)

Okay, I think that is all for today! Much love and hugs to you all!
brelin

really excited

I've been doing really good with liquids. I got my picc line out today!! YAY~!!

My first official activity of celebration was to wear a short sleeve shirt with no sweater over the top. It was pretty cold, but it's the principle. There was no longer a 5 inch bandage on my arm, so this should be celebrated!! :)

Marcus and I are going to PHOENIX on Monday. This will be the second, much larger, celebration... which happens to coincide with Marcus turning 30!! I will be enjoying the 90 degree weather and swimming... and yes, I will make sure to drink lots of fluids to stay hydrated. :) Marcus will enjoy turning into a really old person. Ha! :) Just kidding to all of you other senior citizens out there.... (tee hee!!)

Thank you Jesus for the picc line out~
brelin

taking a break from digesting... but so much fun at the party last night!

1. thank you so much to everyone who was at the party last night and who helped make the party happen last night!! it was so much fun to laugh with you all... i didn't realize how much we all laughed together over these past 4 years at sammamish hills!! all those fun times of crazy food games, camps, mission trips, sliding through mud puddles... i love you and will miss you all.

2. i seem to be taking a little break from digesting. it started on saturday night and has continued through until today. the good news is that i am still keeping liquids down. the bad news is that no solid food is staying down anymore. i haven't tried any non-clear liquids yet today...

3. I'm excited to start reading a new book today... it just started pouring rain outside--rainy days seem like perfect days for starting new books!!

4. On one of the cards that I got yesterday at my going away party, the verse on the front was, "A cheerful heart is good medicine." -Proverbs 17:22 I decided that would be my verse of the day.

I hope you all have a fabulous day.
brelin

great news!

1. Marcus passed his 2 year test! He's awesome!

2. I'm still digesting! I've only thrown up twice since Tuesday! It's totally a miracle!!

3. I went to the GI doc yesterday, and he is also thrilled with my progress. He said that he could run a bunch of test to try and understand why I'm suddenly digesting--knowing that they probably wouldn't show anything conclusive, or we could just celebrate. He suggested that we just celebrate and leave all of my doses of medications alone.

4. I'm eating small amounts of food, mostly grazing all day long... and doing REALLY well with liquids. The doc said that I can get my picc line out NEXT FRIDAY!! yay!!

5. AND it's sunny in Seattle today!!

6. Praise God!! Amen.

Thank you so much for all of your prayers. Obviously this is a huge step in the correct direction, and my spirits are definitely refreshed... it is going to be a long road back to full health, and I need to remember that too. Marcus reminded me yesterday that before all of this happened I was pushing him to train for a marathon with me. Now I can barely run 1/4 of a mile. :) but I'll get there.... All things are possible with God, right?! :) Tee hee!!

Love to you all.
brelin

my hope comes from God alone...

so, I threw up last night after dinner, a lot(!!)... but only once.
and so I continue to praise. and I continue to hope. and I continue to trust that God is present.
and I continue to celebrate.
like my fabulous friends, Andy & Heather said, if God is for us, who can be against us?
Good one!! :)

Marcus has his two year test for the fire department today. It's at 10 am for all of you who are totally into praying at just the right time. He's been studying for months, and I'm sure will be fabulous.

I think that's all I have to report... much love and hugs to all.
brelin

i'm a digester...

i'm on a winning streak at the moment... i started digesting at dinner on april 7th (yesterday evening--bacon, an egg, and half a cinnamon roll) and have kept down breakfast (fruit cocktail, cinn. roll & coffee), lunch (some salad, iced tea, bread, & avacado wrap), and dinner (latte & bread) so far today. PRAISE GOD!!

it's easy to praise when things are going great, but i'll be honest, i've been trying to have hope in God's promises even when i'm not feeling so hot.

up until last night, my spirits have been pretty low... i'm sick of the rainy weather, i'm sick of being sick, and i'm tired of not having enough energy to do the things that i enjoy. the thing that God has been working on most in me during this time of being sick, is allowing Him to fill my days. i have time to journal, really reflecting on what God is saying to me in this time and through this tough situation.

i'm working through a devotional right now by Darlene Sala, and she spoke of the need to rest in God's love. it was such a helpful reminder to me, and so i thought i'd pass it on to you. Here is a wonderful verse that she mentioned from the Bible...

Find rest, O my soul, in God alone; my hope comes from Him. -Psalm 62:5

I hope that you, too, can find rest this day, in God alone... allowing your hope to come from Him.

He promises to be there in those moments when you're digesting and celebrating those mountaintop experiences... and he's there in the valleys with you, when you're crumpled on the floor, not able to walk on your own.

Thank you for all of your prayers...
love and hugs,
brelin

not so hot

oooh. the dentist was not nearly as bad as I had thought. I didn't have any cavities! (yay!) My teeth are only a little ruined on the back sides from all the stomach acid, but they think that they'll get better by brushing with special toothpaste and by gargling with the nighttime Crest Pro-Health mouthwash. (for those of you using the blue kind, you should stop--it apparantly stains your teeth after a long time). so, overall, good news from the dentist.

yesterday was rough. today has been iffy. sometimes the liquids stay down really well, and sometimes they just don't. until yesterday, things were going really well. then, things just didn't want to stay down anymore. so far this morning, nothing has wanted to stay down. but i did try to eat some toast... so that's my fault. :) I'll go back to just liquids for the afternoon. :)

i am going to a concert with my sister-in-law, tammy, this weekend in portland. it should be a real adventure!! :) i'm really looking forward to it!! so fun!!

keep those prayers coming for the liquids to STAY DOWN!! i really want to get my picc line out!!
love and hugs!
brelin
p.s. i totally missed april fool's day. i didn't do anything funny, or play any jokes on anyone. shoot. :( what a wasted holiday this year.

i think i'm on the upswing!

These past few days have been filled with moments that fill me with great hope... like, I have been keeping clear liquids down on a more consistent basis. Not everyday... and not necessarily consecutive days in a row... but more consistently. YAY for God! And, I have also been keeping some food down sometimes! My biggest victories have included keeping down half of a toasted cheese sandwich and a piece of garlic bread. Those were on two separate days several days apart. Both were very tasty and fabulous!!

My pain levels are over all better, and I'm looking forward to heading to the doctor sometime soon and asking if I can get the picc line out. Maybe not this week, but maybe in a few weeks. And then I'm hoping to get on a sunny vacation somewhere with my really fun husband! Yay!!

This morning I have to go to the dentist. I'm really not looking forward to it. I haven't been to the dentist since this whole debaucle began... I'm sort of concerned about throwing up on the dentist while they are cleaning my teeth and I'm also worried that they might find that I have ruined all of my teeth from throwing up 90 billion times since September. Hopefully, they'll just tell me that I should keep brushing and not worry about coming to see them.
I will keep you posted. :)

My friends, Josh and Amy, had their baby in Florida yesterday... and so I wanted to do a long distance shout out of CONGRATS and WE LOVE YOU and are praying for you!! Congrats on your beautiful baby boy named Bryce Kayden. He & his mommy are both doing great. Good job to everyone and yay for God for keeping everyone safe!

I think that's all for today!
Much love!!

fabulous

I'm not really feeling fabulous, sorry for giving anyone a sense of false hope. :) I just got back from the Tri-Cities last night. My parents did the "great Brelin swap" with Marcus in Ellensburg last night at 1900 hours at Starbucks. I told them that next time I want to come visit, I am planning on driving myself over, they replied with, "We'll see." I thought that once you turned 29 you didn't ever have to hear anyone say that anymore. Oh well. :)

I had a fabulous Easter with my family. I got to see my whole family (except my brother who is a dork and didn't come home), I got to worship with my family (except my brother---please see note above), and we all had a fun time. AND everyone lived happily ever after.

I had a great good Friday. Since then, I have not been doing so well. I'm not keeping down much anymore... I think that some clear liquids are staying in, more than before--but not enough to have my picc line removed, I don't think. I will be seeing the doc sometime the end of this week or the beginning of next week, and we'll see what he says.

My going away party at Sammamish Hills is April 13, so be sure to mark your calendars. :)

Oh, and please continue to pray for clear liquids to stay down so that I can get my picc line out really soon!! :) You can also pray that God opens the doors that He's like us to walk through.

Yay Jesus!
brelin

really Good Friday

It is a rather somber day, this being the day that when we remember Jesus dying on the cross for the forgiveness of our sins... It is also a time that we celebrate because we are free from the sins of death that once had power over us. Thank you, Jesus!!

I am also celebrating today because I kept down some of a tall, nonfat latte from Starbucks this morning. It is my first "not clear" liquid that has stayed down...and I am thrilled. Thank you, Jesus!!

That's all for today!
Keep those prayers coming!
Brelin

more new meds!!

Once upon a time, there was a beautiful girl named Brelin. She was born on February 25, approximately 29 years ago and was baptized shortly after in a fabulous, fiery red dress. Her good Lutheran grandmother was horrified that a child could be baptized in such a color. Her mother smiled, and said, "it's the fire of the Holy Spirit shining through her." After the baptism, as the baby girl was presented to the congregation, Brelin puked on the pastor. Was this a foreshadowing of future events? One may never know...

(That was a true story)

And, now onto more recent events...
This past week has been rather interesting. I am personally filled with more hope than I have been in the past. I am hopeful that there will be an end to this ridiculous amount of vomiting.

Here are the good things that have happened this week.
1. I kept down a handful of Sun Chips, an 8 oz Shirly Temple, 1 piece of toast, 1-8 oz glass of water, 32 oz of clear liquids, and some jelly beans. Those have all happened on different days.

2. I got to spend the whole week with Marcus because he didn't have to work. We got our house really clean and organized, and I'm happy about it.

3. I'm getting less tired and less confused on the medicines than I was before. (praise God!)

Here are the things that are kinda good and kinda just interesting...
1. If I only drink clear liquids, I'm not really throwing up, so I'm getting hydrated, but I'm not really getting any calories either.

2. If I'm eating food, I'm throwing up, but a small amount of the food is getting digested, so I'm getting the calories...but I'm not getting hydrated.

3. So.......... I'm not really sure what to do.

I just started on two more medicines today.

Carafate and Xanax. One is to coat the lining of the stomach, the other is an anti-anxiety that is absorbed in the intestines. Hopefully it will continue to calm down the gut. I like it when everything is calm in there. I will continue on Glycolax (a laxative-to keep things moving in my slow large intestine), Topamax, and Nortriptyline.

I started cleaning out my office at the church today. It was super sad to start packing up all those memories. I would have been there 4 years in June... I'm so thankful for all of the people at Sammamish Hills... for their prayers, support and love.

Hugs,
brelin

the new nerve meds

I started on some new meds on saturday evening, a fabulous treat of topamax and nortriptyline. Topamax is used to treat migraine headaches, seizures, & chronic pain. Nortriptyline is used to treat depression & chronic pain. My docs are using them to treat chronic pain, and they're hoping that it will help my nausea, help me sleep, and calm my nerve pain. As I filled them, the pharmacist warned that I would wake up feeling like I was "in a fog".... Little did I know, this "fog" would last almost all day. :) I just start to wake up about 4 in the afternoon, just in time for my afternoon pain session to set in, and then I spiral downward into my evening slump. Shoot. Hopefully, I will get used to these new drugs soon. :)

I have set a little goal for myself. It is to start keeping down clear liquids by myself. I REALLY want to get rid of my picc line before Marcus' birthday (at the end of April). In order for me to get my picc line out, I have to be able to keep down liquids on my own. So, that's my plan. I'm not sure how to go about it quite yet, but I'm going to do it. I'll keep you updated on my progress. :)

I guess that's all the updates for now. Much love to you all, and thanks for the prayers! Happy birthday to Carol & Sophie today!
Love, brelin

energizer bunny

I'm not sure how many of you remember those ridiculous Energizer bunny commercials from the late 80's and early 90's. There was this slightly annoying bunny that was banging on a drum, while rolling on wheels into some ridiculous situations. The announcer guy in the would cut in to say, "nothing outlasts the energizer, they keep going and going and going." That's sort of how I feel about my vomiting this past week. I might just be the energizer bunny, and instead of playing the drum--my talent is throwing up. I hope I can find a new talent soon. :)

Marcus and I had our 3 year anniversary on Wednesday! We had a super fun & very full day! We went down to Westlake Center and did some shopping, and then walked around downtown--contemplated eating some delicious donuts from Pike Place--but then decided against it. We went to Thai Tom for lunch--which may be the most delicious food I've ever tasted!! It's located in the U District and it's totally worth the drive to enjoy it. After lunch, I was pretty tired, so I had a little nap, and then we went and played mini golf in the sunshine at the Newcastle Golf Course. The views from there are totally gorgeous, and it was the perfect end to a wonderful day!

As for the medical news, there is no real update. I go to see the GI doc today and talk about getting on the drugs that target my nerves and perhaps anti-depressants. The combination of the two may help relieve the pain even better, so we'll discuss with the doc today.

God has blessed me with lots of fun adventures this week, and also terrific friends that have surrounded me and poured their love into my life. I'm hanging on to the verses in Romans right now...
In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express. And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints in accordance with God's will. -Romans 8:26-27

home again... :)

Hi All,
Just wanted to let you know that we have made it home safely from Minnesota. I go to see the Seattle GI doc on Friday, and will hopefully be able to start the new medications that day. The Mayo clinic docs have written up a "care plan" for the docs here, and the hope is that they will stay in touch with each other until we get the disease to a more manageable place.

Thank you for your continued prayers for peace and patience, as we continue through this journey--trusting that God is with us each step of the way.

We love you all, and truly appreciate your love, support and encouragement!
brelin

a diagnosis from Mayo

Hi All,
Thank you for the prayers and love that you have shared with Marcus and I these past (rather challenging) months.
On Friday afternoon, I was able to consult with the GI doc at Mayo again, and review the test results. The news was good, but certainly not ideal.

1. I have a condition called "visceral hypersensitivity". This falls under the spectrum of Irritable Bowel Syndrome, and the doc says that I "carry a heavy burden of the disease". There are nerves in the gut (stomach, sm. intestine, lg. intestine) that help the digestion process, and mine are totally revved up, making my body freak out and vomit everytime there is a stimulus (food, water, etc.)

2. It is good news that I don't have gastroparesis or something else along those lines, as the prognosis for folks with that type of disease is much more difficult. I will not die from visceral hypersensitivity (clearly good news :))--I just might not feel that great right now.

3. The hope is that I will respond to medication which will target the nerve endings in my gut, calm them down, and I can return to a new "normal" life. The drugs they use for this include lyrica, remeron, and topomax. (I will not be taking lyrica, since I am allergic, but the new prayer is that I respond to one of the other drugs.) The doctor shared that she can not promise I will be asymptomatic, but the hope is that I can at least manage the disease better than I am now. The doc shared that it is sometimes difficult to manage the disease, but that there is a lot of research going on in this area, and the hope is that they will have better drugs in the next couple of years.

4. She also told me that it's not going to be an instant recovery. It's a lot of guesswork, while we try out different medications, doses, etc... and this is all going to take time. I'm not a huge fan of waiting to stop vomiting, but I trust that God's hand is in and through this. He clearly has said, "keep trusting me with it all"... and I'm doing my best.

5. In all honesty, I'm a little angry, a little frustrated, and mostly exhausted--but I know God can take all of that, and keep holding me in His hand. It was our prayer that God would use the trip to Mayo to heal me completely, and that I would return whole and healthy. It doesn't look like that was His plan, or at least not in His time. And so we wait, continuing to know that He can heal at any moment, but for some reason allowing me to go through this. We trust in His love, holding tight to His promises, and are doing our best to have hope in what is to come.

Hugs,
brelin

mayo day 4: the results

We just finished our appointment with the doctor... Here are the results thus far.
1. I have a motility problem. They are trying to figure out why and where exactly. I will have a gastroduodenal manometry test and a rectal manometry test. I'm pretty sure that neither will be very much fun. Feel free to read up about what that means on the mayo website if you really want to know what's going to happen to me... it might be better for you not to know. :)
2. I have anemia. But the rest of my bloodwork looks good.
3. My small intestine is rotated, but not kinked. Kinked would actually be better because they could fix it easily. Rotated is a sign of a motility problem.
4. I had a slightly irregular neurophysiology exam. The GI doc had to review with the other doc who read the test, because there was something bizarre that she'd not heard of before. But the rest of my autonomic nervous system looks good.
5. I will have a nutrition consult tomorrow at 2:30 pm instead of on March 19. Yay Jesus for letting me get squeezed in. I did have to fill out a 7 page questionnaire about struggling with obesity and how well I manage my weight with diet and exercise. Marcus and I had a good laugh while we checked the boxes and wrote a lot of "n/a". :)
6. My mom is flying into Rochester in 45 minutes, so we are off to the airport to pick her up soon.
7. We are super thankful to be here, and have let the docs know that I'm happy to stay until they cure me. :) We are trusting that God is in and through each minute of the days that we spend here. It's cool, there are Bible verses all over on the walls, and there was even a statue of the angel of affliction, letting me know that everything would be okay. Oh, and there are 19 Lutheran churches alone in the city of Rochester. We're pretty sure that we can find somewhere to worship tomorrow night.
8. You can pray that my dizziness subsides, and that I am able to get through the tests swimmingly. You can also thank God for this place and for the docs here.

Lots of love,
brelin

mayo clinic day 4

We are embarking on the adventures of day 4 this morning. All of my appointments seem to begin really early in the morning....like 7 am.

Yesterday I celebrated my birthday by eating radioactive eggs, toast, and a cup of milk. I was supposed to keep them down so that they could see how long it takes for my stomach to empty. I, however, opted to throw up the majority of the radioactive treats, and I might have ruined the test. We'll find out this afternoon at 4 pm. After radioactive breakfast, we hung out at the hospital all day (from 7:30 am-4:15 pm) It was a real hoot.

The rest of the day was a bit more fun... I had a little nap, and then we went to the mall in Rochester. I ended the celebration with ice cream from Cold Stone.... Birthday Cake Remix. Marcus sang happy birthday in the mall for me. :)

Today I have more tests... I've already had a radioactive scan this morning, and I head back for a Body CT scan in a little bit. Following that, I will have a Neurophysiology Exam, checking on my autonomic nervous system, and then another appt. with the doctor, where we'll review the results of the tests so far, and then make a plan for the next week or so.

I think that's all... I will try and update tomorrow morning also!

Love brelin

mayo clinic, day one...

We arrived at Mayo today and had my first appointment. I'm seeing Dr. Locke, who seems very nice, and who seemed confident that he could help me get better soon. We have a schedule for Friday through Tuesday... I am going to remain "outpatient"... meaning I get to stay in the hotel with Marcus. (YAY!)

The docs talked with us for about an hour about what's happened in the past, and what is going on currently. For those of you new to the story, I have had fairly significant digestive issues since 1997. The most recent flare up (since Sept.) has just been much uglier than the other ones I've had in the past.

Tomorrow I have a blood test in the morning, and then nothing for the rest of the day.

Marcus and I are headed to Minneapolis/St. Paul for the weekend to hang out with our buddies, Andy & Heather.... so you can all check on Monday for the next blog update. :)

Monday I have multiple tests, and then on Tuesday, I have a bunch more appointments. I see the doctors again on Tuesday and find out all the results of my exams. At that point, they'll decide what's going on, and what other tests need to be done.

I think that's all there is to report. Please pray specifically for the tests to have clear results, and for the doctors to have a good understanding of what the results mean. You can also pray that I can sleep well... I've been having trouble with that for a couple of weeks now.

Much love & hugs,
brelin

ahhh, the frozen north...

We made it to Minnesota, and then onto Iowa, but it was all not without incident.... Our original flight was supposed to take off on Monday morning at 11 am from Seattle. However, there was something broken on the plane, and although they just needed a part from Boeing, which is located less than 30 min from the airport, the company could not deliver it... so we had to wait for another part to fly in from MN before they could fix the plane. Needless to say, we weren't going to make our connecting flight. However, Marcus had already connected with a really nice lady that works for Northwest Airlines, and she'd hooked us up onto a different flight that took off from Seattle at 3:15 pm. We got to fly first class all the way to Rochester!! It was great!!

Unfortunately, our bags didn't join us in Minnesota until the following afternoon (Tuesday)...but it all worked out. We finally got all of our bags, and drove down to Iowa to visit our superfun friends, Andy & Heather. We enjoyed frozen custard shake thingys from Culver's and got to catch up on everything!

I had a pretty rough night last night... much more vomiting than normal, and it was very painful too. We are really looking forward to getting to Mayo tomorrow, and hoping that they can find something, fix it right away, and send me happily on my way, eating and digesting. :)

Thank you for your continued prayers. We're asking for prayers specifically for the Mayo team of docs that will be working on me. For clarity, wisdom and discernment for the docs and for us too!

Much love,
brelin

happy valentine's day!

The last couple of nights have been really bad, pain-wise... I have a new trick where I get a sharp pain in my stomach, and it goes all the way up to my shoulder and down my arm. It's one of those tricks that should include a warning, "don't try this at home".

I ventured out into the world to attend Lenten Worship last night. It's so refreshing to sing the songs of Holden Evening prayer. The services are at 7 pm during Lent at Sammamish Hills Church if you all are interested in going.

I continue to trust that God's presence is in and through each medical nightmare...knowing that His arms are wrapped around my ever-shrinking waist, I am confident that He is here with me through each pain, through each tear, and through each bout of vomiting. Yay God!!

hugs,
brelin

one more week to mayo!

The past couple of weeks have been fairly rough. I struggled with a virus and fever for 7 days, and then began coughing up bloody mucus. That's not good. So the docs put me on anti-biotics, and I seem to be doing a bit better.

My vomiting continues multiple times per day(any time I eat or drink anything). I had to go off my pain meds on the 7th for my appt at Mayo, and since then my pain has been pretty ridiculous. I'm trying to be tough, and some days are better than others. Yesterday, for example, was terrible, but today has been a little better.

Marcus and I leave for Mayo next Monday. We get to visit our friends, Andy & Heather for a couple of days, and then my first appointment is on Thursday, Feb. 21. Lots of people ask what will happen while we're there. We really have no idea what to expect. We are pretty sure that they'll run a bunch of tests, and then based on their findings develop a short and long term treatment plan for me.

I think that's all I have to report.

good news from the doc

We went to see the doctor again today, and he reassured me that I just have a nasty virus of some kind... My fever finally broke last night (I was up to 101), but am back to 98 today. Praise God.

I still have a really sore throat, and it seems that the vomiting is a little worse than normal...but God seems to always provide just enough strength to get through, so I'm counting on Him for that right now.

We're still looking forward to the trip to Mayo. Just a couple more weeks!! yay!!

Hugs,
brelin

ahhh, the ER.

After a rather momentous 4 hour adventure to the ER with my friends, Kristin & Rebecca, I learned that I have a virus. It's possible that there is something else wrong, so the ER doc encouraged me to follow-up with my primary-care physician in the next couple of days--I could have a blood clot in my left arm, without any symptoms but pain, but they're hoping I'm just sore from the virus. They checked me for strep throat, which came back negative, and I have fluid in my ears and a red throat too. My lymph nodes are swollen in my neck and throat also, so that's fun. I am still running a fever, have a sore throat, am vomiting, dizzy, and exhausted (even more than normal). I also have a fascinatingly symmetrical rash that the doctors were intrigued by.

They told me that they'd never seen anything like it, and if they had a digital camera, they would have photographed it and sent it into a medical journal. I love being the "medical mystery" patient. Please note my sarcasm on that one. :)

The ER docs were incredibly kind and helpful this evening... which is nice. :)
That's the end for me today.
Hugs,
brelin

another fever...?

I started running a small fever on Friday. It has gone away and come back twice since then. Today I woke up and it's now 100. Not terrible... but since I usually am 96 or 97, it is not so good.

My throat is also hurting horribly (which I thought was from vomiting, but maybe is from being sick), so hopefully the fever is just from the throat and not something else more important. I have a call into my doctor this morning, so I will keep you posted on what they decide to do with me. I'm hoping I don't have to miss the superbowl. :)

I'm still vomiting a lot. Sometimes I can keep down a small amount of clear liquids, but if I try to introduce anything else then I throw up a lot. Shoot. The doctors here have exhausted their good ideas, and so I'm just in a holding pattern until we make it to Mayo. The next step in Seattle is to open me up and see what's going on in there, remove some scar tissue, and put me back together. I'm hoping that the doctors at Mayo will have a better idea. The docs here are more than happy to work with the Mayo docs, which is really nice. :)

It's Feb. already, and I'm really excited for them to find an answer that is nice and flowery... like, "We have this medicine that will cure you in 1 hour, and then you'll never throw up again ever!!" You can pray for that if you want. :)

Until then, you can pray that my fever goes away. :)

Thanks,
brelin

one of these days...

...you are going to read my blog, and there will be news like, "Marcus and I just finished a triathlon in Hawaii" or "we just got back from a cruise in the Carribean"... or "God totally healed me and the doctor's can't understand how"

Unfortunately, that is not today's entry. :)

I am still vomiting, now on a double-dose of medication. That's the highest dose that you can be on... so I'm remaining hopeful for my visit to Mayo. It seems that I'm keeping small amounts of clear liquids down on occassion with the new double dose... but no amount of food is staying in. Shoot.

The good news is that my heart is hanging in there on the double dose, there is no sign of problems on my EKG. (That is one of the side effects of the meds... it can cause heart problems.) The other good news is that I'm totally done with my blood clot shots, and that it will continue to heal all the rest of the way on it's own. The huge bruises & swelling on my sides are going down now that I'm not on huge doses of blood thinners, so that's nice too. :)

I remain on 2 liters of IV fluids per day, and that is seemingly keeping my weight stable. It helps with the dizziness too, although I am still getting dizzy often...

For the last couple of weeks, I have not been sleeping through the nights... I wake up about 4-5 times each night in pain. Please pray that this gets under control soon. :)

Hugs!!
brelin

double the meds

we finally got the clearance from the doctor to double the dose of medication that i am on. this is good news because it means that my heart is not affected by the medication, and it means that i might stop vomiting on this higher dose of meds. I took my first double dose at noon, and it didn't really do anything magnificent yet...but i will keep you posted.

on a more pleasant note, we've had lots of fun with our nieces & nephews lately. they are really cute and really funny, and really good at snuggling and reading stories. i am a fan of all those things as well... so we have a lot of giggles together.

much love,
brelin

still vomiting...

Thanks for all of the prayers. It turns out that my fever just lasted one day...Praise God for that one!

The drug study medicines seemed promising the first couple of days that I was on them, but since then, have not been helping nearly so well. I'm not really keeping down much of anything except that I'm no longer vomiting just stomach acid. (which is a definite improvement) I throw up about 10-15 times a day though, which is not really good. My vomiting is definitely worse in the evenings, and my latest trick is to throw up so hard that it's difficult to breath. I wouldn't recommend it... :) I just had an EKG (to check and make sure that my heart is okay on this drug study medication) today, and if those results are normal (which we're expecting), the doctor can double the dose of the medication and see if that does the trick.

I finished my last shot for the blood clot in my arm!! It ended up being one whole month of shots! I have really nasty bruises, but hopefully they'll go away soon. The blood clot treatments are all over for now. We'll just continue to pray that my left arm stays clot-free with the picc line in it.

We booked our flights to the Mayo Clinic in Rochester. We'll be flying out on Feb. 18, and returning home sometime around March 4. Marcus will be with me for the first half of the trip, and then he'll come back home to work. My mom will join me for the last half of the trip... so that I'm all taken care of.

more news and more prayers needed...

I have good news and bad news.

The bad news is that I am running a fever. The home care nurse just checked it and said to call the doctor tomorrow if it's still there in the morning. Please pray that it's no big deal...

The good news is that I kept down half an english muffin and 1/2 a cup of water this morning! Yay!! On the new meds I can usually keep down some breakfast, but then at lunch and dinner I just throw up all the time. In the afternoon/evening is when it gets the worst, and right before bed is a pretty rough.

I will keep you posted over the next few days... My vomiting is down right now to about 5-7 times per day! Praise God!

love brelin

the drug study meds...

Hi All,
I have two big pieces of news!
1. I started the drug study medication yesterday at 2 pm. Since then, I've kept down some water, and a few crackers. Last night I had a few horrible vomiting episodes, but hopefully those will get fewer really soon...!!
2. I had another ultrasound, and my blood clots are getting much better! I am still clotted in my subclavian vein in my right arm, but previously I was clotted in 4 veins... so being down to one is much better! I am on my last 7 days of shots!! Yay!!

That's all I have for you today... I will keep you all posted on my progress--hopefully I'll have excellent news to report tomorrow!
Brelin

swollen face? yikes!

So, while I continue to wait for the drug study medication, propulsid, the doctor thought that he'd try me out on another medication for the abdominal pain. He thinks that there may be some nerve damage, and so put me on lyrica to see if that helped with the pain. Interestingly enough, I tried it, and sort of felt like I was floating in a pool... I turned some pretty interesting shades of green, and had a rough evening of vomiting and feeling like I was going to pass out.

The next morning I woke up to find my face pretty swollen. Imagine Angelina Jolie-looking lips, and my eyelids and cheeks were really swollen too.... It was less than gorgeous. We looked online and found that if you have a swollen face on lyrica, that you are supposed to contact the doctor immediately, because you are having an allergic reaction. Sweet. So, I'm okay now... my face is back to normal... but it was just a little new adventure for my weekend.

I'm back on two liters of fluid a day, we think that part of the dizziness is due to dehydration. My vomiting has been worse (and more often) than normal, so we're REALLY excited for the drug study medication to come and work really well!!

I guess that's all of my adventures. You can continue to pray for my abd. pain... it's pretty bad this week... and for my blood clot to continue to be reabsorbed. And that the study medication comes quickly and works effectively right away.

Much love,
brelin